


Welcome to Camp El Barrio

by GamblingDementor



Series: Post Nuclear War Apocalypse In the Heights (Camp El Barrio) [1]
Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fallout, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Badass Daniela, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Girls with Guns, Local Nerd Nina, M/M, Post-Nuclear War, Sex In A Cave, Trans Sonny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:57:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 68,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8444908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamblingDementor/pseuds/GamblingDementor
Summary: In a world where everyone fights for themselves, a world where the bits and scraps of humanity are left scattered across the surface of the Earth, and mutants and bullet shots their everyday landscape, Camp El Barrio is one of the last bastions of safety for those who find it. When Vanessa and Pete find themselves in a dire need of a safe haven after a botched robbery, will they just find the comfort they were hoping for and some time to get back on their feet, or will they find so much more?Ensemble fic in a post nuclear war apocalypse AU. NaNoWriMo 2016.





	1. Prologue: The Wounded Vandal

**Author's Note:**

> This is written in the context of NaNoWriMo. Expect daily updates and yell at me if they don't come. 
> 
> M rated because of chapter 18. The rest has no explicit content and is rated T.

Pitch dark. No sign of life in the damn cabin all day, not through the windows and certainly no one stepping out. Either the damn recluse was out of his lair, or he was dead for good and either way, Vanessa had no patience left in her to wait any longer. She tapped Pete's shoulder, who was lying next to her, both having been surveying the come-and-go from the old shanty for most of the past day, and nodded her head towards the back door.

 

"Now," she said.

 

"Finally some fucking acti…" He started but shut his mouth under her glare.

 

She gestured to shut up for good while launching the sneak break-in they'd had all the time in the world to plan all day, her machete out and ready. Pete's pistols were loaded, posture defensive, ready to shoot if she ever gave the signal. His arms only shook a little bit these days whenever he used the guns. She couldn't blame him for feeling scared. He would learn to keep steady with time, with more nights out like this one. He'd have to.

 

Tough life, the wasteland. Got you places you never expected, nasty places, but you did what you had to. Survival, right? Vanessa knew more than a little bit about that. All her damn life she'd had to get by, or long enough that she'd forgotten what it was like to feel safe. The only safety she knew was a blade in her hand, a rifle on her back, her little mate Pete by her side and enough guts between the both of them to go through each day.

 

Thumbs up to signal him the field was clear. A nod in response. They were a team, her and Pete. Thick as thieves, they said. Thieves was such a bad word. Vanessa and Pete didn't steal, not exactly. They found. They gathered. Ideally in dwellings that people abandoned long enough for them to plunder. Never huge stuff, never vital stuff either. Some tatos or fruit, always a treat when they found some, clear water if there was any, bandages for the road, all the non-essential medical supplies they could put their hands on. This time, Pete had let his ears wander in the right places and they'd heard of the lone farmer who hoarded enough veggies to feed a damn settlement and refused to sell or share any of them. That'd sounded like a place they'd want to kindly visit.

 

Vanessa and Pete sneaked behind the house, past the small barb-wire fenced fields, past the sleeping hounds. She'd scanned the terrain many times already, but as far as break-ins went, she'd learned that you usually only really knew what you were dealing with once you actually dealt with it. She put a finger on her lips as she progressed, always first in line, always protecting Pete from whatever danger might be ahead. Back against the rough planks of the walls of the shack, ears all open for anything breaking the steep silence of the middle of the night. Nothing. The weight of the night their ally.

 

The go ahead was given and they climbed up the steps of the side-porch. Vanessa was careful, she always was, only she was the older one, twenty-three but who had seen more in her short life than most settlers had after double that age, and the reason why she'd seen so much was to protect Pete from it. And so Pete, her little Sharp Pete who would make a big name of himself some day, did the stupid thing and bumped into the tin cans hanging from the roof to warn against intruders.

 

"YE DAMN RASCALS WON'T TOUCH MY FRUIT, YA HEAR?!"

 

His voice was raspy and blood chilling and Vanessa hated everything in that moment. Before she could think to grab Pete and escape, the hounds were upon them, and Pete hadn't been expecting an attack from the rear. Vanessa was too far to help him cut down the beasts. She'd barely taken a few steps when the old mad man rushed out of his mess of a home, flamer in hand.

 

"Holy fuck he's gonna roast us down!" Pete yelped and helplessly tried to shoot at the man's arms to make him drop the fiery weapon. He'd barely gotten one hit − a miss − when his bigger pistol clicked empty and he tried to holster it because there wasn't time to load it up, but a few seconds of inattention could be his downfall. Vanessa groaned and jumped the rest of the way towards him, her machete falling down heavy on the resisting hounds. Damn this old douche, did he feed his little pets some mutant shit? Why were they so tough?

 

"Switch up!" She told Pete.

 

Hounds, she could handle much better than him, hard to beat as they were. Just smash 'em up. Easier with a blade than a gun. A flamer, though. She knew it was only a matter of time before the grandpa started firing at them and it'd be the pits of the Earth unleashed on them then. Pete needed to deal with that.

 

"C'mon, Pete!"

 

Pete's hands were shaking even heavier than before and it was a miracle he managed to even hit the trigger. She knew he'd hit target without even looking.

 

"My arm! Ya nasty son of a…"

 

A small blast of fire and the smell of something burning, thank God not flesh, not Pete. Another slash of her machete across a hound's throat and it fell down with a ghastly bark, but others were surrounding her from all sides. She couldn't see what Pete was doing but there were grunts coming from up the porch and she was getting worried.

 

"Pete, are you alright?" She cried out.

 

A dog leaped at her when she turned around, blunt fangs biting into her skin. She groaned and tried to hack it away but the pain was dulling out her motions and she felt dizzy. She gave a few weak slashes of her blade but missed the hounds.

 

"Vanessa!" She heard from a million miles away.

 

Her legs gave way and the world faded to black. 

 

The sun blinded her when she woke up. At once she sat up − or at least wanted to, but her side burned with a sharp pain and she fell back on the ground clutching herself.

 

"Pete?" She asked feebly, coughed heavily, asked again. "Pete, you okay?"

 

"Yeah," he breathed out, sounding ever so relieved to see her wake up, as if he was the one who needed to fuss. He sank to his knees next to her. "We barely made it, Van. Had to carry you back to safety, the guy was mad as hells, I don't know how I managed to get you out… You slept for a _long_ time."

 

She looked at his face. No visible injury. Brow furrowed, but that was his own fault if he worried. She could breathe again.

 

"How long?"

 

He was at her side, already pampering her. Her forehead was hot, why was it so hot? Sweat, of course, and some cloth he kept dabbing her with, filled with what did _not_ smell like fresh clean water. She pushed his hand away and he sat back, hands on his knees but restless. Fretting. He looked infinitely younger than his sixteen years, young as the little boy whom she'd crossed paths with forever a lifetime ago.

 

"It's late afternoon, you weren't sleeping well, I was… I was worried."

 

"Meh," she shrugged and this time, sitting up was a success. "Takes more than a lonely old mad man to get the best of me, you know that."

 

"You're _hurt_ , Van," he insisted, grabbing her shoulders, forcing her down when she tried to stand up, up and running as soon as she could. "Can you just lie still? You need medical aid."

 

She toyed with the rough bandage he'd apparently applied in her sleep to what looked like a big wound. At least it was on the left side, right below the shoulder. She could deal with that. She could always deal with whatever life threw at her. Weapon in her right hand, it wouldn't matter if her left side was injured, would it? She didn't care for being coddled like a new babe, so she made herself stand up despite Pete's protest.

 

"See? Good as new," she said and tried to ignore the loud thudding heartbeat at her temple. "I'm not a _child_ , Petie, I can handle mys…"

 

Whatever point she was trying to make was severely undercut by her folding over as if she'd been punched in the guts and puking out whatever she'd eaten for the past two days. Her throat was burning, hotter than her skin even, and Pete's hand patting her back, the other holding her two braids off her face weren't enough to be soothing. She retched more than her stomach could handle, weaker than she'd ever felt. The left side of her was hell itself, fire just under the surface, under the thin bandage that was likely as not just a torn garment he'd applied to the wound in emergency.

 

"Okay," she admitted, hands heavy on her knees, sweating like a skewered pig. "Okay, I might be hurt."

 

" _Ya think?!_ "

 

She took a few wobbly steps, leaning on him more than she should.

 

"A'ight, get my stuff, we leaving."

 

"What? No! Fuck, dude, you can't walk in a state like this."

 

She made a show of sighing loudly in his general direction before leaning down (painfully, but that wasn't for Pete to know) to pick up her old rifle, her machete, her handgun that she fixed at her belt, and she shoved the backpack into his arms.

 

"Vanessa, what are you doing?"

 

"Finding help."

 

"Wha… No, you have to lie down!"

 

"Petie," she said, hand on his shoulder. He'd be taller than her soon. She wasn't sure she liked that.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Ya see help anywhere here?"

 

He rolled his eyes.

 

"Then we're looking for help," she said with finality.

 

She turned her back to him and started walking before he could protest any further. She considered it her privilege as the older one to make every and all important decision for the both of them, with or without his input when he was being silly. Behind her, he begrudgingly followed into her steps. She smirked. Silently, he took her rifle from her back, strapped it on his own, and wanted to take her machete as well before she stopped him. She wouldn't be treated like a cripple, as much as he wanted to be kind. One weapon was the maximum she'd let go of.

 

The rest of the day was almost relaxing, if it weren't for the keen pain making every step a hurdle. Whatever bad luck had been on them the night before was gone. They stopped every so often. Pete pretended it was to snack on the rations left from their previous successful heist, and though Vanessa knew it was an excuse to let her rest, she didn't comment on it. The weather was mild and fair, breeze making the tall grass whisper around them. Vanessa and Pete didn't like to use the roads, least of all the road well traveled, so the prairie it was.

 

"Look," he grabbed her arm, pointing.

 

There, in the distance, was a huge wooden billboard where mismatched letters spelled exactly what they needed. In the middle of the deserted wasteland that was grass and rocks and not much else around these parts, the sign was probably visible for miles across.

 

"We're going there, right?" He asked eagerly. "They have to have medical supplies, maybe we could spend a few days and rest."

 

"Only two miles away…" She considered it. "Alright, but just a few days."

 

"We should be there by sundown," he smiled.

 

It'd feel good to see humans who didn't want to kill her again, she thought. A good idea. They started walking towards wherever the overlarge arrow on the billboard was pointing and even from so far, the bright neon letters were a welcome message of hope. For the rest of the walk, they were able to read it and Vanessa thought that maybe just this once she'd let herself rest for a very short while before hitting the roads again.

 

 

The sign read _Want to settle down? Come find your new home. Two miles South. Welcome to Camp El Barrio._  



	2. The Newcomers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniela is awoken for the arrival of two new travelers in the middle of the night, one of them wounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prologue was the only chapter from Vanessa's point of view before the epilogue, even though a lot of this story will be focused on her. Introducing one of the four point of view characters, Daniela!

The roof of Daniela's room was leaking. The gutters had been shaky for a while and all it took was the downpour they'd been experiencing all night for them to overflow straight into her room overlooking the inner yard near the gates. So much for taking it easy tonight. Twenty years ruling over El Barrio, she should have known by then that there wasn't such a thing as a quiet evening on this settlement, and yet the lukewarm drops on her forehead when she'd just laid down to try and catch a few hours of sleep had still been a nasty surprise.

 

This camp was cracking at the seams, there was no other way to put it. The buildings had been rickety when the settlement was first built, and that had been all before she was been born yet no one had bothered to replace the rusty ship containers, the rough planks, all the bits and pieces that had been available back then. Instead, every new addition had been glued onto the already dubious foundations and the weight of time was starting to feel heavy. There'd need to be ground work on her little haven of peace in this tough world, and soon. She didn't want to pass on a paralyzed old dysfunctional camp to the person who would no doubt replace her one day when she'd get herself killed by beast or man.

 

The door to her room swung open to the sweaty red face of one of the messenger boys. He was leaning on his knees, out of breath as he tried to speak. He'd obviously sprinted all the way here. She wondered if maybe she'd have to go over her job jurisdictions and find the poor kid some less physical job more fitting to his skills − or obvious lack thereof.

 

"Doña, there's… new… people!"

 

She sighed. Perfect. More people to house in this mess of a settlement. She was glad for the extra hands, of course, but a bit less so for the extra mouths to feed. Still. She'd sworn to keep this camp a place of guaranteed safety and comfort for those who sought it and new people just meant new dwellers of this camp, new members of this family if they wished to be. They probably would. These days, the travelers rarely just passed through. El Barrio was becoming more like La Ciudad and she wasn't entirely confident they'd be able to accommodate many more in this state, but she couldn't just close the door to the newcomers after she'd opened it to the ones before them.

 

"How many?" She asked.

 

In the corner of her room laid an old steel bucket that she placed under the trickle of rain still falling down.

 

"Two," the boy replied. "A boy and a woman."

 

He was smiling and Daniela couldn't remember his name for the life of her. This was what was happening to her these days. A camp too big to know every child's name. Or she was getting old. She shuddered at both prospects, palmed her revolver at her hip to remind herself of her worth. As long as she was the toughest on the field, then she wasn't old at all. _Thirty-nine and already fretting like an abuelita_ , she thought, _this is what this crazy life is making of me_.

 

"North gate?"

 

"No," he replied with some sort of polite curtsy, ready to take his leave. "Your office, Doña."

 

"Thank you," she patted his head. "Now go tell Mr Rosario the roof of my room is leaking. Make it quick and you can go ask for a fresh apple by the kitchens."

 

The despair at the prospect of having to run again was quickly replaced by the hope of a reward and he dashed off.

 

Her office, he'd said. Daniela knew what that meant. Cramped space, the whole settlement in need of heavy renovations, space was always shared and her office was the exact same room as Claudia's healing hut. The newcomers had to be wounded.

 

"Claudia, brief me in," she asked as soon as she opened the door to their little metal shack.

 

" _Mija_ , this isn't pretty," Claudia said, busy at the bedside of one of their new guests. "But I think I can do it, God willing."

 

It was the woman who'd been injured. She looked more like a girl to Daniela, young and a bit thin for her baggy denim overalls that were down to her hips for Claudia to work on the ugly wound on her left side. Her brown skin was covered in the dust of the dry plains up North and her hair was tied down into two thick braids. She looked like she'd seen the roads. Her eyes were struggling to stay open, staring up at their nurse of an old lady, Claudia whispering sweet nothings to reassure her. Sitting next to her holding her hand was a boy, carrying way more weapons than a kid his age should. He wore goggles on his shaven short head and a thick sleeveless jacket covered with pockets that all looked filled with whatever trinkets travelers carried these days. He stood up as soon as he saw her.

 

"Ma'am," he bowed his head. "Me and her, we're… Well, she was hurt and we were looking for help and we were hoping…"

 

Daniela stopped in front of him, examining him. Honest green hazel eyes, a serious face, maybe a little bit stern for a boy. She wondered if she'd know this face as well as those of all the other dwellers soon.

 

"And who have we here?" She asked.

 

"They call me Sharp Pete," he said, filling up his torso to look older and stronger and bigger than he was.

 

"No they don't," Daniela replied, patting his cheek.

 

"You're right," he admitted sheepishly. "They don't."

 

"And who is your…"

 

" _Friend_ ," he replied immediately. "Her name's Van. Vanessa. She got bit by one of 'em hounds, you know…"

 

"It's a luck I was up late at night," Claudia commented. "This is a serious wound, it needed urgent care. I already put her to sleep. She's a tough one, Pete tells me they've walked all the way here from Lone Larry's cabin."

 

That was several miles away. Daniela whistled, impressed.

 

"Is she gonna make it?" Pete asked anxiously.

 

"Of course," Claudia smiled.

 

"Claudia can make anyone better in no time. Guarantee from El Barrio," Daniela added.

 

Claudia waved that away modestly, but smiling because they both knew it to be true from the past decades Claudia had been the camp nurse and doctor. Quietly, she kept at her work and from the glimpse Daniela caught of the wound, that'd last her a whole long while.

 

"Mijo, it's late. You're going to sleep now," she commanded the boy. "And tomorrow we'll deal with you."

 

Pete looked like he wanted to stay by his friend's side but Daniela never gave orders only to take them back. She called out to one of the guards outside in the central square where the healing hut had been built and told him to accompany their new guest to the shared dormitories for youth on the East side of camp. He saluted and immediately walked away, Pete having to trot into his steps. Daniela watched the two of them walk briskly in the rainy night before turning back to the situation at hand inside.

 

"Is he telling the truth?" She asked. "Hound bite?"

 

Claudia nodded. She was cutting clean white fabric.

 

"Maybe other factors he's not telling, but I think he did what he could. He applied a bandage as soon as they were out of danger. She'll be just fine, but it's going to take time."

 

"You said she was tough. She'll make it, right?"

 

Claudia hummed positively. Daniela let her do what she did best and went to sit at her own desk, feet on the table.

 

"Two more people…"

 

"This camp has been there to welcome everyone since before I arrived as a girl," Claudia said. "It can handle two more people."

 

" _I know that_ ," Daniela replied, mildly exasperated.

 

She thought of more to say but didn't want Claudia to think her whiny. This was why they shared this cabin. Of course, there was the lack of space, but Daniela had chosen to share her office specifically with Claudia for a reason, and that reason was her never ending wisdom and life experience. Having power was something. Using it for the good of the people was something else. Daniela appreciated and needed good counsel.

 

Claudia also knew when to leave her to her thoughts. She'd taken a basin, filled it with water and whatever herbs it was that soothed the flesh and made for a quick recovery. She stitched up the side of the girl, thankfully fast asleep by now. It was a little bit messy, but Claudia patiently sewed up everything neatly.

 

"Quite a bite," Daniela commented.

 

"A girl this age shouldn't be fighting for her life," Claudia replied wistfully. "She can't be older than Usnavi…"

 

That was her thing, mercy for everyone. Of course, there was an ideal of life they all wished they could achieve some day, the comfort of a vault maybe, the safety of a parent's arms around you, but then there was the reality of the life they were in and that was a world in which girls sometimes had to fight for their life. Still. She thought of Carla's smile and nodded in agreement. Girls that age should be protected.

 

After the stitches, the layers of fabric, light enough that it let her breathe, clean enough, white enough to let her see any and all bleeding possible. Claudia knew what she was doing.

 

"I've done what I can," she finally pronounced.

 

She picked up a dirty red top from the floor and put it back on the sleeping girl, then strapped back the overalls and tucked her in under a blanket. A hand brushing her brow almost lovingly and she was up to come sit by Daniela.

 

"Sleep," she said and it sounded like an order. Daniela hated orders, at least when they weren't hers, but from Claudia, she'd take them.

 

"If my room isn't a pool by now…" Daniela pondered. Under Claudia's quizzical brow, she added, "Don't worry, I called for Kevin."

 

"Goodnight, dear," Claudia smiled and gave her a kiss on the brow before taking her leave to the side room that was hers.

 

Daniela took one last glance at the girl. Vanessa, if that really was her name. Even in slumber, she looked worried. She turned around in her sleep, her back to Daniela, an arm hunched over her bandaged side. Daniela switched off the light and left her alone.

 

 

When she went back to her room, Kevin had put a bigger bucket under the hole and promised to fix it the next day. Well. She pulled her bedframe a little bit to the side of the room so the water wouldn't dribble on her and went to sleep. She'd deal with the newcomers again the next day.


	3. The Delivery Round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usnavi the kitchen boy hands out breakfast for everyone on camp and makes a discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot of exposition, I'm sorry, I just wanted to give off the vibe that this camp is a real vibrant place where people coexist and enjoy each other's company.

"Abuela, have you seen my hat?"

 

Usnavi was frantically searching the shack that hosted his family with no sign of the damned hat whatsoever. No sign of Abuela Claudia either, he realized. That was odd.

 

"Abuela? Sonny, you seen Abuela?"

 

On his top bunk, Sonny whimpered and buried himself under his blanket again. Usnavi looked around. Most people in the room were still fast asleep, but Usnavi was a kitchen boy and kitchen boys had to be up before everyone if the camp was going to be fed properly.

 

"You'll be late for your mission," he told Sonny and went on his way, a grunt the only answer from his cousin.

 

The camp was still empty, the sun not yet out in the sky. Usnavi loved the morning, especially after rain showers like the one they'd had the night before. The whole camp looked like it was steaming, dew pearling under his steps. It smelled of dirt and wet metal and trees. It smelled of people, his people. He had lived in El Barrio all his life.

 

"Buenos días!" He called out to the members of the kitchen staff already busy at work in the cooking barracks.

 

There was Juan and the lazy twins Mara and Morty, and that new girl from the last group of travelers, Isabela, and Carla was there this morning. More would arrive later. Carla handed him a knife and a chopping board as he sat next to her by the table.

 

"Thank God I got here before…" He started but the voice he was scared to hear whispered behind him.

 

"Late, Usnavi?"

 

He cringed but turned around and gave Señora Rosario his best smile. She had the gift to creep up on people, especially her subordinates.

 

"It's just, I couldn't find my hat…"

 

"Still haven't found it, I see," she said dubiously.

 

He patted his head and remembered that he had left without it after all. Camila Rosario smiled and pinched his cheek before shoving a slice of apple in his mouth.

 

"Well, get to work then."

 

He swallowed it all, fighting a cough, and obeyed without asking for punishment. He wasn't even the latest − several people came in after him, all of them greeted by their generous, if more than a little frightening overseer. None were punished beyond a chide. Morning was the time for chit-chat and unwinding, though time was always running short when you had near four hundred mouths to feed as they had these days. The camp was ever growing but Usnavi liked it this way. He knew everyone and everyone knew him. The people at this table preparing enough breakfast for everyone were his family, like Abuela and his cousin and aunt were his family.

 

The sun was well and up when he started his delivery round along with a few other members of the team. Usnavi thought that the sky always seemed to shine brighter after a night's rain. He grabbed his basket, ready to pass around breakfast wherever people were stationed around camp.

 

Nina wasn't at her desk when he reached the engineers' quarters. Kevin alone was hunched over drawings that Usnavi had no desire to try and decipher.

 

"Warm bread for you, chief," he said. "And there's coffee."

 

Kevin glanced up, surprised to see him and Usnavi suspected he'd been at work for too long already, but he said nothing and simply served his meal. That was his job. Everything was just easier when everyone just did their job.

 

"Thanks, Usnavi."

 

"Nina sleeping in, huh?" Usnavi asked politely.

 

Kevin chuckled.

 

"Nina, sleeping in? I don't think so. She was up early to work down in the labs."

 

Round the camp he went, into every house. It was just easier this way, if people did their job without having to worry about food. It made him feel useful and like he was taking care of his community. Almost at the end of his delivery round, Daniela was eating breakfast at the soldiers barracks. Carla was sitting by her side, and then also Jane his aunt, the two of them whispering and blushing like the fools in love they were. Usnavi prided himself in being better than that, but deep down he knew the same blood ran through his veins as in Jane's and he feared the moment he would fall for someone as hard and sudden as Jane had fallen for Carla.

 

"We've already been served, Usnavi, thank you," Daniela said. "Come sit with us."

 

Carla had arrived before him. Often as not, Daniela asked her to stay and eat with her. It was no secret Daniela had a soft spot for sweet Carla − and who didn't? Maybe the child she'd never had, maybe something else, but Carla was Daniela's closest friend and maybe the only one who could warm up that cold façade so quickly.

 

"Oh, cool, there's jam," Benny said from behind Usnavi and sat next to him, mussing his hair. This was why Usnavi wore a hat, if he could ever find it back.

 

"Nice," Lincoln Rosario said, sitting on the other side of Usnavi. "We never get enough fruit. I should talk to Mom about it…"

 

"Speak for yourself," Benny joked. "There's trees in the wasteland. We get plenty on our missions out, right Ms Daniela?"

 

"Not everyone is allowed on the outside, Benny!"

 

Benny was another of Daniela's little favorites. For such a stern assertive woman, she had many protégés. Benny had been personally handpicked for her elite squad of special missions when he'd been a teenager and it was no secret that Daniela was grooming him for ruling after her. He was also Usnavi's best friend in the world, and his constant tease.            

 

Sonny materialized next to his mother, clamping up at her side and picking from her plate. She hugged him close, kissing his forehead.

 

"Hey, that's my hat!" Usnavi yelped and stood to snatch it from Sonny's head across the table.

 

"Looks better on me," Sonny grumbled.

 

Usnavi made a show of glaring at him, shoving the hat back onto his head where it rightfully belonged.

 

"Get your own," he said. "Also, we expected you at the food dispatch this morning, you never came, so good job with that."

 

"Actually," Daniela objected. "I gave Sonny a new mission."

 

Sonny grinned like a smug idiot, even though there was no way he'd have known that this morning. Usnavi was in the right, he knew it, Sonny wasn't being a good courier boy, but he couldn't say that in front of the big boss.

 

"And what is that?"

 

"She's making us test out some newcomer on the field," Jane explained. "We're leaving tomorrow."

 

Sonny and Jane were peas in a pod, mother and son, the best team of couriers the camp had seen, or so Sonny said.

 

"Newcomer?" Usnavi asked curiously.

 

"Two of them," Carla said. "They arrived during the night."

 

"Claudia had to take care of the older one," Daniela said. "Tough cookie, she was out of bed before everyone this morning, half her stomach bitten down."

 

Usnavi winced. That marked the end of his breakfast break − he wasn't all that equipped to handle the gross stories of the healing hut or the soldiers. He much preferred the safety of the kitchens.

 

"I'ma finish my distribution," he said, standing up. "And maybe see those newcomers you're talking about."

 

A couple more stops for the lazy rats who slept in and he was about to wrap up his delivery round and go back to the kitchen to get started on lunch when he saw her in front of Abuela's healing hut.

 

A girl. Woman, really. Maybe his age, give or take. Almost bare up the waist, she was wearing overalls that she had left unstrapped, hanging at her hips to stretch herself more easily in the fresh air of the morning. Wraps around her chest, and not just for modesty, her entire left side wrapped up and blood starting to seep a little bit under the shoulder. He suddenly felt worried sick for her, and he didn't even know her.

 

Who _was_ she? Not just a girl he'd never seen on camp before, surely one of the newcomers, but who _was_ she who could make his heart throb and triple size? Who was she who was obviously injured and yet exercised her morning routine as if nothing was amiss? Who was she who was so beautiful he was half convinced she must be a vision?

 

"Erm…"

 

The girl looked up. Her eyes were large and dark and he wanted to know their exact shade. She nodded in his direction and he gulped, heart beat so loud in his ears he couldn't even have heard if she'd talked. A few steps his direction and his blood was pulsing faster than he thought humanly possible. What was he supposed to say? _"Hey, want some breakfast?"_ didn't seem like the kind of opener that wooed women all that efficiently. She was walking his way and he had no idea what he was going to do. The world might as well end a second time, the ground seemed about to crumble under his feet.

 

"Ah, Vanessa, I've heard you'd sneaked out of bed," Daniela said behind him. "You gave Claudia a fright, never do that again."

 

The girl walked straight past him to talk to Daniela, who she'd been looking at all along. _Sure, that's more like it_ , Usnavi thought, not without some sorrow.

 

"Usnavi," Claudia called out from the hut.

 

He shook from his thoughts to join her in the otherwise empty hut − one of the beds had been slept in, but not for very long if the rumors were to be trusted. His hands were fidgety as he unwrapped the bread and fruit paste for Claudia, as well as the pastry he'd kept specially for her.

 

"So, erm, you weren't there this morning."

 

She thanked him for serving breakfast, gave him a heartfelt hug that felt like coming home after a long day's work.

 

"Two newcomers, I'm sure you've heard," she said, offering him a cup of coffee to share with her. "One of them was hurt."

 

"Was it… erm, was it that girl outside?"

 

She nodded, gentle smile on her lips and he wondered how obvious he was being.

 

"She looks… strong."

 

"She is," Claudia said. "I don't know how she does it."

 

He hummed in response. He could still picture the way the muscles in her arms had been flexing when she stretched them, the curve of her shoulder, the sweat at her mid riff… He swallowed thickly and tried to look innocent and like he wasn't thinking about such things that Abuela Claudia wouldn't want him to think.

 

"Well, here's to hoping they'll stick around!" He said, his best effort to sound casual. "We could always use some new faces."

 

 

"We'll see," Claudia replied. "Maybe they will. We'll just have to be patient."


	4. The Scientist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina gives Vanessa a tour of El Barrio.

 

El Barrio was crumbling from the roofs down. Nina could see it happening, refused to see it happening. And her dad who had come in this morning to warn her about some leak in the top level quarters that had occurred during the night, as if she didn't know. Of course she knew. She'd known for years the gutters would need replacing, of course it'd only been a matter of time.

 

She'd been awake all night. Sleep didn't hold a very high spot on the list of Nina's priorities, never had. When camp had fallen asleep and the night guards had taken over, Nina had climbed all the way to the top of the radio tower where she had plain view over the whole camp. She often did, it was her special spot. She saw everything better than the rest of them from up there. Even as rain had began to drizzle, then fall by the bucket, Nina had stared down at camp from the top room of the tower, even higher than Lincoln's radio booth that gave the place its title, and she had only come down in the morning dew to start her shift much earlier than she ought to down at the labs.

 

Nina had read more books than anyone at camp, and by far. She knew much about agriculture, about the way drainage worked, about the best method to build greenhouses, about the most efficient weapons and how they worked, but it didn't take a genius to know that El Barrio was an old camp starting to turn to dust. The settlement was ancient in measurable past, built several decades ago, maybe a century or more. No one lived to tell the memory. Even though many dwellers were freshly arrived folks or maybe their children, the camp was old nonetheless, old and tired. Every generation, every come and go had chipped away at the camp's resources and facilities and it was in dire need of restoration.

 

Nina had plans, she always did. Most people were pretty satisfied just filling their duty to camp, doing their job and patting themselves on the back for helping the whole place run its course. Nina wasn't most people. She couldn't just stop at the misshapen form of the tower where she lived and marvel at it. She needed to think ahead, to see further than the others. She saw the building and also saw what it could be if they were to build it again, sturdier and better. She saw camp and also saw what it could look like if they built it anew. Or at least she had a vague idea.

 

This was what she was doing down here. Trying to formulate plans to make this place better. This was her dream, this was what she planned to do, but she was only ever one person and El Barrio only had so many books to help her establish real and strong perspectives on the camp's future. Every time the book trader passed by camp every few months, Nina jumped up on her and begged her for each and every book on engineering she might have, but the truth was that a lot of that knowledge had been lost in the Explosions and Nina might as well have asked her for medieval Russian folktales and gotten an equally bewildered look.

 

A knock came at the door, a surprise at this time of the day. The rest of the team didn't tend to show up until much later, and when they did, they didn't knock, just walked down the steps to the underground lab that was her brainstorming haven and that, incidentally, she shared with the engineering and maintenance team.

 

"Come in?"

 

The door clicked open and steps echoed down the stairs and Nina turned around to come face-to-face with a complete stranger. A girl her age, a bit shorter, a cute brown tired face giving her an awkward smile, hand barely raising in a half-hearted wave.

 

"Nina, right?" She asked.

 

Nina nodded, standing up to shake the stranger's hand. Her shake was firm, almost too much so, and she gave a curt nod.

 

"Vanessa," she said. "Your boss told me you would give me a tour of camp?"

 

_Oh._ Daniela and Nina had long found an arrangement between the two of them. Daniela allowed Nina the full use of the lab facilities to do as she pleased, but in return, she had but one favor to ask of her whenever she wanted. Nina was an excellent judge of character, she said. Nina wasn't sure she was any better than the regular settler, but she still agreed to give newcomers a tour of the place and chat with them when Daniela needed her opinion on strangers. If this girl was here, she was of special interest to their queen, no doubt.

 

"Of course," Nina smiles. "Let's go."

 

It couldn't help to change her thoughts, get away from those plans for just a short while. Maybe talking about camp would give her fresh ideas. Besides, Nina actually did enjoy meeting new people, which was lucky considering they were numerous these days.

 

"So, you're coming to join us?" She asked Vanessa politely.

 

She got a snort in response. She stared at Vanessa expectantly. Vanessa shrugged.

 

"Hells no," she said. "Just a few days, hopefully. I just had to get some aid for this bad boy."

 

She lifted her left arm and through the arm hole of her tank top, Nina could see bandages covering a large part of her side, what promised to be quite a large wound.

 

"I see…"

 

"We're just passing through," Vanessa promised. "So, a tour around camp?"

 

Part by part, she told Vanessa everything she knew about El Barrio. Of course, there was what everyone could have told her. The soldiers barracks on the east side, next to the elite quarters where her friend Benny slept, and the shower facilities nearby, though most families had their own basins for personal use. The hunters district, because meat was still almost only coming from the outside, and next to that the farming sector, with the kitchens in the middle where her mother ruled in every way. On the west side, her radio tower, where they went to say hi to her brother who was just starting his morning program with some new records he'd bought on the last trading fair in the central square last week. The clothiers, two old ladies who always pinched Nina's cheeks and told her she should eat more, and next to them the storage units and generators. The North Gate of course, though Vanessa must have seen it on her way into camp (Vanessa confirmed that she had, but also that her memories of actually arriving were blurry considering she'd been hunched over in pain), and down in the South the security gate that only the soldiers and rangers could use because everyone knew South was where raiders came from.

 

Camp was a whole ecosystem, a whole thriving community, but Nina wouldn't have given a complete picture of the place if she kept it to that. She didn't omit the fact that the soldiers quarters were starting to run out of bunks for the ever growing guard, that it still didn't have running water, that sewage was barely functional in camp for that reason. She didn't hide that they had tried to raise their own livestock but that they'd all died or fallen ill due to lack of space, that the farmers were overworked and exhausted, that clothes were running a bit thin because there just wasn't enough space to plant flax when more mouths to feed came every day. She told Vanessa everything about the raid assaults the camp was under every so often and from the overcrowding of their housings.

 

Good and bad aspects of camp, with maybe a slight insistence on the latter, the tour was in any case very thorough. Through it all, Vanessa had kept mostly silent and Nina was wondering what she would even report back when Daniela asked her what she'd thought of their new guest.

 

"And we're back at the lab, where I work," Nina said. "It's not much to look at, but…"

 

"Are you just gonna tell me everything that's wrong with this place?"

 

Nina paused. She _had_ been pretty negative about the camp.

 

"I'm just being honest," she said tentatively.

 

"So you just point out the flaws without doing anything about it?" Vanessa asked.

 

Nina wanted to feel offended at the underlying criticism to Vanessa's words, but frown she might, she still knew Vanessa was saying the truth.

 

"I don't… know how."

 

Vanessa chuckled breathlessly.

 

"Yeah," she said. "Man, if someone gave _me_ the reins of a project like that, I'd just leave the mess to someone else and get the fuck away, you'd never see me again." She stared up at the mismatched buildings that made up El Barrio. "Still, someone has to do something."

 

"Yeah," Nina said. "Someone has to."

 

Vanessa nodded and they smiled at each other. Nina invited her back inside lab where their breakfast had been delivered.

 

"So, Vanessa," she said, handing her a piece of bread, some fatty meat. "What do you do?"

 

Vanessa devoured the food as if she hadn't eaten in weeks. Chewing, she tried to eat and answer at the same time, with moderate success for either.

 

"Whatcha mean?"

 

"Are you a trader?" Vanessa shook her head. "A hunter? Are you traveling from another settlement? From the military police?"

 

She swallowed down her piece of bread and bacon and grabbed some dried fruit from the plate.

 

"Nah, Pete and I, that's my friend, by the way, we're here together, we're just… We just live our lives."

 

"On the outside?" Nina asked, her heart full of envy already.

 

"In the wasteland, yeah. It's like you said, it's not much to look at, but…"

 

Nina had always wanted to step outside of camp, even for just a moment. What Vanessa was doing, actually living out there in the wild, that was folly, and yet beyond exciting to her. Maybe being so critical of camp had rendered her so much more envious of the outside than she ought to, but she couldn't help feeling thrilled at the prospect of hearing stories from the wasteland from someone who'd really lived there.

 

"Tell me _everything_ ," she begged Vanessa. "You and I are gonna be the best of friends."

 

 

It was well past lunch and into the afternoon by the time Vanessa was out of stories to tell her.


	5. The Boy and his Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete accompanies Sonny and his mom on a courier mission outside El Barrio. Bonding ensues.

"Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

 

Sonny jumped on the bag filled with the goods his mother had just exchanged at the trading post.

 

It'd been a long day for the three of them, Pete and Jane and Sonny, walking all the way from El Barrio to this small settlement to deliver some package and trade a little with the locals. All day, Pete had felt like a third wheel in the fastest smoothest duo this side of the wasteland − he wondered if that was what people felt about him and Vanessa when other travelers walked along their side on the roads sometimes. Probably not. Still, they were pretty close too, he thought almost jealously. He kept her in his thoughts all day, hoping for a smooth recovery. When he'd talked to her before leaving, she'd punched his shoulder and told him she could still beat him up in a brawl if he needed proof she was fine. He hadn't taken her up on the offer.

 

But Jane and her son were a whole new level. It seemed to Pete that they could pretty much communicate without words, and here he was in the middle of it all, lost. The whole day, it'd been like that. At some point, Sonny had whistled, just a hum really, and before Pete knew it he was hit in the head by a diving bird because Jane had had the sense to duck and he hadn't. A while later, Jane had nodded in Sonny's general direction and next thing Pete knew, both were dashing away in bushes to hide from an incoming two-headed boar that Pete barely escaped. At lunch, they'd eaten from the same dish, each picking what the other didn't like. Pete had felt awkward then, as if he hadn't been meant to be on this trip at all.

 

"I told you," Jane answered, impassible to Sonny's begging. "You can't do it yourself again, Claudia said you bruised last time. She handles the needle, you can wait until camp."

 

"But Mamá!" Sonny whined but it fell on deaf ears.

 

Jane kissed his cheek and left them alone for a while − first time all day − to go check out the goods of some other trader. Small settlement, this place, much smaller than El Barrio. Apparently, from what Daniela had told Pete, Sonny and Jane were couriers and traders from El Barrio to all the neighboring little camps. Living their lives half on the roads, half at home.

 

Sonny sat down heavily on a tree trunk the settlers had placed like a bench next to their campfire, staring down at the bottle like it was the most precious thing in the world. Some medical supply, by the look of it. They'd been on a medical aid haul today, Sonny had said, this particular settlement especially good in that area.

 

"What's that thing?" Pete asked.

 

Sonny looked at him and blinked a couple times before shoving the small bottle back into the bag.

 

"Nothing," he said, biting his lip. "Just… Nope, nothing important."

 

"What's it do?" Pete insisted. "You wanted your mom to put it in your body two seconds ago, it sounds important."

 

Sonny shrugged.

 

"Just normal stuff, you know, normal guy thing." He patted Pete's back. "Anyways, you haven't said a word all day, dude."

 

It was Pete's turn to shrug. He hadn't exactly been expecting to be sent out on a mission like he was just any other settler in El Barrio, but that woman, that lady Daniela, she'd just walked up to him and told him he'd be accompanying Sonny and Jane on the field and the thought hadn't even crossed Pete's mind to refuse her.

 

"You and your mom, you're… you're a great team," Pete said. "I don't wanna intrude."

 

He thought of Vanessa patting his head and teaching him how to handle a gun. He wondered if she would duck if he whistled when a bird tried to attack them, if she'd tell him to hide from wild beasts with just a nod, if he'd understand. They were in sync, always had been, but to what point?

 

"Yeah, I'm crazy about her," Sonny laughed. "No, but seriously, loosen up, talk with us."

 

Pete thought it daring on Sonny's part to put the blame on him for not being part of their duo already, but then, he reflected, he _had_ kept silent all day. Vanessa could easily impose herself and own every space she walked into but that had never been for Pete. He kept his thoughts and desires to himself and sulked when he didn't get his way without doing much about it. Apparently, it wasn't Sonny's way.

 

"I guess I could be more chatty," Pete admitted.

 

"Yeah!" Sonny grinned. "I know it's intimidating, coming to a camp so great as ours, but we're just normal people."

 

"Watch your mouth, mijo," Jane sneaked in from behind them. "Don't sell lies to the poor boy."

 

Sonny pinched her arm in revenge and ran away before she could mess with his hair. His laughter was clear and everywhere, filling the space they were in, as easy and natural to him as breathing out, it seemed. Pete smiled and followed them out back to El Barrio.

 

The way seemed shorter, somehow. It should have been the opposite, with the new bags of supplies they were carrying, but all the way, Sonny riddled him with questions. What was his favorite color? Pete didn't have one, he liked everything. Maybe yellow, if he had to pick, like the sunflower fields up North that Vanessa and him had stumbled across one time. Did he speak Spanglish like they did in El Barrio? He spoke what he spoke and didn't know anything about other languages. Was he Latino? He wasn't sure. Maybe. Maybe not. He'd have to ask Van. Could he whistle with grass blades? Yes he could, and offered a demonstration that Sonny heartily applauded. Had he met Abuela Claudia yet? Yes, when he visited Vanessa yesterday to check up on her. And Usnavi? No, who was that? Question after question, Sonny's mind went everywhere, but always came back to camp. Like Sonny himself, Pete pondered.

 

"So, what'd you say your reason was to come to the best camp ever?"

 

Jane rolled her eyes, a fond smile on the lips.

 

"My friend needed medical care," Pete replied. "Maybe you've seen her, she was supposed to stay in bed but she just walks around anyways. Grouchy girl in a red top and overalls."

 

"Oh, her? Yeah, I seen her," Sonny said. "She told me I was short but cute, so I guess she likes me?"

 

Short and cute? Pete glanced at Sonny, trying not to stare. Pretty accurate description as far as he was concerned.

 

"Anyways, we're leaving soon," Pete said. "Vanessa said before the end of the week."

 

The way Sonny's face fell, Pete felt as if he'd just told him he'd abandoned a little puppy in the woods.

 

"El Barrio is a good place," Jane said. "You sure two kids like you are better off on the roads?"

 

" _You're_ on the roads," Pete said.

 

He didn't love being called a kid. He was sixteen. In the old world, he'd have been able to drive a car, to literally be on the roads, if that was what people actually did before the Explosions. He wasn't an expert on history. He wasn't an expert on anything yet.

 

"Maybe," Jane said. "But I also sleep in my bed every night."

 

"Not always in _your_ bed," Sonny pointed out.

 

"Oh cállate," Jane smirked. "But mijo, you should consider it."

 

Pete's heart warmed just a little bit when he realized she was still talking to him. He didn't know what all the words they used in camp meant, but he felt that this one was a good one.

 

"I'll think about it," he said and that was the end of that.

 

Back in camp at sundown, Sonny offered him a tour of El Barrio, just the two of them.

 

"I already got one yesterday," Pete replied.

 

"Ain't no tour of El Barrio like Sonny's special tour," Sonny said, punching Pete's shoulder playfully. "C'mon, I'll show you around."

 

Sonny loved this place so much, that was obvious. Yesterday, the guard who had showed him around had barely pointed at all the buildings and given a short description, and that'd been it. Not so with Sonny.

 

"This is where I live," Sonny said, showing off the small room like it was ten times bigger and more impressive than it really was. "This bed's mine, and under me is Usnavi, then there's my mom, and…"

 

He rambled on and on, showing Pete cool rocks he'd found on his missions and the pocket knife his mom let him keep, and a million other things. They visited every part of camp and it seemed to Pete that Sonny knew everybody.

 

"You got a bunch of friends," Pete commented.

 

"Nah," Sonny said. "I mean, yeah, but everyone does. We all love each other."

 

_Love_. That was a strong word that Pete wouldn't think of using for himself. He must love Vanessa, for sure, but loving her was probably the same as loving the sky or the sandy dirt under his feet. She'd always been a part of his life and his love for her wasn't pouring out of him like Sonny's love for the people of this camp. It was just normal, a normal thing to do, loving his oldest and only friend. It didn't make it any less real, but he admired Sonny for being so unlike him, so passionate about everything and everyone in this place. He supposed that was what having a home was supposed to be.

 

"Man, just look at it," Sonny sighed. "It's gorgeous."

 

They were standing in front of a huge field of mismatched crops growing everywhere, the paths so narrow Pete had no idea how people could walk without crushing the veggies.

 

"Mmh, splendid."

 

Sonny looked at him, smirked.

 

"It's beautiful _because_ there are twenty-six workers on the farm who give their sweat and blood to this, man," he said, gesturing towards a few of said workers still weeding a patch of the field a bit further down. "Like, people doing their best not just for themselves but for everyone. You know?"

 

Pete didn't know. Not really. As far as he could remember, it had only been him and Van. Anyone else in his life had been incidental, just a temporary companion when they stopped by small trading posts. Most people they'd known were people they'd then later robbed. Not the best friendship fostering conditions. But this, this place was something else. He wasn't gonna steal from here, that was sure.

 

"Come, I'ma ask if they have extra."

 

"Extra veggies?" Pete asked doubtfully.

 

"Well, yeah," Sonny said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "For the small settlers who don't have no tilled ground or rain, they need us too."

 

"You sell 'em food? I thought camp was cramped."

 

Sonny shuffled on his feet awkwardly.

 

"I don't _sell_ it," he replied. "I give it. I mean, I'm not _allowed_ , technically, but sometimes there's more extra than you'd think, the dry stuff, beans and all. Just the veggies and fruit are rare. Kinda. Don't tell anyone I'm doing this."

 

Pete held up his hand to fist bump with Sonny in promise.

 

"Thanks man, I knew you were special."

 

 

Pete tossed around a long time before falling asleep that night. He was smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be a cue towards trans Sonny. I'm trying not to have him be too much of a token? Trying to put it there in the story in a way that fits, it'll be mentioned later as well, it's not just this one time, but yeah. Sonny is trans in every universe.


	6. The Wager

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina fixes Daniela's roof and shares what she's learned about Vanessa.

 

It was Nina who ended up fixing the hole in Daniela's roof, and just a couple days after the leaking had started. Better late than never.

 

"I'm so sorry!" Nina said as soon as she entered the room, getting to work immediately. "Dad told me about the hole the other day and I assumed he'd fixed it, but…"

 

But they both knew how much Kevin Rosario had to deal with already and some minor damage like this was probably not his top priority before just now in a camp falling from all parts.

 

"Of course," Daniela said, faked a smile for Nina's sake since none of this was her fault. "Please, go ahead."

 

Nina put down all sorts of tools on the bed, a welding torch, a hammer, some metal sheet and even more whose name Daniela didn't even know. And that was _fine_. Nina had her jurisdiction, Daniela had hers. Nina was by far the smartest person on camp, they all knew that, and Daniela was almost thankful that the roof was only being repaired now if it meant Nina was the one doing it. She leaned against the doorway and admired Nina at work.

 

"What a mess…" Nina muttered.

 

"Oye, I didn't do it, the rain did!"

 

Nina snorted. She grabbed another tool, began tearing the metal in a way Daniela didn't really understand, but they'd all learned to trust their little genius when she led a project. She knew what she was doing.

 

"Not that," she said. "Just… the camp in general. El Barrio is a mess. It's falling apart in front of us, you know."

 

Daniela hummed in agreement.

 

"I should touch a word or two to your father about it."

 

Nina gave her a look.

 

"Dad wouldn't…" She caught herself before finishing her thought. "I don't want to be disrespectful."

 

" _I_ do," Daniela teased. "Tell me what he wouldn't do."

 

Nina smiled, rolled her eyes. Daniela watched her motions. She was clearing up the hole in the roof to make the new plaque fit perfectly. All that standing on a chair from the inside. Daniela was more than a little impressed.

 

"You _know_ Dad is not lazy or anything like that. That's not what I mean."

 

Daniela nodded. She didn't appoint people at random or out of personal preference. Kevin Rosario was the head of the engineering and maintenance team because he'd always worked the hardest and was the most competent person for the job − for now. Who knew where Nina would end up?

 

"It's just that he…" She paused, cutting some bit of metal at a sharp angle, focused, and started talking again when she'd gotten it. "He'd much rather fix temporary individual issues than fix the system. How many gutters are gonna overflow till he sees the problem, you know…"

 

"But _you_ do."

 

It wasn't a question and Daniela saw on Nina's stern face that she didn't take it as one. She pulled down her welding glasses and started up the torch, and Daniela understood that the topic was now closed.

 

"So, what can you tell me about Vanessa?" She asked over the sound of metal being bent and shaped.

 

That brought a smile back to Nina's face.

 

"What do you want to know?"

 

"Do you like her?"

 

"I do, very much," Nina nodded, instantly. Good. "She's very nice. Did Abuela check on that wound, though? It looked serious."

 

Daniela chuckled.

 

"There is a battle of will still going on about that," she said. "Who knows who will come victorious?"

 

Nina hesitated before adding the next part.

 

"I don't know if this means anything, maybe she's just shy, but… she did seem, well, _nervous_ sharing information about herself."

 

"Really?" Daniela asked, frowning. She helped Nina down from the chair as she was just finished with the repairs. "This is beautiful work, Nina, muchas gracias. But, a little birdie told me you talked with her all day yesterday."

 

"De nada," Nina smiled, looking up at her handy work. "And yeah, we did, but she wasn't talking about herself, just, you know, stories about the outside…"

 

There was a melancholy to her words that Daniela knew all too well coming from her. One day, they would convince the Rosarios that their children had grown up and should be allowed to visit the outside for once in their damned life. Sadly, Daniela's authority on this camp stopped at personal relationships and she wouldn't feel it her place to tell Kevin and Camila how to raise their son and daughter.

 

"Anything weird about her?"

 

"Uh huh," Nina shook her head. "I mean, I don't think. Maybe a bit secretive, but I have a good feeling about her. She's… something. She's special."

 

"Alright. Thank you, mija. You're my best little birdie."

 

Daniela helped her pack her tools back and walked down the stairs with her.

 

"Thank you again," she told her, hugging her goodbye. "For the roof and the tour you gave her."

 

Nina left with a wave and a smile, back to her lab, and Daniela headed straight to her office where Claudia was tending to an impatient Vanessa's bandages.

 

"Just who I wanted to see," Daniela said. "Claudia, how is the wound?"

 

"It's _fine_ ," Vanessa answered Claudia could say anything. "I trained with that instructor this morning, Yesenia, and I almost won! I'm basically back to full health."

 

"Claudia?" Daniela asked again.

 

"Still critical. She needs rest, _which I have told her repeatedly._ "

 

She was staring at Vanessa when she said that, shaking her head in disapproval but there was already so much fondness there, like scolding a child who had eaten two apples instead of one, not like telling off a grown up girl who blatantly disrespected medical instructions. That was Claudia, finding love in her heart for everyone and everything, always. Daniela wasn't sure she'd ever reach that level of selflessness. Or that she wanted to.

 

"How long to heal?"

 

"It's early to tell," Claudia admitted. "But she's… strong."

 

"Hells yeah," Vanessa chimed in, shit-eating grin all over her face.

 

"She still shouldn't be out and about in her state, especially training."

 

Daniela sat down at her desk, her booted feet on the table. Vanessa looked at her defiantly.

 

"You heard the instructions," Daniela said simply.

 

"I… You can't just give me 'instructions'! I don't even live here!"

 

"Mmh, that reminds me, while we're on that subject, which quarters do you want to be assigned to when Claudia gives me permission to let you out of the hut?"

 

Vanessa glared incredulously.

 

"I'm only staying till I get better," she said with finality. "Then Pete and I go back on the roads. Basically tomorrow."

 

"Not tomorrow," Claudia commented. Vanessa didn't acknowledge her.

 

Daniela didn't like forcing people's hand through manipulation. She _loved_ it.

 

"I get it," she said, raising her hands apologetically. Vanessa eyed her suspiciously. "You don't feel capable."

 

Vanessa's glare deepened. Oh, she made this _so_ easy.

 

"I feel plenty capable," she said, words coming out slow and insistent.

 

"It's fine," Daniela insisted. "Our camp is a tight running operation. Not everyone is up to it. If there's no job you feel you'd be able do…"

 

"I could do some jobs," Vanessa cut her. "Hell, I could do them all, you know what I've been through on the roads all my life?!"

 

Oh, what a precious little feral cat they had here. Daniela felt like she understood what Nina meant when she swore she had a good feeling about Vanessa. From the other side of the hut, Claudia put her hand on Vanessa's shoulder, trying to calm her down, shaking her head at Daniela, but Vanessa shrugged her off.

 

"I could do anything!" She repeated. "I just don't wanna."

 

"Actually, you were right in the first place, I see it now," Daniela said. She knew she was being una cabrona. She didn't care. "You'll just get better, and then go back to the roads, I think that'd be better for everyone. Work on camp is pretty hard."

 

The way she clenched her little fists, Daniela wondered if she'd gone too far. If Vanessa saw right through this and was about to kick her ass − she looked like the kind of girl who would rather brawl with someone than settle an argument talking rationally. Daniela was also that kind of person, but maybe not at camp, maybe not when she was trying to recruit this wild thing.

 

"I could do anything! Just gimme any job, I'll do it good!"

 

"Mija, I'm just not sure I believe you, you'll have to prove it."

 

Vanessa stared at her straight in the eyes, determined and so _fierce_. She stood up abruptly to offer her fist to bump to settle the deal.

 

"I can do any job you throw at me," she said. "I'm as good as anyone here."

 

Daniela hesitated before raising her hand to close the wager.

 

"Any job I ask until we find the right one, no take back."

 

Vanessa's fist was hard against hers, as if she wanted to prove how strong she was by smashing Daniela's knuckles.

 

"Any job you ask, no take back," she repeated, a promise.

 

"Don't disappoint me," Daniela said in her most serious voice, then quickly she added, "You'll start on kitchen duty tomorrow, you're still sleeping here tonight, dismissed."

 

"You're on!" Vanessa said and started to walk away, stopping just short of the entrance. "Wait, did you just…"

 

"Dismissed," Daniela repeated a little louder, giving Vanessa her best wolf grin.

 

She heard her grumble on her way out. When she was gone, Daniela could feel Claudia's eyes boring through her without even looking her way.

 

"I know what you're gonna say," she said.

 

"Then I won't bother saying it," Claudia replied. "She is a _child_ , Daniela."

 

"Which is why she's going to be on easy duty to start with. What do you expect to go wrong, is she going to stab her coworkers with chopping knives?"

 

_Please do not let her stab her coworkers with chopping knives_ , she prayed.

 

"I don't approve," Claudia said, as if she expected Daniela to run after Vanessa and apologize for some blatant manipulation.

 

"Have some faith," Daniela asked. "And some patience, while we're at it. You know how to do that, right?"

 

Claudia frowned, but didn't add anything.

 

 

"She'll fit in just right, you'll see."


	7. The Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa helps a certain kitchen boy with cooking at the kitchen halls.

Life was always throwing shit at Usnavi. Not just the actual horrible stuff like his parents, but just the random messes like the fact that he had the face of a twelve-year-old even though he was twice as old, or that time he ended up tripping on his first delivery and spilling all the oranges Camila had trusted him with, or just this morning Sonny literally throwing a pillow in his face when he tried to wake him up. Usnavi was happy, for sure, but he wouldn't describe himself as very lucky.

 

"Shit," he said that morning in the kitchen hall. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

 

"Mmh?" Camila Rosario asked, sitting beside him.

 

"What? Nothin'! I said nothin'! There's, erm, there's someone coming."

 

_Someone_ , meaning the most beautiful woman in the world. Usnavi's legs began shaking all of their own accord. Suddenly his palms were sweaty and his throat dry and there she was, walking in like she'd founded the place and was its immortal goddess. _Vanessa_. He'd kept repeating the name in his mind for two days until it lost all meaning, and then he just had to close his eyes and he saw her and didn't need to think of anything else because all the meaning in the universe was there. Once, last night, he dared speak the name out loud and his aunt had grumbled and asked what he was talking about. He hadn't had the courage to say it again. And now he was in her presence again…

 

"Daniela told me you were coming," Señora Rosario said, standing up to meet Vanessa.

 

They shook hands.

 

"What's it I gotta do here?" Vanessa asked and the sound of her deep voice was as enchanting as he remembered.

 

"Today's breakfast is bread and venison from yesterday's big hunt, and some apple sauce. You'll help with that, Usnavi will show you around. Mijo, come and explain to Vanessa how it works, por favor."

 

Usnavi froze in place. He realized his mouth was gaping and shut it at once, and tried to scramble to his feet without looking like a fool. _Twenty-four years too late to avoid that_ , he thought. For the first time ever, Vanessa looked straight at him, even into his eyes, and she _smiled_. His heart leapt inside his chest, threatening to burst open.

 

"Yes!" He said, too loud, but his voice seemed to be only available in loud or off, and better not stay mute. Not that in his state it made much of a difference. "I'll help!"

 

"Good boy," Camila Rosario said.

 

When he was up to their level, she pinched his cheek and went back to work. Usnavi and Vanessa stared at each other for a few awkward seconds before both raised their hands, Usnavi to shake hers, Vanessa to fistbump. They realized their mistake, and each of them switched gesture. Usnavi chuckled nervously, sweating like a pig already despite the morning chill seeping through the building's large doorways. Vanessa settled for patting his chest a couple times, her smile turning into a tease. He did not know if he was the confident of the joke or the victim of it.

 

"You're Vanessa," he breathed out − _way to sound like a creep, weirdo_.

 

"Usnavi, right?" She asked. "Funny name."

 

"I'm a funny boy," he joked and wanted to kill himself instantly, but bless her, she snorted. It was short and breathless, barely a laugh at all, but it was just between him and her and that was already something.

 

"So, this the kitchen?"

 

He nodded and almost grabbed her hand to show her around, only restraining himself at the last moment. He pretended to scratch his side instead.

 

"Yeah, let me give you a tour."

 

A tour was an overstatement for sure. After showing her the ovens (ancient clay mountains that Camila cherished and said were the most beautiful out of all the settlements she'd ever known and she would be the expert on it considering she who did not grew up in El Barrio), the cold underground cellar where they kept the food that needed freezing with large cubes of ice they froze in winter and kept all year round, the pantry that used to be full to the brink but was still moderately well-off for a camp their size, the butcher's side hut and the large table where all the kitchen staff worked all day, there wasn't much more to add. His leg was fidgeting again and he could do nothing to stop it.

 

"It's… big," she said, staring up at the shelves with dry goods as high as the ceiling. "And how many people work here, like ten?"

 

"Seventeen. There's bunches of folks in camp," he said. "We need to be this many. Señora Rosario keeps us all busy."

 

She nodded. She looked like she was thinking about something far away from here, but Usnavi didn't want to ask and sound like an intruding jerk.

 

"So, how can I help?"

 

"We just gonna sit here, I'll show you."

 

He sat at the end of the table where no one was there to make fun of him and grabbed a basket of apples and two knives. He handed her one and immediately, she started playing with it, making it turn and turn between her fingers and he wondered how she didn't have all fingers cut off by now with this kind of game.

 

"We gonna peel and slice the apples. Kinda thin so it's faster, breakfast has to be ready to deliver two hours after sunrise otherwise we're late."

 

"On it," she said. When he started slicing, she just followed suit, imitating his moves, and even though her slices were thicker than Señora Rosario would have approved of, Usnavi nodded in encouragement.

 

Vanessa, it seemed, liked to work in silence. Grabbing an apple, slicing it, putting the slices in the bowl of water so they didn't get brown, grabbing another apple. Usnavi feared he was being far less productive than his usual, but how could he be when all he wanted to do was glance her way? Apple after apple, they worked together and he never wanted it to end, but of course, there were only so many apples in the world and in camp and soon she was slicing the last of them. She sighed heavily, stretching her arms above her head and he immediately looked away, so as to not stare because if he took just one glance, he wouldn't be able to tear his eyes away from her biceps and the way the loose overalls clung to her body when she was all stretched out.

 

"And we are _done_!" She said. "I've never prepped so much food in my life."

 

"What, you've never cooked?"

 

"I didn't say that," she retorted, as if she was offended that he'd suggest such a thing and he wanted to apologize but she gave an explanation before he could. "I just only ever cook for me and Petie, when it's my turn."

 

"Petie? … Oh, is he the boy who went on a course mission with Sonny and Jane yesterday?"

 

"Yep," she replied. "Without my permission, I might add, but I don't think Daniela cares about these things."

 

"Doña Daniela is…" He caught himself before risking finishing that sentence. "Well, she's the queen. She gives the orders."

 

"Mmh, yeah, I've noticed."

 

They looked at each other with a knowing smile, also looked away at the same time. He couldn't keep the smile off his face during the rest of breakfast preparations. Vanessa helped him make the sauce in their biggest pot that was as big as Sonny crouching down, pack the portions and Señora Camila even said she ought to go around El Barrio with him to deliver − Usnavi wanted to kiss his boss's cheeks to thank her, but didn't, so as to keep his head on.

 

Usually fast and efficient, Usnavi couldn't help but take his time with her. They talked, him more than her. He asked her if she liked camp and though she gave an answer, it was so cryptic he still couldn't tell for sure what her opinion of El Barrio was. In the barracks, Nina was sitting on the bench with a book in her hand, her finger keeping the page, but deep in conversation with Benny, who was leaning against the table beside her. Usnavi cleared his throat and Benny jumped from his position, getting at least a few feet of distance between him and Nina.

 

"Oh, it's you, man. Thanks."

 

"Thanks, Vanessa," Nina said as she handed her the portion.

 

Seeing Nina up on the surface was almost a rare occasion, it seemed. She was usually holed up either up her radio tower or down in the lab working on her clever projects. Glancing between her and Benny, Usnavi felt like he knew why she was having breakfast up here today.

 

"Are you gonna have breakfast with us?" Nina asked. "There's plenty of room if you want."

 

"No!" Usnavi said. "We're gonna eat together in the kitchens." His mouth had a way to blurt things out with zero input from his brain. "I mean, erm, I don't know. If you wanna…"

 

"Yeah, right, we'll let you be," Vanessa said. Usnavi noticed her eyes were going from Nina to Benny as well. So he wasn't the only one who'd picked up on that, he thought. Good. Probably meant there was some truth to it. "C'mon, Usnavi, let's go."

 

He was about to follow her out, thinking of something cool and smart he could tell her once they were outside, when Benny grabbed his arm and muttered right against his ear.

 

"You better hit that soon," he said. "Or you ain't got no skills."

 

"Man, you're gross!" Usnavi cried out and snatched his arm back, leaving a laughing Benny behind him.

 

The rest of the day went by with more than a few hitches. Not just trying to keep Vanessa's attention (which was a hell of a mess in and of itself and enough stress for a lifetime), although that too. Between doing his job and showing Vanessa the ropes, there was Benny's teasing that wasn't even just him popping in from time to time to wink at Usnavi (Wasn't Benny supposed to have work to do? Wasn't he part of the elite squad and responsible for everyone's safety?)and somehow, Usnavi was certain that the cheesy love songs Lincoln kept playing on the radio, with his constant comments about how beautiful it was to be young and in love, weren't unrelated to this either.

 

And yet it was the most beautiful day Usnavi had ever lived. Sure, he wasn't able to keep up conversation for very long and several times he wanted to bash his head into the wall for saying dumb things, but Vanessa didn't seem like she wanted to talk all that much, at least not all day long, and they'd spent most of the day simply sitting next to each other, working in silence together. And he hadn't even blurted out that he loved her even once, which was the biggest win in his books. At night, they even hung out at the healing hut with Abuela Claudia and Daniela wasn't even there to make fun of him − he could handle Benny but Daniela was a whole other level of teasing.

 

He went to bed exhausted from being nervous all day, but happier than he had ever felt as well.

 

"I heard someone's been a fool all day," someone said into his ear and his whole body jerked from the startle.

 

"Tía, I was sleepin'!" He moaned, shoving his head back into his pillow.

 

"I know. Also, I don't blame you," Jane said, mussing up his hair, making him groan even louder. "Vanessa's cute as a button."

 

He pretended to be asleep until she went to bed, but in truth, he was still grinning from ear to ear.

 

 

When Camila Rosario came and asked him if Vanessa had been a good kitchen girl the next morning, he answered that she'd been the best he'd ever seen. He was only lying about the cooking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially this fic was going to be only a Vansnavi fic, I just added the other plotlines to it because I felt that, if I'm gonna be telling Vanessa's story, why not Nina's as well, and why not add Sonny/Pete to the bunch to make it all fit together? But yeah, there is gonna be hella Vansnavi in this. I don't care.


	8. The Genius Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete tries out a few different jobs on camp and catches up with Vanessa.

 

The following week, Daniela assigned Pete and Vanessa to different jobs every day, testing out their abilities. After the first day out with Sonny and Jane, the rest of the week had been a series of interesting missions inside camp. For the first time in forever, Pete was spending his days _not_ struggling to survive and it felt amazing.

 

There'd been that day with the lumberjack team out in the dry forest south of camp, which admittedly had been a lot of fun. Pete was not used to cutting wood all that much − he and Vanessa generally just gathered whatever branches they found dead on the ground, for sake of rapidity and not leaving traces behind them − but he quickly got the hang of it. The woods were huge, bigger than they had any right to be. He wondered how many travelers got lost there, never to get back. Thank god their team had a guide who knew these woods well, as she had grown up in the forest with her family before ending up in El Barrio. Camp was full of people like her who came to live there later in life, he'd found. He wondered where he fit with that.

 

The fishing team had been a completely different experience. There, Pete could shine in all his experience as a scrappy young traveler who knew much about the world. He knew the best spots in a river and the best way to lure the fish near and the best baits. So far in his life, those skills had never really seemed like a big deal. He'd learned everything he knew from Vanessa and the two of them always fished to survive when they had to. Here, the fishers simply did their job because they had to do _something_ to help camp, but he didn't think that the camp dwellers had ever really known real hunger. They were by the nature of their experience less efficient than him.

 

That changed the way he saw camp. The next assignment, to the kitchens, made him realize how wasteful El Barrio could be. For a camp that claimed to be on the brink of extinction, they really could not handle resources properly. The problem, he thought, was that they still managed things as if they were in opulence, and not as if they were in dire need of every resource they had, be it for their own consumption or for trade. There was excess, but they didn't seem to notice it and everything was left to go to waste. He made the same observation in the clothiers' house, in maintenance work, with the butchers, everywhere he worked.

 

He said nothing. It wasn't his place to judge the settlement that was so kindly giving him food and board. Still, he thought, it must be easier for a stranger to notice the dents in the way camp worked. A bit of distance, less attachment to the ways and customs of El Barrio. Maybe there was a way for this camp to find a new glory, a new revival.

 

One morning, Sonny joined him for breakfast again. They'd made a habit of that, somehow, eating together in the halls near the central square and though Pete wished Vanessa would have joined him more often, he was beyond glad for Sonny's company. They'd clicked well on that first mission out there and he was happy to have a friend for the time that he was still staying in camp.

 

"I got a business proposition to throw your way," Sonny said as soon as his butt touched the wooden bench.

 

He immediately grabbed a piece of pork jerky from Pete's plate and chewed on it. Pete stared and Sonny gestured to his mouth apologetically, trying to swallow as fast as he could, before explaining himself.

 

"So, you're a good person, right?"

 

Pete thought of the robberies and the petty thefts and that one time Vanessa stole a man's pet ferret and he suddenly felt a little queasy. He gulped and nodded. Lying didn't suit him, but he wasn't bad at it.

 

"Sure."

 

Sonny leaned closer. His voice was down to a whisper. Pete could see the way his curls were crushed by his hat, the shape of his brow, of his jaw. He blinked and gestured for Sonny to keep talking.

 

"You and me, we could save 'em settlements."

 

"What settlements?"

 

"You know!" Sonny gesticulated, pointing at the empty space around him. "The settlements near El Barrio, you seen them the other day."

 

They had walked by a few much smaller camps that were in a much more pitiful state than El Barrio still.

 

"Save them how?" He asked dubiously.

 

"Like, you know I been collectin' the extra veggies and all." Pete nodded. "You should help me. You're working everywhere now, you must have found other extra too, right? You and I, we have to help them."

 

"Why?" Pete asked before he could stop himself.

 

Sonny looked at him appalled.

 

"They're _hungry_ ," he said plainly. "And _cold_. You know it's raining all the time down south? Mamá says we should try and recruit them for El Barrio, but…"

 

"That sounds like a good idea," Pete said slowly, carefully.

 

Wrong thing to say, he realized immediately.

 

" _No, it's not_ ," Sonny insisted. "I mean, sure, it kind of is, but why not just give these camps a real chance, ya know? Help 'em build themselves, and then maybe if some people wanna come, then they come, but at least it wouldn't be just because their place sucked?"

 

He was looking at Pete expectantly. Pete felt caught out of the blue, unsure what Sonny even wanted him to say, but he knew what he _didn't_ want him to say.

 

"Sure," he shrugged.

 

"Yes!" Sonny clenched his fist in victory, then offered it for Pete to bump. "Man, I can't wait to get to it, I have so many…"

 

"Yo, Son'!" Jane called out from the door, her frizzy hair sticky with rain. "We're leaving."

 

"Gotta run," Sonny said, grabbing some more jerky from Pete's plate before running. "See ya!"

 

He watched Sonny walk away, his arm around his mother's waist, and something was tugging inside him. Suddenly he did not want to be on the roads with Vanessa again. He did not want that at all.

 

The last day of the week, finally, he got to work on the same shift as her as watchers on the walls, looking at the horizon for signs of other newcomers. And to think that just a few days ago, they'd been the two tiny dots on the distance… He swallowed and pushed the thought away.

 

"You had a good week?" Vanessa asked.

 

He nodded. He was growing fonder of El Barrio every day spent here.

 

"Been having a great time," he said. "I made a…"

 

"A little friend," she cut him, "I know."

 

Eyes on the thin line at the end of the visible world, they were silent for a while. Pete didn't know what to make of what this week had meant to him, but he also knew that Vanessa wouldn't necessarily be of any help either. She understood a blade in her hand, rifle on her back, but would she understand if he started talking about wanting to find his purpose in life? The very thought sounded ridiculous to him too.

 

"His name's Sonny," he finally said, something neutral.

 

" _Usnavi's cousin?_ " She blurted out at once.

 

He stared at her in surprise. It wasn't like Vanessa to get too attached to random people to the point of knowing their family status. He nodded cautiously.

 

"Why, you know him?"

 

"Nope," she said just as fast as she'd made her first mistake. "Not me. Just heard their names around. Claudia knows them."

 

He made a mental note of asking Sonny about that later, all the more when she promptly changed the topic away from a certain Usnavi.

 

"You look too skinny," she said. "You should eat more. There's cashew nuts in the healing hut, found them hidden under the medicine cupboard, I think they're Daniela's but I can get them for you if you want 'em."

 

"Van, I always look skinny," he rolled his eyes. "I don't need you to steal anything for me. How's the wound?"

 

She paused, palmed her side, and she didn't even wince − or didn't even pretend she wasn't wincing.

 

"Better," she said. "Good, even. Claudia took off some stitches yesterday. I'm… I'm good."

 

Pete braced himself and asked the question he'd been fearing to even think of. Dive right in. Do what you gotta do.

 

"Means we gotta leave soon, right?"

 

Vanessa would not meet his eyes to save her life, resolutely staring ahead at the wasteland. What a strange place it was, this patch of land, Pete thought, not for the first time. All desert and rocks and spare grass in the north, all woods and trees as big as ancient churches in the south. All dry and hot most of the day, and yet rain could come pouring and drowning everything and be gone the next hour. He wondered what a storm looked like in this part of the wasteland. He wondered if they'd stay long enough to see it.

 

"About that…" She said.

 

_She's gonna tell me we're leaving,_ he thought. _She's gonna grab my arm and tell me we're leaving camp right now_.

 

"Yeah?" He asked and his voice sounded too rough, too deep, but she didn't seem to notice.

 

"How about we stay a bit longer?" She said too fast, in one breath.

 

" _What?_ "

 

"We should stay." Her voice was painfully controlled, he heard. "Not go back to the roads. We should stay here."

 

"You think?"

 

"Yeah!" She cried out. More calmly, "Yes. It's a great settlement here, you know? And there are great people, and you've made a lot of friends."

 

_I've made_ one _friend._

 

"Yeah," he breathed out.

 

"And what are we gonna do?" She rambled on, chipping away at the wooden rempart with her machete. "Just go back to our old job and steal people's homes?" She snorted. "Let's stay here. Help 'em build something."

 

"I wanna stay," he replied. Oh, how much he wanted to stay. "Let's stay here."

 

Vanessa's face broke into a grin, the kind that warmed the heart and made you feel like you had a home after all.

 

"That's good!" She said.

 

"Yeah, I think so," Pete said awkwardly.

 

 

She punched his shoulder, but the soft kind of punch, playful enough that he knew it meant she was happy for the both of them, and then, as they stood on the top of the walls watching the horizon in the falling sun, she rested her head against him. He'd be taller than her soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter sucks, but I did my best, I'm real sorry. Next chapter is the barrio's best.


	9. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina has big ideas for the future of camp and presents them to her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the "When You're Home" of chapters of this fic, be warned.

 

_Straighten the spine. Put on a smiling face. You can do this. Just breathe._ Nina pushed the door to her father's office open.

 

"Dad."

 

At his table, he was busy typing, not lifting his eyes to greet her. Dang it. She had planned to catch him in his down time, but then, she should have guessed that he was the kind of person who used his leisure time to work some more. Like father, like daughter.

 

"Make it quick, muñeca, Dorado announced another downpour tonight and I need to check the roofs before the end of the afternoon."

 

She braced herself. She had her files, her plans, all her research from the past months, all done, and she only needed the approval from the head of maintenance before presenting the project to Daniela. Luckily, that happened to be her father. What could go wrong?

 

"I'm actually here about that," she said.

 

Her voice was rushed but authoritative enough, or so she liked to believe, at least. She would need to be more than a little persuasive for this. Kevin Rosario looked up from the terminal he'd been working on, brows quizzical.

 

"About the roofs?"

 

"Not just the roofs," she said. She laid down her outlined plan on the desk, five pages in its shortest most condensed form. "About the whole camp."

 

She had worked on this for too long, everything about the plan was too far advanced to fail her now. When she dared look, her father was eying her and then the paper, waiting for an explanation.

 

"We have to build it from scratch again," she said plainly.

 

She gave him time to process what she was saying − time that he didn't take at all, instead replying immediately.

 

"Nina, we don't have the resources."

 

"You didn't even _look_!" She could feel her temper rising and mentally kept it in check. She would _not_ get angry, she would _not_ let his refusal phase her, she'd promised that to herself. "I listed all the…"

 

"Doña Daniela won't approve," he added.

 

_As if you knew what went on in Daniela's mind,_ Nina thought. _I'm closer to her than you, and by far._

 

"Look, Dad," she said, and she grabbed his hand on the table. He looked down at their joined hands, then back at her, his gaze a little softened. "I've worked on this really hard. Can you just listen?"

 

He stared into her eyes for a few long seconds and she wondered what he was trying to find there, but then he nodded and with an in like this, she could shine. This part, she had rehearsed and planned as well.

 

"With the help of local workforce, I think we could be able to break down El Barrio each sector at a time and rebuild it much stronger with imported designs. Here are the layouts I drew of…"

 

And on and on she went. This was her dream, this was what could carve her name in the history of their settlement. Nina Rosario, the Rebuilder. Nina Rosario, who saved El Barrio from tumbling down onto itself. The road would be long, for sure. Some buildings, she wanted to fashion after structures from far away settlements she'd heard much about in books or even from the City and its buildings still standing from before the Explosions. Others ought to be rebuild in stones and clay bricks instead of the old rusty metal still barely standing from the foundation of camp. She had planned out all the details, and what she hadn't, she would when she was allowed to visit the library in the City many miles from here. This all concept was completely fool-proof and there was no reason for her dad to refuse, no good reason at all. She finished her presentation and waited for her dad's approval.

 

"I am not letting you on the outside," he said, as if that was the end of that.

 

"This again…" She muttered between her teeth. "You're treating me like a…"

 

"You _are_ a child," he cut her. "Nina, we are not having this conversation today again."

 

"Yes we are! I can't stay my whole life cloistered in here, Dad, you know I'll end up outside at some point or another."

 

"Not if your mother and I have a word to say," he said sharply. "We're so proud of you, Nina. You're the best on this team, you're so much smarter than me, but this whole plan…"

 

"What about it?" She asked and she knew her voice had an edge to it, but what could she do about it? She'd never liked being treated as a child, much less now that she was twenty-three and a child by no definition except her parents'.

 

"We'll see after I check the roofs," he said, handing her the sheets back.

 

Somehow, she was sure he hadn't looked at them properly even once. He left her alone in his office and Nina knew that this meant the plan was not going to get done, not under his command.

 

She walked down the steps of the tower slowly, painfully aware of her failure. She kept re-reading the outline of her plan, looking for whatever it was that made her dad refuse her, so much so that she bumped into someone without even noticing him coming.

 

"Yo, cabrón, watch where you… Oh, it's you!"

 

Sonny gave her his widest grin that she tried to repay, but even she could feel that her face didn't exactly obey as she wanted.

 

"You good?" He asked, suddenly worried. "You look… I dunno, we should talk about it, right? Just you and me?"

 

He was leaning against the door, almost blocking her way, and his smile was flirty, though genuine.

 

In a way, this did lighten her mood just a little bit, the way Sonny barely even tried to hide his crush on her that he'd had for as long as she could remember. Not that there'd ever be anything there, of course, not with a sixteen year old − despite what her father may claim, she was _not_ a child herself.

 

"Aren't you the cutest…"

 

"You need to open up that wounded soul to Sonny!" He begged, his dark eyes large and containing all the kindness she could imagine.

 

"It's tempting…"

 

"C'mon, I'll get you those plum cakes you like, I'm sure I can find some in the kitchens for ya…"

 

She was about to accept and follow his steps when their way was cut by a much, much better alternative.

 

"Where you headin'?" Benny asked.

 

He was dressed in full leather armor, back from a mission with the elite squad Daniela had mentioned the night before. Pistol at his hip, a hat on his head, he looked more impressive than she'd ever seen him.

 

"That's none of yo…"

 

"We're not going anywhere," Nina replied, cutting Sonny. "There's no need. Thank you, Sonny."

 

Sonny's face fell as if the sun had been canceled.

 

"But I thought…"

 

"Yo, she said no," Benny said, crossing his arms.

 

Nina bit her lip so hard it stung. Those arms of his, in that armor, the way he exuded confidence and power. She'd always admired Benny, even as a little girl, back when he was still a messenger boy, back before Daniela recruited him on her special squad. Nina had always seen something special in him and she had always been right.

 

Sonny was frowning, somewhere between frustration and sorrow, but then he shook his head.

 

"It's fine," he said bitterly. "Totally _fine_."

 

"Sonny…" She tried to comfort him but he shrugged her hand off his shoulder.

 

" _This_ ," he said, gesturing to his whole body. "You will never get. It's your loss!"

 

And he sprinted away before she could add anything. Benny and Nina shared a glance and chuckled at the same time. Nina wasn't too worried about him. Sixteen years of unrequited crush, Sonny must have become used to this, probably. She knew he'd find a listening ear one way or another and she'd spend dinner in the common halls with him to apologize.

 

"So, did you…"

 

"I was going to…"

 

They'd both talked at the same time. Benny smiled, gestured for her to go ahead first. She reorganized her stack of pages in her hands, cleared her throat.

 

"I was going to go to the lab," she said, "but I'm not sure I really want to be working right now, so I might just head back up the tower…"

 

"Oh," he said and she could hear disappointment in his voice. "You alright?"

 

He lifted up his hand, just barely, but dropped it before doing anything. She wondered briefly what the hand might feel like in hers, but she wasn't about to say that to anyone, much less directly to him. Benny was her secret, had always been.

 

"Yeah, I'm… fine," she sighed. "I'll just… I don't know what I'll do."

 

He seemed to hesitate before asking the next thing.

 

"Do you need company?"

 

" _Yes_." God yes, she did.

 

The top room of the radio tower was small, probably too small for two. It was nothing more than a little closet that Nina had turned into her special spot. Bookshelf on the right, armchair on the left, and she was even lucky enough to have windows on both sides of the room from where you saw every part of camp. She stepped inside, dropping the papers on the old leather armchair before immediately leaning against the window to get fresh air and be soothed by the view. Behind her, Benny walked in slowly and she told herself that she had never let anyone up here before. First times were something, for sure.

 

"Nina, this is awesome," he said with wonder, taking everything in.

 

It wasn't much, but neither was the rest of camp and comparatively, she liked to think that her tiny little closet was on the upper side of any measure of comfort. He leaned on the window sill next to her and for a second their arms were brushing. He smiled at her. They kept the looking up just a few seconds more than was appropriate. Nina turned back to the sky.

 

"I used to think that I could touch the clouds if I reached far enough through the window," she said. "Mom got so mad when she caught me leaning out."

 

His eyes were still heavy on her, she could sense them, and she felt very aware of how close they were standing, but he just shrugged, dashing out perfect teeth with his cheeky smile.

 

"If you could catch 'em clouds that make it rain all the time over camp," he joked, "We'd all appreciate it."

 

" _Right_ ," she said, rolling her eyes, and they both laughed before turning back to the view down to the settlement. "I used to think there wasn't anything I couldn't do."

 

"There _isn't_ anything you can't do, Nina," he replied, "Why would you believe otherwise?"

 

"Well, I can't convince my dad of anything," she said and fell into the armchair dramatically, shoving the papers that contained all her hopes and dreams into his hands.

 

He began reading through the sheets, eyes skipping across the page.

 

"Nina, this is really good," he said seriously. "How'd you come up with ideas like this?!"

 

"Well, it doesn't matter," she sighed. "Dad said no."

 

He looked straight at her, as if he was trying to figure something out, then gestured for her to get back up, grabbing her hands and making her lean back out the window to watch the outside. Suddenly his hand was at the small of her back and he was pointing with the other.

 

"Look down," he said, "And tell me what you see."

 

Her brows knitted quizzically. She _knew_ camp. She knew every part of it, to the last speck of rust, the last cog. She'd worked on it her whole life. And Benny knew that.

 

"I see a camp that needs to be rebuilt," she answered with no small amount of sadness.

 

"Let me tell you what I see," he said, a warm smile on the lips still and she wanted to listen to every last word he'd say.

 

She nodded. He began pointing to specific points.

 

"The common halls," he said.

 

"The walls are starting to rot, it'll be gone before we know it…"

 

"It's where you and me and Usnavi learned how to read," he said, non-fazed. "Remember? Usnavi was trying his best, you were a genius and taught better than even the teacher, and I was trying to figure out a way to get out of the lessons to go play."

 

If she thought long enough, Nina believed that maybe, she remembered.

 

"Or the showers," he said, pointing. "When you wanted to take it apart in pieces and put it back together, remember? I just wanted to cool down because it was hot, but we both got caught all the same. My ass still hurting from that whooping."

 

She almost smiled then. She did remember that part. Her butt also hurt from that day, but it'd also been the day her dad decided to teach her everything he knew about plumbing.

 

"And Abuela Claudia's healing hut," he added. "You used to sit by her side all the time and she taught you medical stuff, and everyone was hoping to get hurt just so you'd be their little doctor…" A tint of guilt in his smile. "Or maybe that was just me."

 

She felt her cheeks warm up at that, but he began talking again before she could comment on it. Building by building, he had an anecdote for all of them. And all anecdotes seem to also contain some sort of praise towards her and the weight of it all was starting to be heavy.

 

"You see a camp in need of reparations, I see a camp that loves you and values you," he concluded.

 

She stared at him, biting on her lip. He was so close, and yet so far.

 

"Don't say that," she muttered.

 

His thumb brushed circles on her lower back and she hated herself. She did not deserve this. She did not deserve any of this today.

 

"What do you mean?" He asked and his voice was low and so soft, like she'd never heard it.

 

"This is all in vain, Benny!" she cried out. "Who cares what the people think about me if the camp crumbles down because I couldn't get it repaired? Daniela chose me to work on the engineering team and I'm letting her down, I'm letting everyone down and no one even _sees_ that camp is a mess, and I want to see the outside, I need it, but I can't even convince my dad and I'm letting everyone down…"

 

She realized she was rambling and stopped talking.

 

"Nina…"

 

She didn't dare look at him, for fear of seeing disappointment in his eyes again. That would have been more than she could handle.

 

"I'm so proud of you all the time. Always have been," he said.

 

That was a thought in and of itself, it seemed, sufficient, but he kept on.

 

"You'll do this," he promised. "You'll get this done, everything on that list, and camp will be more beautiful than ever."

 

"Benny, I…"

 

"No, listen to me," he insisted. "You're going to do this. You're gonna go to the outside, your dad can't control you all your life. You'll go wherever you want, and you'll come back and rebuild El Barrio and no one will be surprised because we all believe in you. You _can_ reach for the sky, Nina."

 

 

Nina's heart was leaping in her chest and though people did love her throughout the settlement, she'd never felt supported like she was by Benny now. He took her hand in his, palm against hers, and his skin was warm in the still morning chill. With him by her side, it felt all too easy to pretend nothing was out of reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a day late. I'm not American but almost all my friends are and I was too terrified to be able to write much. All of you, I love you and I care about you and you're in my thoughts.


	10. The Orchards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa accompanies Usnavi on a mission out in the wasteland. Sparks are flying.

The outer orchards were ripe onto harvest, the rangers had said last night when they'd gotten back from their scouting mission. Señora Rosario had sent a small team from the kitchen staff to gather batches of fruit to store in camp. Of course, there was Usnavi, who always had the bad luck of being volunteered on such missions, and Juan the ice master, and Mara and Morty who could not stop fighting when they should be working. And then there was Vanessa.

 

Abuela Claudia had told Usnavi that Vanessa was going to stay in camp for now. He wanted to believe, he wanted her to become part of El Barrio so much, to be part of his home. These days, she'd been working all over the camp, here and there as newcomers always did, and he wanted Daniela to settle on the ideal job for her so he could comfort himself with the notion that she wasn't going to leave any time soon. Maybe then he could pack some really cool breakfast rations and be sure to pass through the dining halls of her jurisdiction and not have to guess where she was every morning. He wanted all that very much.

 

He'd been so anxious when he woke up to Camila Rosario ordering him to leave for the gathering mission. The time of the year was coming when they needed to refill the pantry and that meant going on the outside. For lack of space, not all orchards were contained within camp. There were a few trees just outside the walls but the best of them, the ones he had been sent to gather from today, those were so far from camp they needed to make a special expedition of it to organize a full harvest every so often. They were going to spend the night there in the small cabin by the orchard and make the trip back the next day. Being so far from camp for two days at a time meant that they needed security − the kitchen staff might have been great at cooking but certainly not at defending themselves out in the wasteland, not any of them and certainly not Usnavi. But with Vanessa protecting them, he wasn't anxious at all.

 

"So, erm," he tried to engage conversation with her as they walked through the sandy part of this portion of the wasteland. "Do you like security work? I seen you on the walls the other day."

 

She looked at him. He liked when she did, loved her eyes. They were dark, as deep as the night sky, pierced through him. How things had changed since the first time he'd seen her two weeks ago. Now, he always felt perfectly visible when she looked at him, talked to him. He felt alive. She listened to him, dear Lord, who could tell why? But she did.

 

"Security's fine," she said. "I think I'm good at it. Daniela needs a lot of convincing, though."

 

"Doña Daniela's a tough queen," he laughed. "But she'll find the right job for you. She did for me."

 

"She's found the perfect one for Petie," she said, suddenly wistful. "He likes those courier missions. I mean, specifically, he likes your cousin, by the way, he never shuts up about him."

 

The way was long to the orchards, but it seemed to pass far too quickly to Usnavi's tastes, maybe because he got to spend it with Vanessa at the back of the group, her careful eyes watching for danger that thankfully did not come. Soon they walked by Lone Larry's old shack, the mid-point of their journey.

 

"You never said, what were you doing before finding El Barrio?" Usnavi asked. "Nina told me you…"

 

He trailed off when he realized Vanessa had stopped walking by his side. A few steps behind, she was standing still, lost that other world of her thoughts, it seemed, her eyes staring into the vacant distance.

 

"Vanessa?"

 

She came back to her senses at once, instinctively clutching her left side, the side that was still hurting, eyes unfocused until she found his. There was a strange look to her that he realized was _fear_.

 

"Vanessa, are you…"

 

"I'm fine," she replied curtly, pushing past him to catch up with the rest of the group. "C'mon, hurry up, we gotta get there before noon, Señora Rosario's orders."

 

"Oh, erm, yes, of course."

 

He tried to initiate conversation after that, but she seemed out of it, unbothered. He didn't try again.

 

When they arrived to the orchards, she stood by, watching over the small patch of land that contained their many trees out here in the wasteland. Other smaller settlements made use of it as well, but the fruit were growing so plentiful that you barely noticed their borrowing. Usnavi put down his basket, started his work. He found a beautiful peach, rubbed it clean and handed it to Vanessa.

 

"Strong fighters deserve the best snacks in exchange for their protection," he said reverently, a mocking bow of the head in deference.

 

She snorted, but took the peach anyways and bit into it. Her whole face changed.

 

"This is so good!"

 

She devoured the rest of it and Usnavi had to shake his head to stop himself from staring.

 

"Yeah," he said. "These were planted before I was born, actually my… erm, my dad helped plant them."

 

"Mmh," she nodded. "He knows his stuff. This peach is delicious."

 

"Knew," Usnavi said, and maybe it was bold of him to expose himself, most likely she didn't care about the tragic backstory of a boring kitchen boy, but he couldn't help sharing the truth. "He's dead. And my mom."

 

"You're an orphan?" She asked and her voice contained all the respect he could have hoped for in response to this particular information. "Me… erm, me too."

 

They stared at each other for a few long seconds and he wondered if he should reach out, if either of them should offer more support to each other than a confession, but she didn't move and neither did he. It was one of the only things he knew about her, he realized. He wanted to know so many more.

 

"Coño, that's my tree!" Morty hollered at his sister from the other side of the orchard, by the plum tree where the twins were at work.

 

Vanessa startled and glared at the culprit, who was entering a fight with Mara and as far as Usnavi was concerned, he couldn't hear anything and wouldn't intervene. These two fought like cat and dog and in his experience it was just better to avoid acknowledging them. But Vanessa wasn't an avoiding person like him, of course she wasn't.

 

"Yo, cabrones, you gonna attract mutant birds if you keep at that!" She yelled out at them. "Se calman o los calmo."

 

_She spoke Spanish_. That too, Usnavi did not know about her before today. This was probably the best information he could ever find out about her.

 

"You're Latina?!" he blurted out.

 

He ought not to be surprised, with her beautiful brown skin and how she never looked confused by the Spanglish everyone used around camp, and how everything about her was perfect. She nodded.

 

"Vanessa Otilia García's my full name," she said with a flawless accent and Usnavi fell in love all over again.

 

"Usnavi De la Vega," he said and hoped his smile didn't look too smitten.

 

He climbed on the carefully placed boulder by the tree to get to work. The crops were ripe and beautifully grown this year. Señora Rosario would be happy.

 

"You never said," he commented. "That you were Latina, I mean."

 

"Maybe you never asked," she smirked.

 

He laughed, picked the peaches, delicately put them down in his lined basket.

 

"And that boy too?"

 

"That boy's name is Pete," she said, like she wanted to scold him but couldn't bring herself to. "And I don't know. He was three when I… When I met him."

 

Usnavi nodded.

 

"Well, it's destiny you found El Barrio," he said. "We're all Latinos, almost all."

 

"Destiny, huh?"

 

She looked pensive, but suddenly worried and she barely nodded his way for him to understand an urgent situation was coming. She grabbed the rifle at her back, he ducked, and she shot down the bird that had been about to attack him, surely. One shot, two, a few bullets went through it. He was scared to look back, just staring up at Vanessa, his whole body flat on the floor until finally, she gave him a thumb up. His heart was drumming when he dared to glance at the fallen beast behind him.

 

In a book from before the Explosions that Nina used to read from all the time, he had seen that birds used to be as small as a fist, the biggest ones only the size of a small dog. When he looked at that eagle, he wondered how that had ever been possible. This one was as big as Sonny, just about, and covered in its own blood. Vanessa had not been gentle. He winced when he saw the size of its claws and beak and he wanted to cry in relief. He rubbed his sweaty forehead, adrenaline still running through him.

 

"You alright?" Vanessa asked, strapping the rifle back in her back.

 

He swallowed thickly. He could not look away from the mutant bird. Vanessa put a cautious palm on his shoulder, and on a spur, because he'd been so afraid, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, probably too tight, burying his face in her neck.

 

"There, there," she patted his back, and there was a tease to her voice but he didn't care one bit. He was alive.

 

Those were the risks of missions on the outside. Never his favorite thing, but he did his job and he did it right. Camp was so much safer. He wondered how anyone could ever want to leave its walls.

 

"Thank you," he let out breathlessly.

 

"Security, right?" Vanessa said. "Daniela better not say I'm not capable after this."

 

The stress of this early encounter was soon soothed by a perfectly peaceful afternoon and evening. At night, Juan got out a pan, built a fire and they ate plum sauce on bread. It felt like a special occasion, a birthday or holiday, and Vanessa smiled so bright when Usnavi gave her the best slice and another peach. She even rejoiced them with a story about the City, the only one among them who had ever been there. At night, they all slept in the cabin by the orchard. Vanessa took the first watch and if Usnavi fell asleep watching her and feeling comforted by the fact that his safety rested in her hands, then that'd be his secret to keep.

 

When he woke up, Mara was standing watch by the door, hand on the gun at her waist, even though he knew for a fact she had no more idea how to use it than he did. Vanessa was curled up in a ball under a thin blanket beside him, her weapons by her head, easy to access if she were to wake up and need them. A loose strand of her hair was twitching with every breath and he wanted to tuck it behind her ear, but kept his hands to himself and just lay there watching her until she woke up.

 

After working all morning again, filling up every basket they had before the next harvest, they set course for camp again, much slower this time. They passed the same old shack this way as well and Usnavi noticed again how Vanessa gripped her side and was much less willing to relax and keep chatting, but he didn't want to make her think he was judging her or thinking her weak, so he said nothing this time around.

 

Back in camp, he was summoned by Doña Daniela as soon as he set foot in the kitchen. He left his baskets with the rest of the staff and headed for the healing hut.

 

Carla was present, as she often was. While every other person in camp had an assigned job and kept to it, Carla was allowed to wander around jurisdictions, to help wherever she felt most like it. Often, he enjoyed her company by the kitchen, but she was also making herself useful elsewhere, with her brothers by the farming sector, helping out the clothiers, or assisting Abuela Claudia here in the healing hut (though she wasn't here right now) where she also chatted with Doña Daniela all she wanted.

 

"Come in," Daniela ordered. "And take a seat."

 

He gulped and sat down on one of the beds close to her desk. She was sitting as she always was, confidently, boots on the table, and he felt all sweaty.

 

"Am I in trouble?" He asked, his voice tiny and impressed.

 

Daniela smirked, her face impassible to the truth.

 

"Are you?" She asked.

 

Carla laughed and snapped Daniela's arm.

 

"Dani, don't, you'll scare him!"

 

Daniela smiled at her, as if scaring him was exactly her plan, but nodded.

 

"So, about Vanessa," she said instead.

 

His blood turned to chill.

 

"I ain't doing anything shady!" He cried out at once. "We've only been just talkin', maybe a lot, but she didn't say to shut up, I haven't done nothing wrong!"

 

Daniela and Carla glanced at each other immediately, a smile curling up their lips, and Usnavi felt like a tiny little boy when they turned back to him, as if they were going to eat him up.

 

"Oh, Usnavi…" Carla said with kindness, but Daniela shook her head.

 

"I meant to ask if you've got anything to report back on her skills in combat."

 

"Oh," Usnavi said, suddenly embarrassed.

 

"But we will definitely be discussing your 'just talking' with Vanessa later," she said with a wolfish grin. "For now, just tell me if she did a good job on your mission."

 

"She was amazing!" He sighed out. "We were talking but then I saw she was worried and there was a _bird_ behind me, an actual mutant bird, but she just shot it down and killed it dead and saved me."

 

Even now, he was still impressed by her, heart full of pride and wonder.

 

"No funny business then?" Daniela asked.

 

"What? No, of course not, why would she… Nothing funny at all."

 

"Bueno, that's good to hear. How was harvest?"

 

"Very good, the apples were a bit hard but the peaches are just on time. Juan wants to freeze a few batches downstairs."

 

"Excellent, let him do just that."

 

She nodded and he was about to make his exit when she tutted and made him sit back down.

 

 

"Now tell me exactly what you and Vanessa have been talking about so much."


	11. The Start-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny's project to help smaller settlements is starting to take shape.

 

Pete was starting to feel pretty damn good around camp. There was some level of comfort here that he had never experienced in his life, however hard Vanessa and him fought to keep themselves alive. He woke up in the morning in the youth dormitories that he shared with a couple dozens other people his age, and breakfast was delivered right to them, usually by Sonny's cousin, who for some reason didn't seem to love him all that much − Pete was non-fazed by that, used to being mistrusted, it was the positive treatment by so many others that surprised him. He had access to fresh and clean water in the shared showers and it was the biggest relief in the world to wash away all the grime and stress of the day under the hard cold spray of the shower. This was far from washing up in whatever somewhat-clean stream they could find out in the wasteland.

 

And then there was the fact that he had a friend, maybe for the first time, because maybe Vanessa was family and that was quite a bit different from having a friend. Sonny and Pete ate together, worked together, at night they relaxed together in the common halls with Lincoln Rosario's choice music blasting through the radio and sipping some fresh juice the kitchen staff made, never something Pete had had before. Usually, Sonny's mother was never far away, so protective of her son, so close to him, but then there were those other times when she wasn't with him. Pete preferred those moments. To Sonny, it didn't seem to make a difference.

 

Pete admired that, how Sonny was exactly the same person no matter who he was around. How authentic he was, like everything he was could be read right on his face and nothing was hidden. Pete wasn't like that. He was someone when he was around Vanessa, but that someone disappeared back inside him when he was with anyone else. He had much to hide, some things out of concern for his own safety (he did not think Vanessa and him should ever admit that they'd been thieves before El Barrio), some because they were nobody's business anyways (how he'd never found a girl pretty in his life, but boys were very handsome). He kept his thoughts hidden, his feelings even more. Sonny wasn't like that. Sonny was something else.

 

"Hey man, my mom's gonna be staying in camp today, it's just gonna be the two of us on the road."

 

Pete frowned. That was an exception that had never before happened to them and he wondered what that meant.

 

"Alright…"

 

"She's 'helping Carla out'", Sonny said with finger quotes. "It'd been a while, I guess, some days she just wants a nice day in."

 

"Without you?"

 

" _With_ Carla," Sonny shrugged. "I dunno, man, I mean, that's love."

 

"So where're we going?"

 

Sonny had a wicked grin as he pulled out a small map of the region and pointed to a certain settlement out in the East that Pete had never visited before.

 

"Pine Grove Camp," Sonny said. "They're not very big but they're well situated and I think they have a pretty decent life overall, but this isn't why I'm happy about the mission…"

 

He took off his backpack and shoved it in Pete's hands, who opened it under Sonny's proud eyes. It was full to the brink and its contents were almost hard to get out.

 

"Blankets?" He asked. "And clothes?"

 

"It's just a beginning," Sonny said. "I got an in with them ladies who make the fabric, they had a few spare from last winter."

 

"And you're gonna…"

 

" _We're_ ," Sonny emphasized, "Gonna help the tiny settlements out. There's a few on the way to Pine Grove." He pointed on the map. "This one, this one, and maybe this one if they've had a bad harvest this year."

 

Pete nodded. He loved how excited Sonny was about this whole project. Not that Pete was completely indifferent. He didn't mind helping others in this new life, didn't mind becoming a different boy than what he'd grown up as, but he wouldn't have gotten involved in any of it without Sonny's prompting.

 

Being on the roads just with Sonny was a new experience, one that Pete soon learned he liked. Traveling with Vanessa was somewhat quiet to say the least. She always kept her focus on the surroundings, even in the safest parts of the wasteland, and they usually waited to be camped in for the night to start talking. Sonny was nothing like her. For once, Pete was the one handling security on this mission, with his past experience. Sonny carried a knife but that was it. And he was _constantly_ talking. Pete didn't dislike it, as long as he didn't expect him to always respond in kind.

 

"Mamá knows about the plan," Sonny said, picking up a rock from beneath his feet. "I told her yesterday."

 

"And?"

 

Pete didn't know what to make of Jane. She was smiling almost all the time, which he liked, and when she wasn't, she was glaring at whoever made her son upset (most of the time his cousin Usnavi), but she still eluded him. Pete didn't get her. Vanessa, he understood, at least a little bit. He knew her moods, how she worked. Daniela wasn't that different. Strong, firm, you just had to follow her lead and things turned out fine. Just like Vanessa. Sonny was something unique, who had his ideas and dreams and would turn them into reality whether you followed along or not, so you had better join him and enjoy the ride. But Jane, he did not know.

 

"She's on board," Sonny grinned. "Said it's a great idea, was sorry she couldn't come today."

 

"That's awesome, man," Pete replied, patting Sonny's back lightly. "I mean, that she's on board, it sucks she couldn't come."

 

Sonny waved that thought away.

 

"Oh, that's totally fine," he replied. "That's kinda how it works on camp, you know."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"El Barrio is thriving. Like, bustling with people and yeah, mostly it's me and my mom who get sent on deliveries, but sometimes it isn't, usually that means Cuddly Ted is my security, but today you are. I love that."

 

A smile came to Pete. He pulled down his goggles, tried to look the part of a good security guard. Tried to look serious.

 

"Right…"

 

"Everyone is just doing their own unique things and we're _free_. You know what I mean?"

 

"Means your mom's spending the day with her girlfriend if she wanna, I guess."

 

"Just so," Sonny nodded.

 

Pete thought. This part also was something he hadn't been used to, not really. It'd just been him and Vanessa and love, romantic love, had never been something she'd explained to him. He wasn't sure she'd ever been in love. He was sure he hadn't.

 

"Do people fall in love all the time?" He asked and felt dumb the second the words left his mouth.

 

"Mmh?"

 

If he'd asked once, he might as well ask it again and get an answer, possibly a good answer.

 

"In El Barrio," he said and tried his best to roll his 'r's like Sonny had taught him to, with moderate success. "Do people fall in love all the time?"

 

The way Sonny was staring, Pete felt like he'd asked something stupid, but then maybe Sonny would take pity on him and explain things calmly.

 

"Yeah," he simply replied. "They do."

 

They walked a bit further, Pete carrying Sonny's large backpack for him for the steepest part of the road.

 

"That's an odd question," Sonny added after a while. "You and Vanessa, you've never…?"

 

"Ew," Pete pulled a face. "No."

 

"Dios mío, I didn't mean together! Just… before you came to camp?"

 

Pete thought on it a long while and he almost thought Sonny had forgotten he'd asked anything but when he turned to give his answer, he found Sonny's eyes staring into his. He was happy then to be wearing his goggles. He wasn't great at eye contact.

 

"Vanessa's had sex," he said. "Whenever we find a settlement to spend the night or a trading post."

 

" _Every_ time? Damn, that's a lot of guys."

 

"And gals, she likes both," Pete added and he thought he saw a blush on Sonny's face but didn't point it out. "And not every time, just, often. She thinks I don't know."

 

"I think you know so much more than anyone thinks."

 

"Well it's not love, anyways, it's sex."

 

"Sex can be love too," Sonny said. "I mean, I wouldn't know, it's just what Mamá told me. You find someone you like and you _make_ love."

 

"Well I've never had either," Pete retorted flatly.

 

"Me neither," Sonny admitted. "But some day."

 

They passed through the small settlements Sonny had marked down on the map and there was joy on the dwellers' faces when Sonny opened the backpack to pass around warm blankets and garments for the next winter, luckily not before months. The happiest of all was Sonny, whose whole face was shining with pride. The first settlement, the second, the third, and every time that grin got wider.

 

"These people are incredible," Sonny confided on their way to Pine Grove, where he was to deliver a letter from a settler of El Barrio who had a family member living over there. "They have so much to give."

 

"Mmh," Pete nodded.

 

"Some of them gave me a few trinkets in exchange, they're so generous. Look at this!" He showed Pete a bag full of little items, some potted clay, toys, even a book. "They have nothing and they'll still give you everything."

 

Letter delivered, donations made to the settlements, they walked back to camp and this time around, they did it Pete's way, more quietly, but he felt like Sonny and him were as much in sync as they were on the way there that they'd spent talking.

 

"There's my favorite son," Jane welcomed Sonny when they walked through the East Gate. "How was the mission?"

 

"Awesome!" Sonny said, cheerful as ever. "They were so grateful, this was a _great_ idea."

 

"A great idea cause it was yours," Jane smiled, mussing up his hair. "I hope he didn't bore you to death, Pete."

 

Pete shook his head.

 

"Not at all," he replied.

 

"You had a nice day with Carla?" Sonny asked.

 

"Of course, always," she said. "She's on our side now."

 

"What do you mean?" Sonny frowned.

 

"Took _a lot_ of convincing," Jane said. "She'll talk to Doña Daniela about it. I told you to always dream big, kid, and I'll take care of the rest."

 

 

And that was when Pete found out that he actually understood Jane crystal clear. She was a mother who would do anything at all for her son, go to any lengths. He wondered if he'd find that kind of love in his own heart someday. He thought of Sonny's smile when he was distributing the blankets and it seemed to him that somehow, he might start to get it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter sucks I hate the way I write Pete but anyways here it is.


	12. The Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniela gets ready for a hunting trip to test Vanessa's skills out on the field.

So, rumor had it that Vanessa was a skilled fighter with her guns. Daniela never trusted anyone with that judgment if she could make the call herself. She would need to see Vanessa out there in a fight to know for sure. Possibly assign her to a position in security, give her a bunk. For now, the girl was still sleeping in the healing hut, but surely it was just a matter of time till they found her a new bed. Claudia was finally, begrudgingly willing to let her go up and about camp in all her duties and she had even given her reluctant permission to let her out for that short mission with the kitchen staff. On which she had reportedly been the most talented gunfighter Usnavi had ever seen.

 

"Niño," Daniela told a passing messenger boy − they had a small team of a half dozen of messengers who were everywhere, waiting to be told to give a message to whoever needed be contacted on camp. "Go ask for Vanessa by the kitchen and tell her to go to the barracks immediately."

 

Vanessa ate at the kitchen hall almost every morning now. Said there was more choice of breakfasts to pick from when you went directly to the source. Daniela had her own theory.

 

Carla was by the barracks when Daniela arrived, mending the security guards' armors. As soon as she saw Daniela, she jumped to her feet to give her a hug.

 

"Are you going out today?" She asked. "You never come by the barracks."

 

Daniela nodded.

 

"Hunting trip. I need to supervise them sometimes too."

 

Generally, Daniela trusted in the jurisdictions she assigned to people and in the managers she selected to keep supervision, but it never hurt to see things for herself. She was curious to assess Vanessa's actual skills on the field and the hunting team was due for a trip today, in the woods south of camp. She thought she might use the opportunity.

 

"Carla, I went over the… Oh, Daniela, you're here."

 

Nina had walked straight into the lockers of the barracks where Carla had been at work on the armors. She was holding a notepad covered with scribbles and sketches.

 

"Entre mija, what were you going to tell Carla?"

 

Nina handed her the notepad.

 

"I designed new sleeves for the armors and Carla is helping me refit them. I think they'll allow for more breathing space and make guards more efficient when they're handling melee weapons."

 

This was Nina, always one step ahead. No one had ever asked her to revise the guards' uniform, and yet when Daniela looked over the design changes, she wondered how they could have let the old ones go for so long. She handed Nina the notepad back with a pinch of the cheek.

 

"Excellent work."

 

The door opened again behind them and Vanessa watched them warily.

 

"What is this?"

 

Always suspicious, their little newcomer. Daniela wondered if she would ever loosen up. She had her ideas on what might make Vanessa uncoil that tension she was building up.

 

"You and I are helping out the hunters today."

 

Vanessa visibly relaxed. Daniela had noticed that she liked being given a specific task. Probably liked the challenge, liked knowing what she was supposed to do and then doing it as perfectly as she could. Proving herself.

 

"A'ight. Let's go then."

 

"Not so fast," Daniela tutted. "We'll be the offensive, we need to change."

 

Carla immediately went to the closet where Daniela had her own personal armor kept tidy and ready to use and grabbed a pair of extra leathers to try and match Vanessa's size. Nina sat down and observed, crossing her arms. There was some sort of self-consciousness to her position that made Daniela wonder about her. She'd have to dig there later.

 

"Thank you, mi amor," she told Carla who was strapping her gauntlets and leather plates on her. "Not too tight."

 

"I know," Carla smiled.

 

So she did. Daniela probably could don her own armor on her own like the guards did themselves, but she never did. There was a joy to sharing this moment with Carlita and today, this joy felt doubled with Vanessa and Nina at her side. Nina was picking through the leathers Carla had brought to find something to fit Vanessa, and helping her into them as well. These two had clicked like peas in a pod, which Daniela was happy about. Vanessa was a good element, they needed someone like her in camp. It wasn't rare for Nina to spend dinner with her, when either wasn't busy with someone else. She'd made a friend of her.

 

"So, Nina, I hear you've been talking to Benny," Daniela said, trying her best not to smirk. Her best wasn't very much.

 

Nina dropped the shoulder pad she was holding and dove to pick it up. When she stood back up, her whole face was bright red.

 

"What did you hear?"

 

Vanessa and Carla were both onto Nina as well, not missing a word that might come out her mouth.

 

"Oh, you know, the usual…" Daniela trailed off. "Heard he's got the biggest gun in camp."

 

"What do you…" Carla started but Daniela waved her silent.

 

Vanessa was snickering, jabbing a finger into Nina's side playfully.

 

"They say he can barely fit it in his holster," Daniela added.

 

"Tell me something I don't know," Vanessa snorted while Nina shook her head.

 

"You three are being silly and you'll never find love," Nina cursed them with the biggest grin threatening to pass her lips.

 

They were almost done with dressing up, Daniela all donned with her body armor, her helmet and her stronger boots, the ones with metal bits on the soles that made her kicks extra dangerous. She was not to be bothered when she was wearing these shoes.

 

"Mija, the day I fall in love is the day I have lost everything I am," Daniela said, strapping her handgun at her side where it was the easiest to access.

 

Nina shrugged, nothing to add to that. It was well known around camp that Daniela was the one who never bedded any man, or woman for that matter, whose heart never wavered for anyone. She had enough fondness in her for her precious favorites and almost all of them were contained in this very room. Leading a settlement as big as El Barrio was enough passion for a lifetime. Daniela didn't need more. That didn't stop her from endlessly teasing the others whose heart was so tuned.

 

"Actually, this reminds me," Daniela said. "I think I need to give Usnavi and his girlfriend their own dwelling…"

 

Vanessa turned to Daniela so fast, like a predator onto its prey. Her eyes were flashing anger.

 

" _Usnavi has a girlfriend?!_ "

 

_Caught like a trapped rat_ , Daniela thought.

 

"Not with that attitude," she said. "You'll have to take that first step, mija, otherwise you'll never get him."

 

Vanessa opened her mouth, closed it − she looked _furious_. Nina and Carla were both staring with an amused smile, waiting for whatever excuse she would give.

 

"I don't _care_ ," she grumbled.

 

She grabbed the rest of her armor herself, shrugging off Nina's help, angrily dressing herself.

 

"He can date whoever he wants," she added, almost more to herself than to them. "I don't wanna date no one, especially not his stupid face."

 

"Oh, sweetie…" Nina said, sitting back down and checking her notepad, as it seemed her job as an impromptu armor help was done.

 

Carla gave Daniela a last polish of her armor, secured her pistol holsters, and she was set to go. Vanessa wasn't near bad herself in that make-do mismatched armor. They'd need to have one fitted to her if she passed today's test. Daniela had faith.

 

"Bueno, let's go," she said.

 

"Wasteland, here we come!" Vanessa said, a hand on the handle of her machete.

 

There was that look on Nina's face again. Their princess was growing tired of being cooped up in her tower and though Daniela wasn't the dragon locking her up, she hated knowing she wasn't the prince freeing her either. She patted her shoulder on their way out and told herself she would have a talk with Camila and Kevin soon.

 

They joined with the hunters who bowed their heads and accepted Daniela and Vanessa's help immediately. Hunting was one of Daniela's favorite jobs, if she had to pick somewhere to help out on the field. You needed accuracy and stamina, and there were real stakes yet without having to hurt anyone.

 

"Vanessa and I are going to the front. Paco, Ana, you watch our backs. The rest, you follow along and try not to get killed."

 

The hunt was a good one. Two deer, a few rabbits, even a bird. They'd have poultry for a month with the size of it. Daniela and Vanessa helped tie the slain game on sticks to carry them back to camp through the woods and together, as a group, they went back home.

 

Daniela had observed Vanessa the whole time, of course. What a strange little creature she was. Not a bad fighter by any means. Good enough to impress Usnavi for sure, and good enough to impress her, which was a wholly different yardstick altogether. Very good at stealth, for sure. Even without knowing, Daniela would have known immediately that this girl had been used to living in the wasteland, and for a very long time. Everything about her attitude on the field screamed caution and prudence, but when she had an in, she exploited it so completely that she made the kill without anyone's help. For that reason, she didn't seem very good at team work to Daniela. _That can be fixed,_ she thought. _Vanessa is a work in progress_.

 

"You did very good," she told her during their walk back.

 

"Thanks," Vanessa said.

 

 

She was trying to sound untouched but Daniela didn't miss her proud smile. The rest of the team didn't either and soon there were whispers of that newcomer whom Doña Daniela, their own queen, had complimented so freely. Daniela let them talk. They'd better be used to it, because she had the feeling that she would have many more occasions to be proud of Vanessa in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that there will be no chapter tomorrow, as I am writing an article for a website. The next chapter will be on Tuesday instead!


	13. The Rosarios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family drama at dinner in the Rosarios household.

 

Even in a camp buzzing with activity putting anthills to shame, Camila Rosario still demanded that her family ate together every night in their private quarters in the radio tower. Cramped as it was, El Barrio did not allow for many personal dwellings. Most people shared dormitories according to their jurisdictions for sake of space. But Nina's parents had always worked twice as hard, each had climbed up the ranks to the highest position in their respective field and their toil had been rewarded with their own quarters to raise a family, solid bed for each of them, running water and a dining room where Camila brought home dinner as she came back from work every night.

 

On any given day, Nina was grateful for those moments with her dear family when she could just unwind and forget all about problems beyond her realm of control. Today, however, and for the past few days, the core of her problems lay with her father and she'd been planning on skipping family dinner so long as the problem wasn't solved. But that had been without counting her mom into the equation. She might as well have spat in her face, two days without family dinner. Three was a declaration of war.

 

"Nina," Lincoln said, a hand on her shoulder.

 

She startled at the touch. She'd been deep into her book all afternoon up on the top room of the tower and had not expected to be disturbed.

 

"It's you," she said.

 

Her brother's eyes were full of compassion and for a moment, she wondered if their father had touched a word to him about their fight (that wasn't even a fight, her father refusing to even give her the closure of a fight), but Lincoln had a gentle soul and if he'd known about a fight, he would have already tried to mend the breach between Nina and her father.

 

"Please," he said. "Mom is already at the end of her nerves. I understand you needed a night to yourself yesterday and the night before that, but she won't be able to take it anymore. She's already starting to withhold food from us unless you attend dinner."

 

Nina chuckled silently. That _was_ like her mother. It seemed like the need of the many outweighed her own and she stood up after marking the page in her book. Lincoln let her through the door first, always the gentleman.

 

"Whatever it is," he said. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

 

She sighed internally. Sweet Lincoln. Of course he'd say that, but she knew him, sometimes she thought she knew people better than they knew themselves, and she was certain that in case of conflict, Lincoln would hide in his shell, make himself tiny and unseen, and she would be off to fight for herself until all was said and done. Then only, he would come back to care for her wounds and pat her back. This battle against her father was one she could only fight on her own.

 

"Thanks," she replied nonetheless. "This is why you're my favorite brother."

 

He laughed and pulled her close into a side hug, kissing her hair and Nina remembered a time when her brother's hugs felt like everything she'd ever needed in the world. Life was easier then.

 

Tension was as thick as acid fogs at the dinner table. Her father was at the end of the table, sulking and crossed arms. Her mother was on the opposite end with the deepest frown Nina had ever seen on her face. Both of them followed her with their eyes as she walked to her seat on the side of the table, Lincoln fretting in front of her.

 

"Found her!" He said, trying to sound cheerful.

 

"Well, well…" Her mother said, starting to serve the soup that had gone lukewarm. "Miren who's showing up tonight."

 

Nina didn't reply, not wanting her temper to burst out. Her parents were staring but she kept her eyes resolutely on her bowl. Of course the soup was delicious, of course it was her favorite, chestnut, but she was just about to try and break the ice when her mom spoke.

 

"Did you get into some kind of trouble?"

 

"What? No."

 

What trouble could she even get into? She'd been in her pretty little cage all her life with security guards and heavy gates making sure to keep all the trouble out.

 

"Then just tell me why you haven't deigned honor us with your presence."

 

"I was…"

 

Her mom didn't let her finish.

 

"I had to ask _Claudia_ if she'd seen you. My own daughter. We're a _family_ , Nina, there are rules, and…"

 

Nina rolled her eyes. It did not go unnoticed.

 

"Ay, she has an attitude now! Kevin, are you seeing this? What's gotten into you?"

 

Nina set down her spoon with perhaps a bit more strength than needed, suddenly openly staring at her father instead of ignoring him.

 

" _Yes, Dad_ , what's gotten into me?"

 

He held up her gaze and his eyes grew as tired as they had when he refused her the other day.

 

"I told you we would talk about it later," he said coolly.

 

She raised her hands in disbelief. In front of her, Lincoln was squirming in place, making himself as small as possible, and their mother was eying all of them suspiciously.

 

"You only said that so I would shut up and we both know it."

 

She hated the situation, hated the injustice of it. Why couldn't Daniela handle this for them? Or even Abuela Claudia. Usnavi was her responsibility and he was allowed to go outside all the time. Why couldn't she adopt Nina?

 

"Kevin, what is this about?"

 

He shook his head.

 

"Carajo, this is why I didn't want to bring it up…"

 

If he wanted to hide his head in the sand, then so be it. But Nina was many things, however she was not a coward and she _knew_ she had the right end of this fight. She would not cower easily. He would have to be confronted with it one way or another, and if this was the time to settle the argument once and for all, then she would fight until she got the last word.

 

"Hey, erm, so about that weather we been having…" Lincoln tried. "Crazy rain, am I right?"

 

In another situation, another night, Nina might have smiled.

 

"I've spent the past months working on a plan to rebuild El Barrio and Dad won't even look at it," Nina dropped in the open.

 

Her mom opened her mouth, closed it. Frowned.

 

"Kevin, is this true?"

 

"Oh, but she didn't tell you the whole plan, did she? Nina, why don't you tell your mother where you'll find the details of the plan?"

 

All eyes were on her again. Lincoln, poor Lincoln had nothing to do with any of this, and was watching them all with widened eyes. Her dad was looking almost smug, if frustration didn't contort his traits. Her mom was worried, but Nina only had to glance once and know that she knew the answer before Nina had to utter it.

 

"I'll need some help from the outside," she admitted.

 

"The wastelands…" Lincoln said, impressed.

 

Her mom raised her arms to the sky in silent prayer.

 

"Ay, pero why has God given me such a stubborn family? I don't know who is the worse of you two. Lincoln, mijo, eat your soup, it's gonna get cold."

 

Nina tasted the soup. It _was_ cold.

 

"Cami, she wants to go outside! After all we've worked to afford a comforta…"

 

"I've worked just as hard as you, thank you very much. I know."

 

Nina crossed looks with her mom and for a split second, she thought she might be able to win her over. But then her father opened his mouth again and Nina blamed herself for having twenty-three years less experience than Kevin Rosario in handling the head of their home, Nina's hurricane of a mother.

 

"Remember the outside, Cami? We traveled all those miles to find El Barrio, just you and me, and I am not letting my child go back out there and face all the dangers they're lucky enough not to know here."

 

Of course. Of course he'd bring up this again, as if the outside was one unified block that could be described in such a few short words.

 

"Mija, can't you send someone else instead? And stay home?"

 

"Of course she can!" Nina's dad cried out. "We have a full team of engineers, she can achieve everything in the world from camp, she's just being…"

 

"I'm just being an adult who doesn't want to be cooped up for the rest of her life, Dad," she said sharply.

 

"You're _safe_ ," he replied with anger. "Lincoln never brings such shameful ideas…"

 

On the other side of the table, eating the most likely fully cold soup by now, Lincoln did not look like he wanted to be brought up in this argument at all.

 

Still seething, Nina stood up, dropping her spoon into the bowl − it splashed but she didn't care, not one bit.

 

" _Fine_ ," she spat out. "I'm going to the lab, if that's the only place I'm allowed to be. Don't expect me at dinner from now on, I am _done_."

 

She slammed the door on her way out. Her parents began arguing together instantly behind the closed door but she fought the urge to go back in and try to settle that fight − she had a right to be mad and oh, how mad she was. She felt in some sort of a high, unable to control her steps or her mood. Her whole body was shaking with anger and she didn't know how she would even be able to work in this state. Her studies were supposed to be what calmed her down when she felt this upset. She needed to… She didn't know what she could even do when she was feeling like this. Do something reckless? Possibly something stupid. Something she'd always wanted to do but had never dared for fear of her parents' retribution.

 

And suddenly the path was clear as day and she couldn't get there fast enough. She was panting by the time she reached the door and knocked − several times, loudly, not to be ignored. She wouldn't be ignored anymore.

 

"Nina?" Benny asked in surprise when he opened the door to the elite squad quarters. "What are you…"

 

 

"Let's leave," Nina cut him. "Now. Take me to the outside."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, first time I ever do some sort of cliffhanger at the end of a chapter in this fic!


	14. The Substitute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny and Nina decide to leave camp for a while.

The buildings of El Barrio might have been slapped onto each other like a fat joke, but there was nothing random about which room Daniela had picked for herself in the maze of housing facilities. On top of the soldiers barracks, the very last floor, and most importantly just above the elite squad quarters where her three special soldiers were living. She needed to be able to reach them at a moment's notice, of course. Their missions were as urgent as they were diverse and wasting time having to find them across camp could mean life or death. Living right above them was a necessity to protect the camp from every danger.

 

But at the very crux of it, the real reason that Daniela did not share with her team but secretly the most important reason of all, was the fact that the walls and ceilings of this building were paper thin. Without them knowing, Daniela was privy to all conversations her dear squad members were up to whenever they were resting. Usually, this meant that she heard all their silly exhausted discussions late at night after a long day out on the field, but then there were always also the hushed whispers that were too low not to be a bit suspicious. These were the ones she really needed to hear. Daniela always followed a hunch.

 

Two voices tonight, and more than a little suspicious. Daniela walked down the steps silently. The hall of the elite squad quarters was empty. This hour of the night, barely dusk and just after a mission, it was expected. Ted would be out with his boyfriend by the farming sector. Dana would be at the tavern for sure, dancing her feet sore. But Benny… Benny was always the wild card. And the whispers that would not die down, those same two voices. She was almost sure she recognized them clear as day now…

 

The door to the dormitories opened and closed. Daniela hid in the shadows against the wall and of course, _of course_ that silhouette was exactly who she thought it'd be. Well, _well_. Benny had his back to her when she walked up to the doorway but he heard her and turned immediately, caught like a rat. He was in his full armor. So there was a limit to what they had done, at least.

 

"So, is Miss Rosario paying you visits at night now, huh?"

 

She could almost feel the heat from his blushed face from where she stood, so embarrassed he was. It was adorable. She would exploit every bit of that.

 

"It's not what it…"

 

"What it looks like, I'm sure," she finished, grinning.

 

He was shuffling awkwardly, hiding something behind him, whatever that could be.

 

"No, I mean… I swear, ma'am, it's actually _not_ what it looks like."

 

Something in his face, his eyes, was wide open and honest, up to a point. He was hiding something, but really did not want to hide it. She sat on Cuddly Ted's bunk, ready to hear it. Benny just stood where he was. For a moment he looked like the dorky little teenager she'd recruited on her team.

 

"Tell me, then."

 

He hesitated, his mouth opening and closing a few times. Then he gave up on trying and turned his back to her again and Daniela noticed he was packing. She frowned.

 

"We're doing this whether you approve or not," he finally said. "I don't know how, not yet, but we're doing it."

 

The armor was no coincidence, she knew. The squad had been on a mission in the morning, and she was just about sure she'd seen him in casual wear during the afternoon. On a night after a mission, the chance of a second one on the same day was slim and close to none. What was Benny plotting behind her back?

 

"Benny, I've… Oh. Daniela."

 

Nina stood there in the doorway, looking as if she wanted to be anywhere but here. Benny and her shared a look and whatever it conveyed, Daniela couldn't say for sure, but Benny shrugged apologetically and Nina sighed. She was dressed for harsh weather, her best jeans, by the look of them, her thick lab coat closed up to her chin over a thick sweater, goggles firmly in place that she quickly took off to look at Daniela awkwardly. She was carrying a heavy backpack with a sleeping roll tied at the bottom. _Oh_.

 

"Were you planning on leaving like thieves in the night?" Daniela asked and neither of them would meet her eyes then. Nina dropped down on the bed facing Ted's, her backpack dragging her down.

 

"Daniela," she said, her voice low and begging. "You know I've never been outside, not once, and I just…"

 

"She should see it all!" Benny cried out, sitting next to Nina, an arm around her shoulders. "She deserves to be free to go like any of us."

 

His voice was firm, convinced. Not that Daniela needed convincing on that particular point. She glanced between the two of them. This wasn't what it looked like, Benny had said. In her opinion, it was also exactly what it looked like. She sighed, maybe a little dramatically.

 

"You're going to make me cover up for you leaving, aren't you?"

 

What had Daniela done to deserve this, two naughty kids dropping this on her all of a sudden? She loved them more than anything in the world, almost as much as Carla, but they were two stubborn idiots.

 

"I want to leave a letter," Nina said at once.

 

Benny shook his head, unconvinced.

 

"And what then," Daniela said. "Does this mean your parents can just turn to me and the whole camp then rub it in my face that the two of you sneaked out under my watch? If I let you out, you're doing it under my terms."

 

"That's what I was saying!" Benny said. "Two people missing isn't all that much in a big camp, we'll totally be able to be gone and come back before people notice anything."

 

"But the Rosarios…"

 

Nina cleared her throat.

 

"I… erm, I had a fight with my parents. I'm sure they won't be suspicious if they don't see me for a few days…"

 

She was looking down at her hands, ashamed. The camp's good little girl, rebelling against her own parents… And Daniela thought she had seen it all.

 

"What should we do, then?" Benny asked seriously. "We're leaving with or without your blessing, but you're smart, and you know the settlers."

 

Daniela stood up to get in front of them and, with maybe just a hint of drama, cupped their faces.

 

"My blessing, you already have it, amores."

 

Nina's shoulders dropped in relief − what a little bundle of nerves, this one − and Benny beamed with joy.

 

"My parents… I guess even with a letter they'll never approve. They won't get it."

 

Daniela brushed her thumb against Nina's cheek, just under the eye where tears were ready to roll down, stopping them short.

 

"I'll handle your parents," she said. "I'll say you're working extra hours at the lab. You left upset?" Nina nodded. "Then they'll believe it if I say you're sulking and don't want to see them. At least for a while."

 

"They might still notice," Benny said, "But we have no other choice, I think."

 

"I told them…" Nina breathed deep. "I told them I didn't want to spend dinner with them anymore, I think that bought us some time."

 

"Still, this is your home, everybody knows you, they'll know you're gone… Maybe we do have to own up to it after all."

 

They were whispering between themselves again.

 

" _Okay_ ," Daniela interrupted. "I believe I'm still the ruler in this camp."

 

"Of course, ma'am," Benny nodded, his back suddenly straight, nodding with reverence. "I'm sorry."

 

She stood up, ready to leave them.

 

"I'm giving you eight days. I can cover your asses that long. If it takes you any longer than that to come back, then I'll have to tell them the truth."

 

She turned her heels and was already in the hall when she called out one last thing with a smirk that was just for her.

 

"And enjoy yourselves in the wasteland!"

 

She waved and walked back to her room. There were some more whispers coming from the quarters below, some shuffling, and then steps walking away and nothing at all.

 

She was down in the healing hut by her desk when Vanessa woke up the next morning. She watched her slowly merge to motion, stretching herself in the thin ray of sun coming through the planks of the roof, taking her sweet long time before opening her eyes, a smile on her lips. What a young girl she still was, waking up from surely a beautiful dream.

 

"Sleep well?" Daniela asked.

 

Vanessa startled, jerking up to look around, spotting Daniela. She grabbed her top from under her bed, pulled it on.

 

"Fine," she replied. "You're here early. What you got for me today?"

 

Daniela walked the few steps separating her from Vanessa's bed. Standing next to her, she was towering. Vanessa didn't seem to like being loomed on. She immediately stood up, pulling on her overalls, strapping them on tight. There was no break to her motions anymore. The wound at her side was healed, or near enough as to allow her all the freedom of move she'd had before.

 

"How do you feel about helping out on the elite squad?" Daniela said.

 

Vanessa paused. She eyed Daniela suspiciously, not quite willing to trust that the offer was genuine, it seemed.

 

"Elite squad, huh? You lost one of 'em or something?"

 

Daniela checked that the room was empty and the door closed before answering. Claudia was out, most likely checking on Usnavi or in the farming district to check on the progress of her medicinal herb garden. Good. She'd keep the secret from her too as long as she could.

 

"Benny and Nina left," she said simply. "Out in the wasteland. Won't be back for a week."

 

Surprise flashed on Vanessa's face, but she quickly regained all maintenance.

 

"No me diga," she said flatly. "When'd they leave?"

 

"Late at night," Daniela said. "Nobody knows and nobody will know, if you catch my meaning, but my squad cannot be under four."

 

Vanessa sat back on the bed to take it all in, looking at her fingers in silence. It was a while before she talked next.

 

"She did want to see the outside…"

 

"So she did."

 

Vanessa took a little while longer, then shook her head and grabbed the weapons by Claudia's cabinet − she wouldn't let Vanessa sleep with them.

 

"'Course I'll help the squad if you wanna," she said, fussing with the belt buckle that held her machete. "And I can keep secrets. But what happens when Benny comes back?"

 

 

"Then," Daniela said. "He'll have to get used to having a new roommate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand it looks like Vanessa's finally got herself a more permanent job! Please comment if you liked this chapter, anything at all warms my heart and makes me feel alive.


	15. The Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usnavi and Vanessa bond over their little idiot boys.

 

Usnavi didn't like to assume, of course not. Assumptions led to expectations and he was staying away from those as much as he could. Instead, he waited patiently, faithfully. And that morning at the kitchen halls, he waited and waited and waited, definitely not under the assumption that Vanessa would join him for an early breakfast before his delivery round as she had for the past week. He wouldn't dare expect that.

 

"Usnavi, are you waiting for the sky to fall? Get to work!" Señora Rosario barked, in a terrible mood this morning.

 

He rose to his feet, saluting her, because he did _not_ want to be on the bad side of an upset Camila Rosario. She watched him go, his basket heavy on his back, and he began his delivery round across camp. The sky was thick and heavy with clouds, almost yellow, and Usnavi hoped it would pour down soon because the longer it went, the harsher it would be once rain came. As he liked, he ended his round with the soldiers barracks and his faith was rewarded because there she was, God's blessing on this ravaged earth, sitting with Cuddly Ted and Dana by the dining tables. As soon as he entered the room, she stood up, grabbing him by the arms to lead him to an empty table a bit farther in the room, just the two of them.

 

"Sup?" She asked, grabbing one of the last portions of breakfast from his basket.

 

He looked back to the other table. Elite squad without Benny. Odd, but not as odd as Vanessa sitting with them. He'd never seen her hang around them at all before. His chest hurt with a pang of jealousy that he bit back down.

 

"Oh, erm, hi," he said. "Missed you at the kitchen halls this morning! I mean, not 'miss you' miss you, like, you weren't there…"

 

There was a smile on her face as she sat down and tore herself a piece of bread that she chewed on. He never quite knew what to make of her smiles, what to make of her anything.

 

"So, erm, what were you doing sitting with…"

 

"Cuz," Sonny shouted from the door, "We need your help!"

 

Sonny dashed through the room, dragging the boy behind him. _Pete_ , Usnavi reminded himself. _His name is Pete, Vanessa wants me to call him Pete_. They sat on either side of her in front of Usnavi. Couldn't he get just one moment with her to himself?

 

" _What?_ " He said, with perhaps more mood than what was deserved.

 

Sonny reached over the table with his short arms to grab his hands.

 

"You know you're my favorite cousin in the whole settlement, right?"

 

Usnavi huffed. Sonny had no other cousin.

 

"Well, that's good to know."

 

"And I love you _so very much_ …"

 

There was the suspicion again, of course. Usnavi nodded slowly. A few seconds of silence, Sonny gathering his words, but it was Pete who broke it.

 

"Sonny and me are giving stuff to other settlements in difficulty and Sonny wants help from you."

 

He spoke clearly, if a bit roughly, like he'd rehearsed the words before. Sonny nodded proudly − Usnavi wondered if maybe they'd rehearsed together. He looked at Vanessa, but she wasn't looking back, instead her eyes on Pete with an expression he hadn't seen before on her face. There was pride, of course, but some sort of unbelief as well and it wasn't an entirely positive look. Like there was something she was holding back. He wasn't sure he liked that.

 

"What kinda stuff?"

 

Sonny shrugged. He dropped Usnavi's hands and gesticulated as he explained the project.

 

"Like, you know how we have more than we think? Like you and pillows that you're hoarding when I need them, but I mean camp. El Barrio has more stuff than you'd think, and the kitchens too, so do you think you could convince Señora Rosario to give us some?"

 

Vanessa was a closed book still. Usnavi wished he could figure her out, know what she was about. Maybe the mystery was also why he loved her, the fact that she was still enigmatic to him even as he was getting to know her. But there was no saying what she thought of this idea and he didn't know what to say to bring that smile back on her face.

 

"You just had this idea?" He asked Sonny.

 

His cousin nodded, reaching over past Vanessa to pat Pete's shoulder.

 

"Yeah, we handed out blankets last time we was out on a mission, and it felt good, right? Tell Usnavi it was great."

 

Pete nodded, but he wasn't looking Usnavi's way, or even Sonny's. His eyes were straight on Vanessa, the two of them in a bubble of their own he wasn't sure anyone could break.

 

"It's nice," he said. "Helping people. Giving things. Stuff."

 

Slowly, Vanessa blinked, turned back to Usnavi, waiting for his answer as well.

 

"I mean, erm, I can totally ask Señora Rosario if you want…" He said, trying to gauge Vanessa's reaction. "She kinda mad today, but I think she could say yes. You tried the farming sector?"

 

"Of course," Sonny replied at once. "Got an in with Carla, her bros work there."

 

"That's good," Usnavi said.

 

"Yeah," Vanessa said. "It is."

 

There was something in Sonny and Pete's eyes when they talked about their project and for the first time, Usnavi was hit with the fact that Sonny was growing up, and for real. Much faster than he thought. He had a full life of his own now, filled with new people, with that new boy, and he wondered if he'd still have a place in it. 

 

"So I can count on you?" Sonny asked.

 

Usnavi wasn't exactly looking forward to asking anything from Camila Rosario. She scared him more than a little bit. But family was family, always, and if there was anything he'd stand for, no matter what, it was helping people.

 

"Claro que si," he replied. "I'll talk to her."

 

Sonny rushed to hug him, swearing he really was his favorite cousin in the whole world under his breath.

 

"We'll be leaving next week again, alright? If Señora Rosario has food to donate, that'd be even better."

 

They left after Usnavi promised yet another time that he'd do his best. Even when the two boys were gone, Vanessa remained silent, munching on one of those peaches she liked. On the other side of the room, Ted and Dana were leaving. He thanked God Vanessa was still here sitting with him.

 

"So about the eli…"

 

"Pete's a good person," she cut him. "Both of them are."

 

"Yeah," he said. He didn't know if he was relieved for the change of subject or not. "You raised him good."

 

Her eyes were so deep, he noticed for the millionth time. So many secrets were hidden behind them. He wanted to stare forever until he pierced every single one.

 

"Sometimes I'm afraid he'll move on faster than me."

 

She spoke softly, her voice mixed with sadness.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

She didn't reply, not immediately, instead grabbing the tankard in front of her and took a long swig, her throat bobbing as she swallowed.

 

"Me and Pete," she explained. "It was just the two of us for a _very_ long time. Thirteen years. He says he doesn't remember anything from before."

 

He nodded. He could barely find it in him to peck at his own meal, but that was business as usual since she'd started eating with him. Always the same knot in his stomach, or sometimes the butterflies. Either way.

 

"How much do you take care of Sonny?" She asked.

 

Truth be told, a lot. Sonny's father had never been around ; Usnavi didn't even know him. He just knew that some day, merchants were passing through, and a few months after that, his aunt's belly had gotten big with a child. He'd been sixteen then, and after Sonny was born, though it was Sonia back then, he would always volunteer to watch the baby when Tía Jane was out on a mission, or to help feed the baby, later to teach the kid to count and read. Family was family.

 

"He's my cousin," he said simply. "I'll always take care of him."

 

She hummed in approval.

 

"Same with me and Pete. I mean, we're not cousins, but he's my boy, you know?"

 

"Yeah," he breathed out. He knew that feeling all too well, for all he complained about Sonny. "Yeah, I know."

 

"But what happens the day he becomes Sonny's boy instead? Or anyone else's, I dunno."

 

Usnavi frowned. He didn't quite know what she expected him to say − he never wanted to disappoint her. Before he could even try, she waved her hand and took another sip of juice.

 

"I'm sorry," she said. "This is ridiculous. I'm just not used to… ya know."

 

He must have shown on her face that he did not know because she snorted.

 

"I mean, being in a community. I've been good in a duo. I need time to… adjust. To being in a large group."

 

"I been in a community all my life," he joked. "Maybe I should learn about what it's like to be in a duo."

 

He shut his mouth as soon as he realized the implications of what he'd said, but in vain. She was smirking. Now he was the one who needed to change subject.

 

"Ah, erm, why were you sitting with Dana and Cuddly Ted earlier?"

 

That got her mind fully switched on the new topic real quick. She bit her lip.

 

"If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone?"

 

He nodded. His heart was throbbing already at the prospect of sharing secrets with Vanessa.

 

"I moved in with 'em yesterday," she said. "Daniela assigned me to elite squad."

 

Usnavi's mouth dropped. The elite squad was so prized. Always just a handful of members, specifically handpicked by Daniela to train individually. Elite squad members were _good_. Not typical security guard level of good with a gun or a blade. Something else entirely, immense potential in them. Usnavi had been so proud when Benny had been selected, and now Vanessa…

 

"Wow…"

 

"Daniela told me to keep the training on the down low."

 

"Why? Vanessa, that's awesome!"

 

She looked around the dining halls to check if anyone was listening in. Usnavi realized they were alone. When he was with her, the rest of the world might as well disappear.

 

"Benny and Nina sneaked out of camp," she said. "I'm there to back up the team in his absence, but no one is supposed to know he's gone, so no one can know I'm training either. Not yet."

 

Something dropped inside Usnavi.

 

" _Benny and Nina?!_ " They were his two best friends in the world. He could barely believe they'd want to leave camp, much less without telling him. "But… why?"

 

She shrugged.

 

"Wanted to see the outside, I guess? Daniela says they'll be back next week."

 

"Ah, well… I guess some people like the outside…"

 

"The wasteland is a special place," she said. She paused before saying the next part. "I seen enough of it for a while, though."

 

She smiled at him. Tried to hide the smile behind another sip but it was no use, he'd seen it.

 

"I… erm, I hope you'll be sticking around camp, then."

 

"I might," she said. "I think I just might."

 

They shared eye contact for a moment, and for once, he didn't feel stupid when he smiled at her. She stood up abruptly, readjusting the rifle on her back.

 

"I'll see you later, so…"

 

He waved in all awkwardness, watching her walk away to do great things, surely. Just before reaching the door, she turned and smirked.

 

 

"Have fun begging for Señora Rosario's help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this chapter is a bit boring? I need some things to be put in place for later chapters. Please leave comments!


	16. The Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and Benny spend a few days in the wasteland.

A _river_. A river is what it took for Nina to break down into sobs against Benny's shoulder. Not even a mile from camp, just the stream down south that El Barrio got its water from. Nina had helped re-design the filters from the pumping site and yet she'd never seen it built to completion according to plans she had worked on. Never seen a river at all.

 

"What's wrong?" Benny asked, arms around her.

 

She sniffled, rubbed her nose.

 

"It's fine," she sighed. "I'm fine."

 

She did not want to leave his arms, maybe not ever, but she turned her head to still look at the tumbling river next to them. Tons of water rushing downhill, the movement of their fall beyond any illustration or description she'd seen. Light reflected on it in so many fractured ways, nothing like rain, nothing like the shower spray in the small rusty metal cabins at camp. The beauty of it was unfathomable.

 

"You good?" He asked once her breathing had calmed down.

 

"Yeah," she nodded. "The outside is… beautiful."

 

"Wait till you see the flowers," he smiled.

 

She poked his arm teasingly.

 

"I've seen flowers before."

 

He poked back, then placed a hand on the small of her back to urge her forward.

 

"Not like the ones in the wild, you haven't."

 

As it turned out, he was right. They walked for a couple hours, off the paths in case they got searched after, and if at the beginning, their hands were brushing from time to time, by the time the sun was up, they were just openly holding hands as they made their way through the wasteland. They'd reached a small hill and Benny stopped in their tracks.

 

"Close your eyes," he said.

 

"What?"

 

He rolled his eyes and got behind her, his hands covering her eyes. They walked a little while longer in this awkward position until he whispered in her ears.

 

"And _now_ you can look."

 

She opened her eyes to a large field of sunflowers, bigger than El Barrio, bigger than any natural field had any right to be. Everywhere she looked, yellow flowers in full blossoming, facing the sun behind her, welcoming her to the wasteland.

 

"Benny…"

 

"Pretty cool, right?"

 

_Pretty cool_. This was exactly why Nina had needed to see the outside. Twenty-three years old and only seeing the world right now. As if she had wasted every year that came before now. Of course, books were beyond value, but there was the world of understanding, of knowledge, and then there was also the tangible reality she knew so much about and yet was just now discovering in earnest.

 

"Pretty cool," she nodded, trying to contain her excitement.

 

The first day, they just spent exploring wherever her fancy went, as far away from camp as they could. There were so many things to see, so much things to do that Nina was surprised by the time the sun went down. The day had gone by so fast. They set up camp in an empty building still standing, though in a pitiful state, from before the Explosions.

 

"So, what's for tomorrow?" Benny asked.

 

Nina pulled out her map, localized where they were standing. She had marked down all the places she needed to visit to get sufficient information for her big plan for El Barrio, though camp was the last thing on her mind today.

 

"There's a water treatment facility nearby that I'd like to visit," she said. "I think we need to rethink how camp treats its used water and I'm hoping to draw some inspiration, maybe talk with the people working there…"

 

"Sounds fun," he smiled.

 

They slept on old dusty beds that smelled a little bit moldy. Right before falling asleep, Nina looked at Benny on the other side of the room, how relaxed he seemed in his sleep, even with his gun right by his bed. She found sleep soon after.

 

The pumping and cleaning center turned out to be a mixed bag of disappointment and excitement. The facility was unbelievable, simple in its design yet complex and would probably have been very efficient… if it had been running.

 

"No one on your side either, huh?" Benny said, coming from the other side of the building than Nina.

 

They'd both gone to check parts of the building for any inhabitant at all, both coming back empty-handed.

 

"Nope," she shook her head. "Darn it, I was really hoping for a tour…"

 

He grinned, grabbed her hand.

 

"If it's a tour you want, that's not a problem."

 

He started walking them around the large building, pointing to different parts.

 

"And this right here is the tube thingie," he said.

 

"The intake pipe," she laughed. "Do you even know how water treatment works?"

 

"Do you even know how to fire a gun?" He countered.

 

"Fair point," she smiled.

 

Round the building they went and every place they were, Benny asked her to explain to him how it worked. His questions were smart and articulate − he was obviously trying to listen and understand the whole process. By the end of the visit, Nina had explained so much to him that she felt even she understood it all better than she did before. At night, she sat down and worked on her notes for a long, long time while Benny watched her and she felt like she'd progressed a lot even with an empty building.

 

"There's so many things I haven't seen…"

 

"You'll see them all," Benny said. "I promise."

 

"Eight days is a short time," she said. "And we only have six left."

 

"Then we'll leave again another time," he said, hand on her thigh, not insistent, not forceful, just a heavy presence that made her feel more relaxed already. "And you'll see what we can't see this trip around."

 

A pang of affection for him went through her heart. Benny had the gift to bring that in her, to make himself loved by everyone and certainly by her. She'd known him her whole life, of course, he was also a child from the camp itself. They'd been friends for as long as she could remember because Nina was friends with everyone, and for some reason, she'd chosen to go directly to him when she'd decided to sneak out of camp and not to anyone else. Sure, there was the skill factor. She couldn't exactly ask Usnavi to accompany her on the outside. They'd be dead before even leaving the ranging area of the scouts of El Barrio. But she knew everyone on camp, many of them skilled enough to survive out here, and yet she'd picked Benny. They crossed looks again − they'd never looked at each other quite so much as the past two days − and she felt like her choice made perfect sense.

 

The third day was empty. She'd made up her mind of trying to make the trip to the City and back, hopefully find a caravan that would drive them back faster than on foot so they could explore some more before their eight days were up, and the only way there was through the emptiness that was the desert of tall grass that surrounded camp on the north side. Nina didn't mind. She wanted to see it all, and that included seeing the vastness of the wasteland.

 

"You're awfully quiet," Benny said and Nina realized they had stopped talking probably an hour ago.

 

"I'm a quiet person," she replied, though not without bumping into him playfully.

 

"You're… you're not upset, right?"

 

"Upset?" She asked in surprise. "Why would I be upset?"

 

"I mean…" He gestured at the plains around them. "This ain't exactly a picture book."

 

"I've read picture books," she said. "More than I can count. This is better."

 

The way he smiled was always so genuine, like the happiness in his heart couldn't wait to find a way to burst out. She could stand to see more of that.

 

"It's so real," she said, palm running through the tall grass that reached up her waist. "You don't get this from a book. I don't care that there's nothing around."

 

"Hopefully no beasts either," he joked. "Remember that time I was still in security team, me and Anita got ranging duty and we were barely out in the desert, we had to run back in cause we'd been bitten by feral wolves? Man, Claudia was so mad…"

 

Something in her face must have shown her fear because immediately, he wrapped an arm around her waist protectively.

 

"Don't worry," he said. "Won't happen with us. And if it does, I'll kill 'em before they touch you."

 

The fourth day, their rations went out. They'd both packed in a hurry, grabbing only the bare essentials, and Nina was surprised they'd managed to pack three days of food at all.

 

"Alright, so we can hunt, or we can fish," Benny said. "What do you want?"

 

They tried hunting first, or at least they would have if she'd been any good at it. Benny handed Nina his gun for her to try it out, see if she could aim and fire properly. She missed the target they'd set for training by several feet. They decided it'd be better to let him handle the guns at all time, but her many unsuccessful attempts seemed to have frightened the game of the entire region. Fishing it was.

 

"This is almost relaxing," she said as they caught fish in the river with impromptu spears they'd carved out of sticks.

 

She caught another one, throwing it onto the pile they'd made a few feet from the river bank.

 

"Better ask for a new jurisdiction assignment when we're back to camp," he teased. "Your mom would love to have you on her team, I'm sure."

 

Nina grew quiet instantly. She stared at the stick in her hand, at her rolled up jeans, standing in the shallow river, doing so many new things. She thought of the fight before leaving camp. Her parents would never approve of this.

 

"Nina?" Benny asked, his hand on her arm.

 

"Let's not talk about what my mom would or wouldn't love right now, alright?"

 

He didn't mention her or camp again the rest of the day.

 

The fifth day, she'd made up her mind. The outside wasn't good or bad. It just was, some things so breathtakingly gorgeous that she had to stop and observe, other things ugly or empty that she could do without. Some of her notes were enhanced with so many details she had to open new notebooks to keep writing − lucky she'd brought several. Some of them, she had to cross out because they proved inaccurate when she was faced with the reality of wild life. She loved it all anyways.

 

By the fifth night, she was colder than ever, lying on the icy ground of the forest, even though Benny had given her his extra blanket. She shivered, her whole body shaking, teeth clattering. An arm wrapped around her waist from behind.

 

"Shh," he said. "Sleep now."

 

 

Nina was tense, but soon Benny's body warmth seeped through his clothing to hers and she didn't even feel the cold anymore. She slept better than she had in years.


	17. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm hits El Barrio.

 

 

The storm broke in the lazy morning when camp was starting to wake up. Daniela had been right in the middle of training one-on-one with Vanessa in the private area she kept to herself and her squad when Vanessa scrunched up her nose, looked up.

 

"Oye, this is training, not bird watching. We have guards for that."

 

" _I know that_ ," she bit out, "It's raining."

 

Daniela held out her palm. A few drops darkened her fingerless gloves.

 

"So I see," she said. "Get back into stance, keep your body lower, your feet are too close to each other."

 

The glare Vanessa gave her might have killed her on the spot if looks could hurt.

 

"What, we're gonna train in the rain?"

 

Daniela took a small break, planting her blade into a nearby dummy. Her forehead was all wet, but it wasn't with sweat from the exercise this time.

 

"We don't have to…"

 

Vanessa sighed in relief and shoved her machete back under her belt. They'd been at it for two hours so far. Vanessa might be good on the field but no one was so good that they didn't need training. Not even Daniela, who made great use of their training facilities every day. It took work to be the best, work that Daniela had always been willing to put in. She wasn't in charge for no reason.

 

"I can always look for someone to take over Benny this week," she added.

 

Vanessa's face fell for just a second, but she just rolled her eyes and pulled her machete back out.

 

"You're impossible, you know that?" She said, though there was the hint of a smile behind that frown.

 

With most dwellers, Daniela would have found a way to get back at them, maybe assigning them to a jurisdiction they'd hate, but Daniela wasn't completely cold-hearted and she found it in her to have fondness towards a select few people. She liked the girl.

 

Training eventually had to be cut short. Vanessa must be happy. What started out as light drizzling very soon turned into heavy drops, bucketfuls of rain pouring down on El Barrio and fighting became near impossible, even for Daniela. Her blade was slipping from her fingers, her boots were soggy and her hair all out of place. She'd have to call for Carla later.

 

"Okay," she admitted. "Maybe we should train after the rain."

 

Thunder interrupted whatever Vanessa was going to say next. She startled and eyed the sky warily.

 

"I need to go find…" She started to say again.

 

"You need to help anyone who might need help," Daniela cut her. "Elite squad or not, you're part of the security team and people are going to get scared and hurt by the storm."

 

She saw the look on Vanessa's face, how she stood her ground, her gaze. Her brows were knitted in all of her grump. At another time, Daniela might have found it endearing. She sighed.

 

"You can check the kitchens first," she conceded.

 

Vanessa ran off without even waiting for further instruction. Daniela huffed.

 

It wasn't rare that El Barrio was struck by unmerry weather, not rare at all. THese days, all they could do was regularly check that the gutters were mostly stable and the water evacuation system worked, and pray that lightning didn't strike camp. Daniela wasn't all that worried. The camp had been through a lot and would without the shadow of a doubt survive another storm.

 

And what a storm it was… Daniela spent the rest of the morning giving out orders here and there, sending messenger kids to tell such and such sector to evacuate their dwellings for the day and purge their pipes, checking in with the farming district for emergency measures to keep the crops from completely drowning, trying to protect the power center, assigning all her security guards, even those off duty today, to handle the mess of people whining everywhere and make sure that no one did anything too stupid or dangerous… Most settlers were helpless in cases of emergency, she had learned ages ago and she counted on her hand the people she could actually trust in such situations. And down the rain poured, and so loud the thunder, so bright the lightning at a short, short distance…

 

Among those few people, she counted Kevin Rosario. Now, Daniela wasn't scared of talking to the Rosarios. She'd lied before, probably to them too at some point, and she would do it again if she had to. But talking to them about their child, the camp's very best, when she knew that Nina was out there in the wild, in this storm, that she'd willingly let her go… Daniela was not looking forward to that at all.

 

"Dios mío, Doña Daniela, there you are!" Kevin welcomed her as soon as she passed the door of the office of the engineering and maintenance team. "This is a hurricane out there!"

 

He saw her frown and corrected himself.

 

"I mean, not a real one, God willing, but the storm is pretty bad…"

 

"Tell me what I need to know, Kevin."

 

He crossed a few items off his notepad, grabbed a note from a passing messenger boy and sighed.

 

"This is pretty bad," he said. "Most houses on the east and north sides of camp have been pierced through to some extent. I have no news from the maintenance team I sent outside to check on the outer walls, hopefully no one got injured, I still can't find Nina anywhere to help me with the power lines and I'm afraid they'll…"

 

His words disappeared into darkness. Barely noon, yet the sky was so dark outside that it might as well have been close to nightfall.

 

"BLACKOUT!" Voices shouted in the square.

 

Daniela pinched the brink of her nose. Just what everyone needed in an already tender situation. Kevin lit up a candle at a record speed.

 

"I should send in some workers to check on that…"

 

"Yes, you should."

 

Daniela was on her way out when Kevin took her arm, not quite grabbing, gently, but in great need of her attention.

 

"So, about Nina…"

 

"What about her?" She asked, stone-faced.

 

They were on the sixth day since Nina had left camp, she knew. She had given them eight. Two more days till she'd have to fill her end of this wager. Or two days till Benny and Nina filled theirs. 

 

"We fought the other day and she's been avoiding the three of us, but it's been six days and Cami is afraid…"

 

"Nina is fine," Daniela said, with none of the certainty her voice suggested. "I saw her earlier today."

 

It was dark in this office, but even then she could see the outline of his shoulders sagging in relief.

 

" _You have_? Lincoln said he hasn't seen Benny in a while either and we were thinking…"

 

"Benny is elite squad," she reminded him. "We're busy."

 

"Right, right…"

 

"If you've had a fight, I suggest you try to think of how to apologize when she accepts to see you again."

 

" _Apologize_?! She was the one being…"

 

"I will see you, Kevin," she replied sharply. "Fix the power supply."

 

She walked out before hearing whatever he might have babbled behind her. Outside, people were running around, children and men and women with no clue what was going on.

 

"Okay, people," she said.

 

Some heads turned to her, most people still panicking. Where was a good functioning radio system when you needed it? Damned blackout.

 

"OKAY!" She repeated, much louder.

 

There was the trick. All the people on the central square, which was most settlers of camp, stopped in their tracks and the kids who didn't got picked up by impatient nearby adults. Water was pouring onto everyone's face. They looked miserable.

 

"Power is out," she said and there were snickers and grumbles around the crowd. "Houses are soaked. Everyone to the dining halls unless you can make yourself useful, otherwise you'll just bother the maintenance team. Dismissed."

 

In a single motion, almost all of them walked towards the large shared dining halls on the other side of the square.

 

"I'm hungry!" A little girl said, grabbing Daniela's leg.

 

Coño, they still hadn't eaten lunch in this whole mess of a morning. Daniela patted the girl's head.

 

"You're right," she said, "So am I. Why don't you go ask Señora Rosario if lunch is ready real quick?"

 

Dealing with Kevin earlier had been uncomfortable but manageable, however Daniela would not put herself in the position of having to deal with his wife of her own free will if she could avoid it. She would keep every and all communication with Camila Rosario strictly third-person-mediated. Inside the dining halls, the biggest room of camp by far, people were piling onto each other from parts to parts. There was crying, mostly from the young ones, and overall the scent of fear. People were holding their loved ones and trying to keep their heads up under the thundering growl of rain on the roof. There was a loud crack and everyone's eyes widened in fear.

 

Daniela tried to spot her squad in the crowd. She found Dana, gestured for her to go check on what the crack might have been immediately. Ted was nowhere to be seen, though she knew he had family on the east side of camp that had been struck the hardest. He was probably already out there, trying to help. And her newly recruited Vanessa…

 

"No me diga," Daniela whispered to herself.

 

On the other side of the room, hidden away, or so they thought but Daniela saw everything, Vanessa was cradling Usnavi in her arms, slowly rocking him back and forth like a little child, a protective arm across his shoulders as his face was practically shoved against her chest. Well, well. The kitchen boy was scared of big storms, it seemed. And needed a good long hug.

 

Daniela happened to cross eyes with Vanessa even from the distance. For a second, she was sad for poor Usnavi as Vanessa tensed up and Daniela was certain she would push him away in shame any second. Lucky for their little friend, Vanessa did no such thing. She held up Daniela's gaze, though not without a frown that Usnavi couldn't see and shook her head. Daniela knew when gossip was urgent and when it could wait and she let them be. For now.

 

Another much less amusing sight was Carla and her Jane huddled together − that alone was lovely, if it weren't for the tears flowing down Jane's cheeks. Daniela made her way towards them through the mass of people sitting everywhere.

 

"Mi amor, what's wrong?" She asked Carla.

 

Carla looked at her with wide eyes, as if she'd only now noticed that Daniela was there. She grabbed her hand, pulled her down to their level on the ground.

 

"It's Sonny," she said as if that explained it. To Jane, she whispered, "We'll find him, I promise."

 

"Sonny?" Daniela frowned.

 

Jane took a few loud breaths, sniffling, and slowly pulled away from Carla's tight embrace.

 

"I shouldn't have let him, I've been… I'm just…"

 

She broke into another sob and Daniela didn't quite catch the rest of what she was saying.

 

"He's out," Carla explained.

 

"He's not due today," Daniela said.

 

She couldn't claim to know the whereabouts of all dwellers, but she knew their assignments. Sonny was a courier, as was his mother, and they weren't due for another mission till three days from now, when Daniela wanted to send them to another small town nearby with a good supply of furs and pelts. If Sonny wasn't supposed to be on a mission, what was he doing out of camp?

 

"He's with that boy," Carla added. "Sharp Pete."

 

Of course, Carla would agree to call the boy by his silly made-up name. Daniela smiled, her thumb stroking Carla's palm.

 

"And they're out because…"

 

"They have this project," Jane said in a shaky voice. "They want to help other settlements. I mean, Sonny wants to, really, but that Pete boy, I got a good feeling about him. They were out to give supplies to another camp today."

 

This was the first Daniela was hearing of such a project, yet Carla seemed to know exactly what Jane was talking about. She would need to investigate that further, but that would need to wait until after the storm, and certainly after the blackout.

 

"Do you want me to send security?" Daniela asked.

 

Jane nodded. Daniela called out to a couple of guards who were passing out food and quickly explained the situation. They nodded and prepared their gear for the outside.

 

 

As she watched them leave, Daniela was not just thinking of Sonny and Pete out there in the wasteland. She thought of Nina and Benny. Daniela wasn't much of a believer, even with all the time she spent with Claudia, but in that moment, she prayed with all her force that they would make it back to camp safely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OYE QUE PASÓ BLACKOUT BLACKOUT VINO EL APAGÓN AY DIOS
> 
> Note that a second chapter will be updated tonight, be on the lookout for that!


	18. The Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and Benny find shelter from the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS ISN'T THE ONLY UPDATE TODAY. The previous chapter is also new from today, it's a chapter about Daniela and a storm, if you haven't read it, make sure you do before reading this one.
> 
> Also note that there is explicit sexual content in this chapter towards the second half of it. 
> 
> For those of you who don't read smut: please read the rest of the chapter. Basically, when you think oh this is getting steamy, well wouldn't you know it, the smut starts, then at the end there's a plot element that you might not wanna miss.

"Hey, Nina," Benny called out.

 

She'd been observing local era in the clearing they'd found the morning of the sixth day. She finished up her sketch, closed up her notebook, and when she looked up, Benny was crouching next to her and handing her a flower.

 

"Look what I found!"

 

Nina recognized it as a rose from her botany books, but it wasn't as beautiful as the grin on Benny's face as her eyes widened at it.

 

"I've never seen a rose before," she confided, a whisper, but she did not need to be ashamed of her inexperience, not with Benny.

 

"Well, it's yours now," he said, handing it to her.

 

She held up her hand to have a look at it, so beautiful and intricate, but quickly pulled it back − the thorn had pricked her finger.

 

"Ouch…"

 

"Let me…"

 

He took her hand in his, brought the finger to his lips and gave it a kiss. Her breath hitched and there was a pause where they stared at each other, not quite smiling but not _not_ smiling. A drop of water cut the awkwardness short. A drop on her nose, another on his hand, soon dozens, hundreds, thousands.

 

"A storm!" She cried out needlessly.

 

Benny was the first to react.

 

"Your things, quick!"

 

He picked up his blade and his backpack, and even hers, while she scrambled to shove her current notes in her pockets. Rain was pouring down thick and heavy and she could barely see anything in front of her.

 

"There's a cave up there," Benny shouted through the thunder already growling. "Come with me."

 

He grabbed her hand, pulling her through this mess of a thunderstorm, through the woods, until finally they ran inside a small cave that she hadn't even noticed. They crashed onto the ground with relief, the bags falling from Benny's back and, just sharing one look, they both chuckled at the same time.

 

"Well, there goes our plan for the rest of the day. Hope we make it to the City…"

 

Benny started building a fire with some rocks and branches he'd found laying around the cave as she put some order in her things. She thanked God that she'd had the sense to keep her notebooks buried under her blanket in her backpack. Most of them weren't wet at all, and her commonplace book in her lab coat pocket was only damp. She held the pages near the fire, not too close to the flames, and they got almost completely dry in a matter of minutes. Some drawings were smudged, but thankfully most of them were preserved. The fire was crackling pleasantly as Benny loaded it with a few more branches. She crossed eyes with him and they smiled.

 

"Think it's gonna last long?" He asked, nodding towards the outside.

 

She peered through the thick curtain of rain pouring down out their little cave. The sky was almost as dark as if it was dusk, even early in the day as they were.

 

"It might," she said. "I think we'll be here a while."

 

"Lucky I'm in great company, then," he replied and she had to look away, smile on her lips still. "Your clothes wet?"

 

She palmed her coat.

 

"Yeah," she sighed. "Darn it."

 

She took it off. The sweater underneath was fine, but her shoes and jeans were soaked.

 

"Mine too," he said. "Should have oiled the armor before leaving…"

 

"You oil your armor?" She smirked.

 

He snorted.

 

"How 'bout instead of making fun of an innocent squad member who respects recommended care for their armor, you get your ass out of your wet clothes so you don't die of a cold?" He teased.

 

She shook her head, gestured for him to turn around. He made a show of it, pretending to sigh, putting his hands on his eyes. As fast as she could, she got rid of her shoes, her soaked through socks, her wet jeans, and set them by the fire to dry.

 

"No peeking," she said.

 

"Course not," Benny replied. "Wouldn't dream of it."

 

She searched through her bag, pulling out the thin blanket she'd packed in the urge of leaving camp as soon as she could. Carefully, she tried to make a comfortable little nest, covering her bare legs, though she still felt more than a little cold.

 

"Alright, you can turn around."

 

He turned back around, and gulped when he saw her sitting there, just a fraction of a second before getting back to his usual good-natured smirk.

 

"For you," he said, "You don't even need to turn."

 

She snorted, but certainly didn't look away when he started taking off his own things. Guns off, blade off, putting them down not too far away, arm distance. Gauntlets and upper armor off and there was nothing under that but a thin black undershirt. He hesitated and looked in her eyes before taking off the lower armor, and there was nothing but his boxers underneath yet Nina did not mind anything about this whatsoever. _What would my parents say_ , she thought, and immediately pushed the thought away, because she was here precisely because she did not care what they thought. Benny grabbed a blanket of his own and joined her by the fire, holding up his hands to the flames to warm them up.

 

"This is nice," he said.

 

"Yeah,"  she said, staring at the outside. "It is."

 

For the longest time, neither of them said anything, just looking straight ahead at the rain in front of them. There wasn't much to do in a small cave like this one.

 

"Hopefully we can make it on time by the day after tomorrow," he said. "Ms Daniela will kill me if she has to explain this to your parents…"

 

Ah, yes. The promise of making it back before eight days and pretend they'd never been gone at all. Nina wasn't stupid. She wasn't, she knew her parents would know long before that time limit, yet the longer her trip with Benny went, the less she thought about them. So what if they got worried sick? She had other things to care about now. She was outside camp, and the happenings of El Barrio weren't her business for another couple days.

 

"My parents can suck it," Nina said and instantly stuck a hand in front of her mouth in shame.

 

Benny chuckled, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

 

"Yeah, they can."

 

How odd it was that she felt just like home in this place that they'd just walked into, a dark narrow cave with a small fire as their only source of heat and light, everything she owned some level of wet. She rested her head against Benny and knew exactly why she felt like this. Then she sneezed.

 

"Shit, are you cold?"

 

Reluctantly, she nodded. Nina had never been one to suffer the cold all that well. Back in camp, she had a special heating unit incorporated to her lab, where she spent the most time, and her room was warm enough, tightly trapped between other well heated rooms. But here in the wasteland, there was nothing to fight the cold except whatever fire they managed to build and each other.

 

"Let me," he said.

 

He leaned back to grab something from his backpack − a shirt, she saw − and he carefully grabbed a rock that was laying by the fire, wrapping the shirt all around it so it wouldn't burn. Then he turned back to her and placed it against her stomach cautiously. A gentle little package against her sweater, enough to keep her all warm, enough to burn up her heart.

 

"There," he said. "It works, right?"

 

He could barely finish the sentence − she cut him with a kiss. Nina _had_ kissed boys before, not many, not often, but she wasn't completely clueless, yet nothing had ever come close to what kissing Benny felt like. The very thought of cold was completely forgotten as he responded, instantly, and his chest was so warm under her hands. His hands were cupping her face, strong against her, maybe the strongest person she'd ever known, and the air was filled with the scent of smoke and rain and everything was perfect. The kiss went on, and on, and on, and she never wanted to leave this cave.

 

"Nina…" He whispered when they broke for breath, foreheads touching.

 

She snaked her arms around his neck to kiss him some more. Maybe this was what she'd been looking for the most, maybe this was just something that felt good in spur of the moment, but she was absolutely certain of one thing: right now, kissing Benny was the most important thing in the world.

 

"Benny?" She whispered in kind after a while.

 

"Mmh?"

 

He was kissing her cheek, her jaw, her neck, burying his face in her wet hair.

 

"I'm still a bit cold," she lied.

 

She felt his smirk against her neck without seeing it. His hands were at her waist, pulling her close, and she marveled at how hot his skin was.

 

"I'm sure I can make you warm again," he promised, nibbling at her skin at her neck.

 

"If you would be so kind…"

 

The shirt-wrapped rock lay forgotten and unneeded now on the ground as Nina climbed onto Benny's lap, where she felt she had always belonged. His kisses were hotter than the fire he'd built and his body was hard under her hands. _How could he not be cold in just a tank top?_ But he wasn't. His hands were on her thighs, climbing up, riding up under her sweater, flat against her stomach, and higher up, his skin warming up every part of her.

 

"I'm so fucking happy," he said, every word cut by a kiss against her skin, "That you knocked on my door and not anyone else's."

 

His hands went back down, toying at her underwear, not indulging her with removing it. His thumb was brushing against her through the fabric, too pressing to be teasing, too light to give any real friction.

 

"I couldn't pick anyone else," she said. "Not if I could have _you_."

 

"You can have all of me," he replied and kissed her, and as he kissed her, his fingers dipped under her underwear, one sliding inside her, others brushing her clit and she'd never felt sexy in her whole life but in this moment, the way Benny buried his face into her neck, breathing in sharply, she felt like the most beautiful woman alive.

 

"Benny…" she moaned.

 

"Fuck," he whispered. "Fuck, you're so…"

 

In her awkward position, resting almost only on Benny's body, she slid her hand between them, trying to pass under the waistband of his boxers. He kissed her cheek, nibbled on her ear as he got himself out of the culprit garment. Under her palm, his dick was quickly filling out, thick and hard and she briefly thought of Daniela, a smile at her lips in fond memory of the gossip that turned out to be true.

 

"I want you," she said.

 

"You wanna…?"

 

He was hard as rock already, and rolling his hips with her hand, just slightly, enough for her to want more, to want _everything_.

 

"Yeah," she said.

 

She pulled his hand away and raised her hips just enough to slowly sink down onto him.

 

"God, yeah…"

 

"Fuck…" He said again, his thighs clenching under her.

 

As she slowly sat back down, his length deliciously pressing into her, stretching her, his hands were at her waist, keeping her steady. She needed it, for sure − a big guy, this Benny, this was not _not_ uncomfortable, but she thought the sting was excellent. When she was full of him whole, she leaned back from his neck where it smelled the most like him and where he was so warm, and his eyes were gentle on hers.

 

"Nina…" He brushed a hand against her cheek, pushing back a curl of hair behind her ear.

 

His hips pushing up, hers rolling down, they made one. He leaned down to kiss her and when the kiss broke, the embrace didn't, foreheads touching, arms tightly wrapped around each other. A hand of his slid down and with every thrust he took care of her, fingers on her clit, and she didn't know how they never did this sooner. The outside worked in mysterious ways.

 

"I been wanting that for a _long_ time," he whispered against her ear, as if he'd heard her thoughts. "When I'm on my own, all I can think about is how I want to make love to you for hours."

 

Her breath caught in her throat − she could not say if he was playing her or if this was genuine, but either way, it was working. If he was telling the truth, they had all the time in the world to do it, far away from prying eyes and close quarters where privacy was never an option. His fingers were insistent and busy at her clit and she could not stand it any longer. She stopped feeling anxious, she stopped feeling self-conscious and indebted to anyone. This was all too real, what she had, what _they_ had. They could make something great.

 

A hand between her legs, the other on her hip going with her moves, Benny was beautiful, and she knew that he was kind and gentle and really cared about her. For once in her life, Nina was going to stop overthinking. She let him treat her, she let herself enjoy it, and soon he got her to tip over the edge, legs shaking, toes curling in, as she rode out the last of it on top of him. A few last times, she felt him buck up inside her, his arms holding her so, so close, and she could have turned into a puddle for all she knew, nuzzling against Benny's neck, arms around his shoulders, resting entirely on him. He grunted and she felt him grab her butt to pull out at the last moment and he came on the ground of the cave. They remained there, tightly entwined, breathing slowly catching up.

 

"I wanna stay like this," she said finally.

 

"What, like this?" He chuckled. "I mean, if I scoot back, I can rest on the wall. We can stay like this all day if the storm keeps going, even sleep like this if you want."

 

His hands were running up and down her thighs, waking up a thousand new sensations again. She nodded lazily. She wouldn't mind a day like this, cuddled against Benny. He pulled on the blankets to cover her again and she realized she was still in her dirty sweater. So much for romance.

 

"I don't mean _like this_ ," she said. "Not just. I mean out here, with you."

 

His hands quieted, resting on her butt, keeping her as close to him as he could, but even without him speaking she could sense he was pensive.

 

"You want that?" He asked softly.

 

He pressed a kiss on her head, in her hair, breathing her in. She had never felt so relaxed in her entire life. She nodded again.

 

"What about camp?" He asked.

 

Camp had been the last thing on her mind the past six days, and she intended to keep it that way if she could. She had never felt better in her entire life, in the middle of a storm of all times, and she did not think that the fact that she'd been away from camp was unrelated.

 

"I don't care," she said. "Not now. We'll see. Now, I want you. Forever."

 

She leaned back a little to look into his eyes.

 

"Forever," he repeated. "Sounds nice enough."

 

 

Relieved, she nestled back against his chest. Forever with just Benny in the wasteland sounded nice enough for her too.


	19. The Hideout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete and Sonny find shelter from the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took this long to update, I've had hand pains as well as keyboard troubles but both are getting better now.

 

 

Pete was definitely getting used to spending time with Sonny. Not even just out on their job but also around camp. He woke up in the morning and joined Sonny for breakfast in the common halls and together they walked around El Barrio, helping people as they could before helping some more on the outside. For the first time in his life, Pete was forging a bond with someone other than Vanessa and daunting as the prospect would have been before they found the settlement only a few shorts weeks ago, it was all smooth and natural now that it was happening.

 

Sonny and Pete's mission had been particularly successful. Sonny's cousin had somehow managed to talked his supervisor into making an extra batch of pastry, because Sonny firmly believed that every settlement should eat cake from time to time. They had also gathered up spare clothes  and clean bandages and walked all of yesterday to bring them to a settlement Sonny had talked much about, and the traveling part too, Pete was getting used to, all too easily. It was his favorite part.

 

Of course, it was partly because he was much more familiar in that regard. Sonny might know everything about camp but Pete, he'd spent his whole life wandering and even now that he'd settled in El Barrio, all that knowledge he'd built over the years with Vanessa was not going to waste. Sonny wasn't completely clueless about the wasteland, of course. He was out here all the time. But Pete knew that he actually had skills in this one area that was wasteland survival and he couldn't help show them off a little bit. When they came across a stream turned into a river by the recent rain falls, Pete offered to carry Sonny across. When they crossed a field of flowers that Sonny marveled at, Pete told him about that time Vanessa and him got hunted down by a pack of bloodhounds. When Sonny told him he'd never had fresh cactus juice, Pete brought down his dagger into one and together they drank a flask full and got dizzy.

 

It was easy to talk to Sonny. Of course, Sonny still did most of the talking, even now. But as time went on, it became all the easier to open up. Pete no longer felt as awkward making quick jokes, teasing Sonny around, being his true self. When he told Vanessa about it, she patted his shaven head down and made awful kissy noises. Pete felt horribly embarrassed and tried not to mention Sonny again in her presence.

 

It was better this way. If he kept his friendship with Sonny just between the two of them, it was all the more special anyways. He could keep things from Vanessa if he wanted. Not in the sneaking around way, of course. He didn't even need to − Vanessa was plenty busy for Pete to lead a life of his own without her knowing all the details, which he found that he enjoyed. With a lot of time on his own, Pete could gravitate towards his own interests beyond trusting Vanessa to get them fed from day to day.

 

That night at the camp they'd delivered their donation to, they broke bread and ate with the settlers, bonding and that too was something entirely new. Not so much staying in a settlement, of course. Vanessa and him had had to find shelter in the past too and most camps accepted to take in travelers for a meal and a night. What was new was the smiles and the pats on his back and the camaraderie. The feeling of being appreciated rather than suspected, the feeling of belonging. The old looks, the wary shuffling around, trying to avoid him and Vanessa, they simply didn't happen anymore. The simple fact was that Pete and Sonny were doing good in the world and no such thing could have been said of him and Vanessa, the thieves they'd been. They'd done what they needed to survive. Only now that he was spreading good did Pete realize how much it mattered to him. He was starting to forget what it was like to be hungry and to fight for the next meal.

 

The storm came as a brutal reminder. They were on the way back, Sonny in the middle of a story, and Pete was smiling when the rain started to fall. Sonny instantly looked panicked.

 

"Yo, come quick!" Pete said.

 

Survival skills, once learned, never really seemed to leave. Pete scanned the place. He recognized it, of course he did. He'd scouted this region for a long time. Down the hill, hidden away under the thick trees, he knew of a little place that was exactly what they needed. Sonny's hand in his, he ran through the woods under the thickening rain. Thunder was starting to crack when he opened the door and shoved Sonny inside to protect him from the storm. They took a few steps in, dropping their bags on the floor as rain battered against the walls.

 

"… What is this place?" Sonny asked.

 

Pete hated himself for this, for having to say it and disappoint Sonny, but he would not hide the truth, not when it was so plainly before their eyes.

 

"It's a hideout," he replied. "Empty most of the time, it's just for emergencies like this."

 

Sonny sat down on one of the ratty armchairs from before the Explosions, by the look of them, taking in everything around him in the small shack.

 

"You got your own hideout?" He whistled, impressed. "Man, it's got beds and shit, that's so cool."

 

"It's not mine," Pete sighed.

 

He sat across from Sonny, staring at his hands. For maybe the first time in his life, he was feeling ashamed.

 

"What d'you mean?"

 

"It's… erm, it's a raiders hideout. From a raiders band."

 

Sonny's smile disappeared until he forced it back on, inquisitive.

 

"Why you taking me to a raiders hideout?" He asked in a strained voice.

 

Pete's heart was thumping at his ears and he hated it, how it made him feel.

 

"Me and Vanessa, we used to work for them sometimes. When we were on our own."

 

He didn't dare look at Sonny, how he must be judging him. His foot began tapping of its own accord, his legs and hands shaking. Before he could control himself, the words left his mouth.

 

"Please don't hate me."

 

Radio silence from Sonny made him glance his way. Sonny had been gaping but shut his mouth as soon as his eyes found Pete's. His face was unreadable.

 

"You… You worked with raiders? Petie, they're bad people…"

 

"I know that!" Pete retorted. "And we didn't work _with_ them, we sometimes worked _for_ them, like, missions and shit… It was a long time ago, before Vanessa could just…"

 

He stopped in his tracks. Sharing his past was something, but sharing Vanessa's was something else entirely. A boundary he wouldn't dare breach. Sonny breathed deeply a few times and looked calmer by the end of it.

 

"Well, them nasty raiders, they got great taste," he commented. "This place is dope."

 

Pete stared in unbelief before snorting.

 

"I guess."

 

He was grateful for the distraction the storm offered from what would have otherwise been intense awkward silence. He knelt down by the fire place to get some light in this shack, with the sky outside darkening by the minute. A lightning broke the heavens outside and startled Sonny, who made himself tiny in his armchair.

 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Pete said finally.

 

The raiders always packed the place with wood. The fire was cracking pleasantly and he felt much warmer already. He hung his coat near the fire to get it dry, and Sonny's after he handed it to him as well. After his confession, Pete didn't much feel like he was worth talking with Sonny like an equal and remained sitting there on the floor by the fire. He felt a hand on his shoulder and to his surprise, Sonny sat down next to him.

 

"Is alright," Sonny said.

 

By his tone, Pete guessing that it wasn't really alright, only that Sonny was choosing to pretend it was.

 

"The wasteland," Pete explained. "It's tough. We were just kids… You know, Van lost her mom the day she found me?"

 

Sonny shook his head. There was a kindness in his eyes Pete wasn't sure he deserved.

 

"I don't even remember, I mean, I was three, the only thing I remember is that we've always had to fight."

 

Sonny's hand found his on their lap, their fingers entwining. Pete held his breath.

 

"Tell me more," Sonny whispered.

 

He leaned his head against Pete's shoulder, both of them watching the fire. The sound of rain was loud, would have covered their words if they weren't so close to each other.

 

"We _never_ liked it," he stated, because that had to be made absolutely clear. "Taking missions from them. And we never harmed anyone, it was just, ya know, stealing and shit."

 

Sonny nodded and against his shoulder, Pete could feel his curls tickling his skin.

 

"And that was a long time ago too, when Vanessa got older we found other ways too."

 

He paused. He had never really given too much thought to his past before it did become the past and not just his daily life. Some things that never seemed anything special back them seemed so odd and foreign to him now he could barely believe the boy he had been.

 

"But yeah, the raiders, sometimes we met up here, and that's how I know the place."

 

Sonny nodded again, lazily almost, as if Pete had been telling him a normal campfire story instead of his life's tragedy.

 

"I think you were very brave," Sonny said. "I've never… I mean, I've never been on my own, I've always got my mom and Usnavi and Abuela."

 

He squeezed Pete's fingers and Pete had never known such a normal gesture could mean so much.

 

"I'm different now," he said.

 

"I know," Sonny replied. "I like it. I like _you_."

 

The world swirled around them outside, the storm raging for hours, but right here inside this little shack, there was nothing that could touch Pete and Sonny. It became obvious to Pete that Sonny wasn't holding his past against him and he felt a special pulse going through him that he'd never felt before. He didn't know it, just that he liked it.

 

The winds blew and the rain fell and the thunder groaned till well into the next day, but Pete had slept like a baby. Curled up against him, Sonny was still snoring when he heard the shouts.

 

"Sonny! Pete!" Voices came from outside, voices Pete had recently learned to recognize.

 

He shook Sonny awake. Sonny squinted his eyes, as if he was trying to remember where and with whom he was, and tried to shut them tight again but Pete shook him again, a little less gently.

 

"A'ight, a'ight, I'm up then…" Sonny said, but it took another few minutes for him to even move a muscle.

 

Outside, they found security guards from El Barrio who told them they'd been searching for them since the thickest moment of the storm. They looked like they wanted to tell them off, but were also terribly relieved to see them and didn't dare say anything of the sort. Sonny and Pete let themselves be walked back to camp like two disobedient boys.

 

 

When they stepped back into camp, they saw that the power was off, that the radio tower had been hit by lightning, and everyone looked miserable. El Barrio was a mess.


	20. The Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usnavi cannot be happier that Sonny safely made it back to camp.

Usnavi was well aware that he was just a little bit on this side of too overbearing for Sonny, thank you very much. He cared a lot and he would keep on caring till the day he died, knowing he'd been full of love for his cousin all the days of his life.

 

All during the storm and the blackout, he and his aunt had been terrified for little Sonny out there almost on his own. Jane had spent the night with her girlfriend, of course, always counting on Carla's support and comfort. And Usnavi, well, he did not know if he ought to feel proud or ashamed that he'd needed and gotten Vanessa's support. She'd come find him just a bit before the blackout hit everyone, tried to take him to safety, but soon they'd realized that nowhere in camp was really safe. Together, they'd found a semblance of peace in the dining halls with everyone, and he would never forget the feel of her arms around him, but he'd still felt the fear deep in the pit of his stomach.

 

The next day brought him back his cousin and he didn't know who was more relieved, him and Jane to see Sonny's stupid little adorable face or Vanessa when she pulled Pete into a soul-crushing hug before breaking it and punching his shoulder.

 

"Coño, you two never do that again or I'll gut you," she told him.

 

"It's not like we could have predicted a storm," Sonny pouted.

 

Vanessa was palming Pete's arms, making sure he was okay in her own ways, as was Jane with her son − the way they both acted was strikingly similar to Usnavi who just stood by his cousin, an arm around his shoulders, relief alleviating him already.

 

"You need to eat," he declared.

 

It was early in the morning still, well into his shift but not quite time to deliver yet − he'd been told about his cousin being back while he was still on duty and had left his post immediately to come pick it up. When he walked back in with the lost boys and their respective guardians, Señora Rosario eyed them suspiciously but didn't say a word, even as they sat down at the table and Usnavi began taking breakfast rations from the baskets soon to be delivered for the four of them − he'd eat later, of course, priority to the other four.

 

"We were _so_ worried," Jane said, watching her son eat without even taking a bite of her own breakfast.

 

"What the fuck did you two even do?" Vanessa asked.

 

From where she was sitting, going over some plans, Camila Rosario tutted at Vanessa's language.

 

"I mean, we were near the sunflower field, you know the one? Near the woods?" Pete told Vanessa, though he was constantly glancing back at  Sonny next to him.

 

"And when the storm hit, Pete knew a shack nearby and we got shelter there," Sonny finished.

 

Vanessa gulped, trying to hide it as if she was just eating, but Usnavi didn't miss it. He said nothing.

 

"The shack by the field?" She asked.

 

Pete nodded. Another look between them that Usnavi didn't understand.

 

"And you didn't…?"

 

"Everything's fine," Sonny said, in on it, apparently, and at this point, Usnavi didn't even bother asking − he was used to being the third, fourth, fifth wheel left out.

 

"We're lucky to have you back," he told Sonny, messing with his hair. "Nina has Benny out there, but you were out with only just Pete, me and your aunt, we were worried sick."

 

He instantly knew he'd made a mistake by the look on Vanessa's face and his hand shot up to cover his mouth, but to no avail. Before he could add anything, Camila Rosario was looming over him and her eyes could have killed him.

 

" _What did you say?!_ " She bit out. " _What the hell did you say?!_ "

 

He could feel everyone's eyes on him, and though his aunt, Sonny and Pete seemed to mean well, Vanessa was shooting daggers at him as well.

 

"I… bueno… I'm, erm…"

 

"What do you know about Nina?" She said. "Dios mío, I _knew_ something was wrong, seven days, no one is mad that long…"

 

Under the table, Vanessa kicked him and he tried not to wince.

 

"Usnavi," Señora Rosario growled. "Don't make me ask you twice."

 

He crossed Vanessa's eyes again, just once, and she looked away. He did not feel like he had any other option than honesty, though to what extent, he was still unsure.

 

"She's in the outside?" He said.

 

Camila Rosario pinched her eyes in frustration.

 

"Details, boy."

 

"She's, erm, she's with Benny and they should be back tomorrow?"

 

"How did you know about this?"

 

He sure did not miss the sudden panic in Vanessa's eyes. Fine. If he had indeed made a horrible mistake, then at least he would own up to it on his own and not drag her into this. Then maybe he'd have a chance of her ever forgiving him.

 

"From, erm…" Vanessa shook her head ever so slightly. "From Doña Daniela. She let 'em out."

 

Vanessa facepalmed as several people gasped. Camila Rosario was looking straight up furious and he did not want to be there when her anger was going to burst.

 

"Oh, she's gonna hear all about it…" She said. Then she barked at the rest of the room. "So what then? Get to work, everyone! I don't need lazy idlers on my team, carajo!"

 

She dashed out of the room and everyone started to finish their current task as frantically as humanly possible. Usnavi barely dared look up under Vanessa's surely equally furious eyes.

 

"So I'm gonna _go_ …" Jane said, grabbing Sonny's hand and dragging him with her.

 

Pete patted Vanessa's shoulder on his way out and one moment, Usnavi was surrounded by the buzz of activity and the next, everyone was out on their next duty or on delivery rounds and all that was left was him and Vanessa's disappointment.

 

"I'm sorry!" He blurted out before she could even say anything.

 

She tore a piece of bread off her loaf, ate it slowly, picked up an apple before finally shrugging.

 

"It's fine," she sighed.

 

His legs were shaking uncontrollably and he tried to look calm and casual by grabbing a ration of breakfast for himself as well, biting into an apple, to absolutely no effect.

 

"I mean, I wasn't try'na… It just. Slipped out…"

 

"I said it's fine."

 

"A'ight… I'm just… I'm sorry."

 

She finished her apple, threw the core across the room and it landed exactly in the trash.

 

"You were worried about your little one," she said. "It's what you do. That's why I… That's why you're you."

 

He nodded, suddenly filled again with the feeling that Vanessa and him were in sync. She played around with the rest of her breakfast before finally meeting his eyes. He gave his best attempt at smiling, to which she snorted, but he saw fondness in her eyes rather than pity or anger.

 

"Thanks for not ratting me out," she said, picked a piece of bacon off his plate that he had barely touched.

 

"Señora Rosario is a bit, well…"

 

"Terrifying?" Vanessa suggested with a smirk.

 

"Yeah," he breathed out. "When she's angry."

 

"She sounds like she's often angry."

 

He looked around to make sure that his boss wasn't secretly listening in, before nodding.

 

"Yeah, kinda."

 

"Well, I guess that's where Nina gets her bite from," Vanessa said with a smile.

 

There was affection in her eyes. He realized he didn't really know where Vanessa and Nina had stood before her and Benny left for their stay in the wasteland.

 

"So, erm, you think Nina and Benny are safe?"

 

Vanessa shrugged.

 

"No way to tell, right? But she's smart, she'll get by."

 

"She really is," he nodded. "Smartest in El Barrio for sure."

 

Something in Vanessa's eyes shifted, but Usnavi felt helpless that despite noticing it, he wasn't able to pinpoint her expression at all. Some people were open books, like Benny or Carla, but others were a mystery and even though sometimes, Usnavi felt like he understood her perfectly, moments like these reminded him that he still knew so little about Vanessa and what prompted something in her, what made her upset.

 

"You close to her?" She asked.

 

"I mean, kinda," he replied. "Everybody loves Nina."

 

The frown didn't leave her face.

 

"I mean you and her specifically."

 

He _had_ known Nina pretty much since the day she was born, though he'd been a baby at the time as well. He nodded.

 

"We both from El Barrio," he explained. "Always known her, she's so smart, everyone is proud of her."

 

And _then,_ he thought he recognized what was in Vanessa's eyes. Jealousy. Of course she'd be interested in Nina, of course she would hate him for whatever she perceived in his words. He hated himself more than anything in that moment, because really, how could he ever fall in love with a beautiful, strong woman such as Vanessa when she didn't care for him? How could he ever have thought he could compete with Nina, their best on camp?

 

"Well, then I guess it's obvious you trust she'll be fine," Vanessa said, perhaps more sharply than he was used from her.

 

She stood up, grabbing an extra apple, her face, body all vindicative. She really didn't need to be. It wasn't like Usnavi was ever going to make a move on Nina, not just because he would have no chance with her, so engrossed she already was in his best friend and so out of his league anyways, but also most importantly because that would have been as revolting as making a move on his own cousin of same flesh and blood. He needed to tell Vanessa that if she had to worry about someone, it shouldn't be him.

 

"Vanessa, I'm sorry, I…"

 

"I gotta go," she cut him. "Daniela is probably gonna be looking for me and I don't wanna be her punching ball today. See ya."

 

 

She left without a glance back. He didn't see her for the rest of the day.


	21. The Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniela's decision to let Nina out to the wasteland catches up to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry I didn't update in so long, friends. Here are some of the things I've had to deal with only this week: my sister (who I live with) having a septicemia and going to the hospital, having a mild tendinitis myself, getting sick, having keyboard lag issues, suffering from work related stress. Fun stuff. Also this chapter was unbelievably hard to write.

There were extremely few things in this world that Daniela feared. She feared for Carla's safety, of course, but she had four guards assigned to watching her without her knowing at all times and that set her mind to peace. She feared raiders' attacks on El Barrio, but she had trained her elite squad to prevent them and they hadn't seen an open assault on camp in a while. But as she saw Camila barge into her office like a hurricane, worse than any storm, she gulped and knew that she would be adding another item to that list and that nothing could assuage it.

 

"WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!"

 

There was a vein popping at her forehead and she was the scariest sight Daniela had ever beheld.

 

"Nina, huh…"

 

" _Of course Nina!_ How many daughters do I have?!"

 

Daniela wanted to crawl back into her seat at her desk. She wanted to hide under it, maybe, and wait for Camila to tire herself out. She breathed in, looking at Camila straight between the eyes to not have to see the fire of them. Daniela was many things. She was brave and considered herself gorgeous, and she was organized and assertive. She was, however, _not_ a coward.

 

"What do you want to know?" She asked, biting back a sigh.

 

Camila was pacing − you could practically feel the steam emanating off her body. Daniela leaned back ever casually in her seat, taking up space, arms crossed behind her head. Self-esteem was not just a state of mind, it was actions, attitude, and she wanted to radiate confidence through all the pores of her body if she was going to be a satisfactory leader. How she actually felt was irrelevant.

 

" _What do I want to know?!_ Daniela, I haven't seen my daughter in seven days and now Usnavi tells me she's _on the outside_ with Benny? And that _you_ let her out?"

 

_Own up._ Daniela didn't believe in admitting mistakes. She believed in never making mistakes in the first place. Everything she'd done, she would freely admit.

 

"Yes, I did."

 

"Coño, Daniela, you told Kevin you saw her the other day! You _lied_. Do you have anything to say for yourself?!"

 

Daniela allowed herself a sharp breath.

 

"I did let Nina out of camp, because she was going to leave with or without my permission."

 

Camila's rage itself could power up the whole camp as she sat down opposite Daniela and for a second she feared Camila would break the chair, burst it into flames.

 

"You better explain yourself. And you better do it quick, or I swear to God…"

 

She left the sentence unfinished and Daniela repressed a shiver from running through her.

 

"Nina always wanted to see the outside. She left after your fight, Benny went with her. She asked me not to tell."

 

Camila opened her mouth, closed it, pinched the brink of her nose.

 

"I was afraid this'd happen."

 

Daniela must have shown her surprise on her face, because Camila's anger toned down the slightest bit, resignation taking over.

 

"Kevin was always the one who… Well, it doesn't matter now, does it? She's escaped the net."

 

"They promised to be back tomorrow," Daniela said.

 

Of course, that was an overstatement. Daniela had given the order, but what these two stubborn kids would do with it was entirely up to them. But Daniela liked to believe that she still had some form of authority and influence over at least Benny, her direct second in line. He'd be back.

 

"Daniela, if anything happened to my daughter…"

 

"Benny is my second," Daniela said firmly. "He is almost my equal in every area. Would you trust her on the outside with me?"

 

Wrong thing to say, she realized immediately.

 

" _You don't have children,_ " Camila spat out. "You cannot possibly understand what it feels like to worry yourself sick for a week and have a… a _kitchen boy_ tell you your supposed leader sneaked your own child out of camp! I wouldn't trust _anyone_ with my daughter."

 

Daniela thought of Carla and of that fateful day the raiders from the South had struck El Barrio and cut down nine of their workers in the farming sector before security took them out. Carla's parents had been among the lost, making four orphans in a day. That had been fifteen years ago. Daniela had provided homes for Caden, Carlos, Camilo and Carla. The three boys were teenagers, old enough to work on the farm already, but Carla was still a girl and Daniela had taken a particular liking for her somehow. She loved Carla with all her heart, had sacrificed all she could for her. But as she dared look into Camila Rosario's eyes and saw the love of a mother who had borne and raised her girl all the days of her life, she understood that nothing could come close to that.

 

"What do you want me to do?" She asked earnestly.

 

"Find her," Camila said. "Find my daughter. You know where she went, right?"

 

A weaker woman would have squirmed in her seat at the question, knowing the answer would not please Camila. Daniela was strong. She sat straight and answered the simple truth.

 

"She didn't say."

 

"Dios mío, Daniela, I cannot believe that you're a part of this!"

 

"Cami…"

 

"Don't!" Camila raised a hand. "Don't you dare give excuses."

 

Daniela nodded slowly.

 

"You're going to send the best of your best," Camila said. Didn't ask, didn't beg. "I don't care who. They're going to go outside and find my child or I swear to God, this settlement is being renamed Camp Los Rosarios tomorrow and I cannot vouch for your life."

 

Camila left the room in a cloud of anger and authority and Daniela thanked heavens that no one had witnessed the conversation. Camila Rosario was a force of nature. Daniela prided herself in being the exact same thing but she had to recognize when she met her match. She was ever grateful that the healing hut had been empty when Camila barged in − this was not a conversation she'd have been proud to have in front of Claudia.

 

"Go fetch me Vanessa," she told a messenger boy waiting for orders on the outside.

 

The boy nodded and dashed away, leaving Daniela to her thoughts in the empty office. Vanessa had moved out the other day, directly to the elite squad quarters. She was fitting in perfectly. It did not come as a surprise to Daniela that she would, of course. Not only were Cuddly Ted and Dana two good-hearted individuals (who also happened to be extremely talented with a gun in their hand), but Vanessa had grown since she'd arrived in El Barrio. She was having a drink with them at the tavern more nights than not and every morning she had breakfast with the guilty kitchen boy. She was opening up. Yesterday, when Daniela had entered the office, she had found her sitting on a bed of the healing hut and Claudia fussing with her shoulder (a mild scratch, thank God), and where Vanessa would have refused any medical aid a month earlier, she had listened to Claudia's instructions and accepted the bandage without question. She was turning into someone Daniela needed on her team.

 

"You asked to see me?"

 

Daniela gestured for Vanessa to sit. Blank-faced. She realized Vanessa might have been worried and soothed those fears right away.

 

"You're not in trouble," she said.

 

_I am_ , she didn't say.

 

"Right," Vanessa said, her tight jaw relaxing.

 

Daniela noticed that her hair looked maybe a little bit better than usual today, like her braids were more carefully done, her outfit all cleaned up, new bracelets at her wrists after the traders visited yesterday. She was all dolled up, in so much as a soldier girl on her squad could be called 'dolled up'. Daniela was certain she knew for whom.

 

"Usnavi spilled the beans," she said. "Camila is furious."

 

Vanessa had the grace to look down bashfully.

 

"Yeah," she admitted. "I was there when he did. I'm… I'm sorry."

 

"You were the one who told him," Daniela said.

 

She didn't need to ask, really. Unless the two escaped lovebirds had told anyone else, which Daniela doubted, Vanessa had been the only one aware of the truth of the situation. She nodded.

 

"I just… I told him I was on the squad now and I wanted to…"

 

She shrugged and another day, Daniela wanted to know what it was Vanessa wanted to do, but there were pressing matters at hand.

 

"Nina needs to come home," she said. "And you're going to bring her back."

 

Vanessa's eyes widened.

 

"Where's she?"

 

"That's what you're going to find out," Daniela said.

 

Vanessa frowned quizzically.

 

"How the fuck am I supposed to do that?"

 

Daniela turned around to her personal steel safe hidden behind Claudia's shelf of herb balms. That was where she stored her most prized possessions. She pulled out a gun and handed it to Vanessa.

 

"This is better than your trinket. Take it." Vanessa weighed the handgun and holstered it. "And take the direction of the City. Nina always wanted to visit, she'll be on her way back now."

 

Vanessa nodded.

 

"When do I leave?"

 

Daniela pondered on that. Technically, Nina _had_ promised to be back the next day.

 

"If they're not back tomorrow, you'll leave. Immediately."

 

"A'ight."

 

"Don't come back without Nina, and do it as fast as you can."

 

"Gotcha."

 

She suddenly looked like she wanted to ask something, biting her lip, but the frown not gone from her face.

 

"Can I take someone with me?" She asked before Daniela could ask what the fuss was.

 

That took her aback.

 

"If you want," she said carefully.

 

"It's just, I mean, I don't wanna be alone on the roads, right? In case something happens. Also two heads is better than one to think of where Nina is, and…"

 

" _Okay_ ," Daniela cut the rambling. "Take whoever you want."

 

There was a small smile on Vanessa's face that she hid instantly. She nodded.

 

"Alright. Good."

 

"Don't fail me," Daniela said. "Dismissed."

 

 

Vanessa stood up and left, palming the new better gun at her waist. _Well, well,_ Daniela thought. _Looks like Nina and Benny aren't the only ones spending their honeymoon in the wasteland._  



	22. The Radio Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and Benny ponder on the possibility of not making it back to El Barrio.

It took them the next day in the quiet of the after storm to talk about it earnestly.

 

"What are we gonna do?" Benny asked.

 

They were lying sideways in a nest of blankets, her back against his chest. He was nuzzling against her hair, kissing her neck from time to time, his fingers tip toeing up and down her arms so lightly it tickled a little bit, otherwise a quiet comfortable stillness and silence to the cave. They'd made love when the storm broke, and then eaten a bit, and made love again, and come night they'd slept locked into each other's arms. Straight out of her dreams.

 

It was morning, way early still and Nina could see the sun slowly rising on the horizon outside. She sighed happily before turning around to face Benny, his naked body flush against hers. She started the day with a kiss, before any unpleasant business or conversation.

 

"I want to be right here," she replied, nestling as close to him as two humans possibly could. "With you."

 

Of course that made him smile. Lazily, he yawned and stretched out his limbs, then hugged Nina tighter against him, palms flat against her back rubbing absent minded patterns.

 

"What about the City?" He asked.

 

She hummed. No matter her plans, it had been a dream of hers to see the City, and they weren't all that far now…

 

"We can still go see the City," she said.

 

He nodded in agreement.

 

"What about your parents?"

 

She had avoided the topic yesterday. Would that she could avoid it again today, but if she'd made the hard decision of leaving El Barrio and he'd agreed to it, then they ought to get the difficult stuff out in the air between them rather than let it simmer.

 

"I dunno," she admitted.

 

She buried her face into his chest, breathed him in. With his arms around her, she felt like she could take anything, but the simple thought of her parents filled her with shame and anxiety.

 

"If we go back some day…" He started and she hid her face even more. His hand was deep into her hair, scratching her scalp soothingly. "Will… Will this still be a thing? When your dad sees me around you?"

 

That made her push against his chest to see his eyes, and how gentle and fragile they could be. She felt like she'd never seen the expression on Benny, how vulnerable he was, and wondered if many had seen it before. She cupped his face, gave him a long kiss with a taste of despair from him.

 

"This," she said, pushing a leg between his. "Will always be a thing. No matter what."

 

His shoulders sagged in relief.

 

"I don't _know_ if I want to ever go back," she sighed. "Now that I've found you…"

 

"You've always had me."

 

"You know what I mean!" She gestured at the cave around them, the sun outside in this forest. "I love all of this, I love the plants and the critters, I love the freedom, I love…"

 

She couldn't get it out, not so soon, yet as his lips found hers again, they were so gentle she knew he understood exactly how she'd meant to finish that sentence.

 

"Yeah," he said. "God yeah, me too."

 

"Do you…" She hesitated. "Do _you_ want to go back?"

 

She thought of his job on the squad, how Daniela was training him personally to take over after her, she thought of Usnavi and Lincoln and all his other friends and suddenly she felt like the most selfish person in the world.

 

"Benny, I can't keep you from El Barrio…"

 

"Shh," he put a finger on her lips. "You're not."

 

"Yes I am! Oh God, you want to go back, don't you? We have to…"

 

She felt the bubble of anxiety build up, swell up inside her and she was trying her very best not to let it burst but the weight of her decision was so heavy on her conscience…

 

"Nina," Benny said simply and she thought once again that her name never sounded as beautiful as when it came from his lips. She tried to breathe, calm herself down, to be soothed by just his sheer presence but it was just short of enough.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Let me tell you something," he whispered against her ear, dropping a line of feather-light kisses. "Every morning at camp, you got down from your tower and passed by the barracks to go to your lab."

 

She frowned in confusion but nodded. She'd always had a pretty tight schedule she liked to follow.

 

"Every morning, I was training by the dummies with Ted and Ms Daniela and Dana, and I saw you walk by and it was my favorite moment of the day. That moment when you waved at us, at least when you weren't too lost in that smart brain of yours."

 

"But that was all in camp," she pointed out. "So what does it _mean_?"

 

"It means I care about _you_. I wanna be with you, always. I want you to be happy."

 

"And you think that's in camp…"

 

"I don't know!" He replied at once, apologetic. "I can't say. Maybe this is something to, you know, think about a bit more?"

 

Thinking. That was something Nina did all too much. All her life, she'd been so deep in the world of her own thoughts it had taken her this long to even desire something more. When she'd finally broken free of the camp walls, it had been exclusively out of impulse and not a carefully planned ahead decision, and the past few days had been the happiest of her life. She wasn't looking forward to going back to thinking cautiously, because she knew it would leave her right back where she'd started, deep in her lab under her parents' constant watch.

 

"Maybe…" She trailed off.

 

The blanket had dropped down, exposing her naked back to the warmth of the sun rays. They could hear the sounds of the forest, the critters and the lightest breeze and shuffling in the leaves. This kind of calm couldn't possibly exist in camp.

 

"Tell you what," he said, sitting up. "We go to the City, and after that we hit every single place you marked down on that map, and then we talk about this again. Alright?"

 

She nodded. He stood up and that too was a sight she wanted to get used to, but wouldn't be able to if they went back to camp. Who knew if they'd ever find any place even close to being this calm where they could find intimacy and privacy, and take as much time as they wanted to make love instead of going at it quickly in a hidden corner, as silently and discreetly as possible, like everyone tried to do in their busy hive of a settlement. They might well request a place of their own like her parents had, but who knew how long that'd take, getting a private dwelling of their own? Would it ever be better than the entire world being theirs? Nina wanted her forever honeymoon with Benny and wanted to kiss him or more any time she felt like it, wanted to wake up next to him in the morning and fall asleep in his arms every night. She wanted to get up and see a full sunrise every day without the view being blocked by the walls around camp.

 

"So… Out to the city?"

 

Nina didn't love to postpone the clear cut decision she had to make, but the calm of it all, the tranquility of just her and Benny out here in the wasteland couldn't ever be matched. Hand in hand, they walked and every step brought Nina so much joy and love in her heart. When they crossed a river, Benny held her hand, kept her steady on the mossy boulders. When they came across a small group of travelers and she lied about her identity, he went along with it without even a weird glance. And when they finally reached the City, he had an arm around her waist as they crossed its gates.

 

"So this is it…"

 

So many tales from travelers at camp, so many stories and books and reports and yet nothing seemed to have properly prepared her for the reality of the City. It stood high and proud, its walls bigger and taller than anything she'd ever seen, three times as thick as their meager little walls in El Barrio. Long ago, she'd heard, before the Explosions, this place had been what was called a community college. When the bombs dropped, it had served as protection from the crawling ghosts, a haven where people survived and knowledge was preserved against all odds. The buildings remained, almost all from before the Explosions and the library was the biggest center of learning and science that anyone knew of. Nina had dreamed of visiting it ever since she'd heard of it.

 

"Hold up!" A security guard stopped them before they could begin to explore this whole new world.

 

He was standing in front of the inner gates and walked up to them briskly, serious faced. Without knowing why, Nina felt her blood chill. _This is normal,_ she told herself. _We stopped newcomers in El Barrio too. This doesn't mean they've…_

 

"Are you Nina Rosario?"

 

She bit her lip. She had done nothing forbidden. They couldn't arrest her. She was a good girl, just one who needed her liberty. Benny's hand tightened around her, pulling her just a tad closer.

 

"Who's asking?" He asked and not for the first time at all, Nina was grateful that he was so tall and big and a pile of impressive muscles. The guard looked like a child in front of him.

 

"Miss," the guard bowed his head politely. "We got a radio message on our terminal that signaled a Nina Rosario was missing from the settlement El Barrio. There was a description and you look like you might be her."

 

Nina froze up, even with Benny's thumb rubbing soothing circles at her side. She found his eyes and even in her panic found relief in the gentle strength of them.

 

"Look, man," he said, turning back to the guard.

 

The guard gulped, but held up his gaze, nodding for Benny t say what he had to say. Benny checked in Nina's eyes for a split second before asserting himself for the both of them.

 

"You're gonna forget you got that message on your terminal," he said. "And you're gonna let us in. Alright?"

 

"But Mr Rosario wrote that…"

 

" _Miss_ Rosario is telling you to leave her alone."

 

The guard opened his mouth, looked like he had many more arguments in his mind, but shut it and nodded.

 

"I'll pass out instructions," he said and with another bow, walked back to his post, talking into his walkie-talkie.

 

 

That taken care of, Benny and Nina proceeded inside the City. So her father was looking for her. Nina wondered if she wanted to be found.     


	23. The Sunflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa and Usnavi search for Nina and Benny and find something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some explicit sexual content towards the middle. The end contains plot elements so try and skip to that part if you don't read smut.

Vanessa had almost pulled him out of bed in the early morning, before his shift started. A hand shaking his shoulder in a way he wouldn't describe as gentle, shadow towering over him, he was lucky she was in the way of the moonlight from their tiny window or he might have freaked out a little bit. Finger on her lips, she held up fingers and gestured to meet her outside in five minutes.

 

His heart was pumping. _Don't get your hopes up_ , he told himself. _Don't you dare get your hopes up_. He knew Vanessa was mad at him, that she had false ideas in her mind about him and Nina, he knew this couldn't possibly be anything thrilling. She walked out before he could even try to say anything. He stared at the closed door for a few seconds before getting up and putting on clean clothes. He stared at his face in the mirror on top of the washing basin for probably too long, washed it, trying to look cool and all freshened up in the morning. After an unsuccessful attempt to make his hair look cool and stylish, he went out to meet her and find out what she wanted.

 

Outside his shared dwelling, Vanessa was leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

 

"Yo."

 

He nodded, not quite sure what she expected of him. Camp was silent, the occasional steps of security guards on their watch the only sounds cutting through dawn.

 

"Did you… did you wanna…"

 

"Daniela is sending me outside," she said. "To find Nina."

 

"Oh, erm… alright…"

 

She kicked a small stone across the pathway, eyes on the ground.

 

"When are ya…" He started.

 

"Wanna come with me?" She cut him.

 

He hesitated for a total of three seconds. Helping her would mean having to see her reunite with Nina and the possibility of heartbreak, but not helping her would be passing up on an opportunity to spend more time with Vanessa and Usnavi had priorities.

 

"Yeah!" He breathed out, probably more eagerly than he ought to considering she was mad at him still, but it was hard to restraint himself when he was given the chance of his life.

 

"Cool," she said, fiddling with the handle of her machete. "Cool."

 

The security guards winked at him on their way out of camp, which Vanessa did not comment on, so of course neither did he. It was a chilly morning and Usnavi shivered, but she said nothing on that either. After a mile, as the sun was starting to rise, Usnavi was trying to think of something smart to say when she broke the silence for him.

 

"You know, Nina is gonna be with Benny."

 

_Oh_. This is what it came down to. Nina Rosario.

 

"Yeah, I mean, they're good friends…"

 

She snorted.

 

"They're a lot more than friends, I think."

 

Well. Vanessa wanted him to be his comfort blanket when her heart was broken by Nina and Benny. That was better than not wanting any contact with him, he supposed.

 

"That's good, right?" He said cautiously. "I mean, what matters is she's happy."

 

"Ya think so?" Her voice was a mystery, even now.

 

"Yeah, I mean, Benny's my best friend and Nina's like a sister, I'm happy she's happy."

 

There was a smile on Vanessa's face that he didn't quite know what to make of.

 

"Like a sister, huh?"

 

He scratched the back of his neck.

 

"Yeah, I mean, she got Lincoln already, but I don't have no sister, and my parents, they… they liked the Rosarios, so Lincoln, Nina and I grew up together a lot."

 

Vanessa hummed and grumbled something under her breath.

 

"¿Qué?"

 

"I said, you're lucky."

 

Something on his face must have looked funny, because she smiled at him, though she tried to hide it.

 

"I didn't have a sibling growing up," she explained. Her hand was holding the machete at her hip again, looking for something to play with. "It was just me and my mom, and then, well, then it was just me and Pete."

 

She walked a bit quicker and Usnavi felt as if she was trying to walk past her emotions, as though if she walked briskly enough, they would stop. He wanted to take her hand and hold it and maybe hug her to make all her troubles a little bit more manageable, but Vanessa wouldn't want that, not from him. He picked up her pace.

 

"So, you, erm…"

 

"Just wish I could have had a sister like Nina when I was a kid, is all," she said. She huffed. "Hell, I wish I'd had _Nina_ as a sister, she'd fucking cool."

 

Vanessa said this so light-heartedly there was no doubt in Usnavi's mind that she meant every word. His heart felt light all of a sudden.

 

"We coulda been a family," he joked.

 

"I don't wanna be your _sister_ ," Vanessa retorted at once and there was that face again, when she turned to stone immediately after shutting her mouth and was unreadable. She walked past him.

 

"Erm, alright…"

 

They walked in silence for longer than Usnavi wished. From time to time, Vanessa checked her map, nodded to herself. The morning passed. They found berries on the sides of the path they were following, supposedly leading them to the City, and Usnavi gulped and looked away when he saw the way Vanessa downed them, the beautiful red they stained on her lips. By the time the sun was at its highest, they had reached a field of sunflowers bigger than anything Usnavi had ever seen. This wasn't the way to the orchards, the only part of the outside he knew. Farther than he could see, yellow flowers, all taller than him and more beautiful than the sun.

 

"Wow…"

 

"Pretty cool, right?" Vanessa smiled.

 

Almost hesitantly, she took his hand and hers was callused and yet soft in his. She led him through the flowers and everything around them was yellow and beautiful.

 

"Where we goin'?" He asked.

 

"Shh," she said, and her thumb stroking his palm felt so good Usnavi's heard was thrumming.

 

Through the field they walked, Usnavi not quite sure if he should break the silence at some point. He decided against it. The moment felt too peaceful.

 

"A'ight, we're here," she said.

 

Here was a small clearing in the middle of the field, enough to sit, not enough to pitch a tent, and Vanessa dropped on the ground and patted the space next to her. Silence wasn't so unbearable under the sunflowers with Vanessa. He scraped his fingers against the stalk of one. You didn't get flowers like this in El Barrio. The highest plants they managed to grow were…

 

"What's so funny?" Vanessa asked when he wasn't able to keep in his chuckle.

 

"Just remembering, nothing…"

 

"What is it?"

 

"I mean, it's Sonny." She smiled at him, nodded for him to go on. "When he was little, we lost him one day and we thought we'd never find him, but then Carlita told us her brothers had found him and he was in the farming sector, and he was eating beans."

 

"Beans?" Vanessa smirked.

 

"Yeah, like, he was just grabbing 'em and eating everything, but he didn't even like 'em, he just thought the ones he ate were defective and wanted to find the good beans."

 

Vanessa burst out laughing and seeing her so carefree, so joyful, Usnavi joined her. They laughed and even when the laughter dwindled down, Usnavi could still feel it in his mouth, in his heart. It was in the crinkle of Vanessa's eyes. The sun was pouring onto her face through the flowers, drawing the most beautiful pattern and he wished he could paint so he could have a memory of this moment forever if he put it down on paper. Her hair looked soft, some flowing free from her braids like a fuzzy cloud, and he wondered how it'd feel under his fingers. She was still looking straight at him, right into his eyes, and he felt like they knew everything about each other. He felt like no one had ever understood him before Vanessa.

 

And she kissed him. And he wasn't even surprised. One second, they were sharing all the trust in the world, the next, her lips were on his and his hands were at her waist and he felt exactly where he was supposed to be. Her lips were chapped and perfect and she tasted like the berries that they'd eaten earlier and she was cupping his face so much more tenderly than he'd have expected from her. His heart was drumming, racing full speed, and he thought he could feel hers beat in kind.

 

The kiss broke, her eyes fond on his. She ran gentle fingers through his hair.

 

"You're real cute," she said.

 

He smiled, couldn't _not_ smile. She kissed him again and he didn't know what he'd done to deserve this, the most beautiful woman in the world even paying any attention to him. She was grabbing his waist now, pulling him closer, exploring his body and making him feel beautiful. He'd never felt beautiful before, not like this.

 

"Vanessa…"

 

"Shh," she put a finger on his lips. "No talking, alright?"

 

He nodded. Suddenly she was on his lap and unstrapping her overalls and he gulped. He bit back any compliment bursting through his mind − she'd said no talking, he wouldn't talk, just worship silently. Vanessa had always been gorgeous, but never like this. He knew her, he felt like he did, he knew she could be kind and gentle and somehow that was the beauty that mattered the most. The soul on the inside.

 

Vanessa pulled on his hand and slid it down to her lower stomach and Usnavi might have been more than a little clueless a lot of the time but this wasn't so much a subtle cue than a punch in the face and he slipped his hand underneath those too many layers between them. Fingers slipping inside her like it was nothing, but it was _everything_ as he felt how burning hot and wet she was.

 

It wasn't his first time by a long shot but with Vanessa on top of him like that, the way she rode his fingers, doing the work even more than he was, he felt like nothing he'd ever done in his life mattered. Everything had only just been built up to the moment he would be joined with her. His head rested against her chest, still covered by the forsaken top that fitted her forms so well but was an unwelcome barrier now. He was craving to touch the whole of her, her everything. His other hand was on her back, trying to get her as close to him as he possibly could.

 

"Yes, yes…" Vanessa moaned. "And the… Oh yeah, right there."

 

Maybe this was a test, maybe his ability to pleasure her would impact each and every future interaction he would have with her for the rest of his life. He remembered that embarrassing time Benny had taught him lady-pleasing skills with half of a strawberry. How useful it was now. Thumb on her clit, trying to gauge how much pressure she liked (like he'd have thought, Vanessa did _not_ seem satisfied with gentle touches), fingers pressing down inside her, he was giving the best of his best and hoping it would suffice. He groaned at the weight of her body pressing on his dick and how much he wanted to be inside her.

 

"Vanessa…"

 

"Shh," she whispered, leaning down to kiss him silent.

 

Her hands had been clutching his back but she eased one down and gave him blessed relief, managing to open his pants and take his hard dick to pits of pleasure he probably didn't deserve. The proximity of her body, her mouth deliciously rough with him and that hand grabbing him tight, Usnavi was sure that he'd died and gone to heaven. He grunted, doubling down his ministrations, and the angle was all weird and a bit stiff on his wrist but Vanessa deserved the best of the best and if he could give her a fraction of that, then that would be enough.

 

"Fuck," Vanessa said and her body tensed up and Usnavi thought that maybe he might have done his job right for once, but then she rushed to stand up, grabbing her weapons, one-handedly strapping back her overalls and Usnavi was left lost and alone on the ground with a lonely hard dick still craving her.

 

"Wha…"

 

"Bloodhounds," she whispered. "I heard 'em. Get up."

 

Usnavi's blood ran cold as he tucked himself back in his pants faster than he thought possible (and in camp, getting caught was almost part of the sex act itself, so he was all too used to it). Vanessa gestured for him to get behind her which he was all the happier for. He was just a simple kitchen boy, not an action hero, he wasn't _Benny_. When the hounds arrived he wanted to become tiny and disappear, but thankfully Vanessa was relentless and strong and he could only just stand there, useless, watching her combat the beasts. 

 

Many of them, there were so many and Usnavi tried to climb up a tree, but there were no low branches and he fell back on his ass. And all the while Vanessa kept hacking away, and soon she was using her gun too. Usnavi had never been so scared in his life, completely helpless against their fiends. They were huge and heinous and their bite looked dangerous − Vanessa hadn't been bit so far, thank God.

 

"There's no way we can fence them off!" Vanessa cried out to him and Usnavi couldn't possibly agree more. "We gotta make a run!"

 

"We can't run away from _them_!" Usnavi yelled back, trying to hide behind the tree without much success.

 

"On the count of three!" She said, ignoring him. She backed away from them till she was so close to him he could smell the nasty stink of the hounds and their fangs were so very sharp. _This_ was why he was a kitchen boy. "One…" Her hands were so steady, machete in one, handgun in the other, and still she killed hound after hound. "Two…" She shoved the machete back into her belt and grabbed his hand. "Three!"

 

She sprinted away, faster than he'd ever ran in his life. The dogs followed them but they were faster, or at least Vanessa was.

 

"Where we goin'?!" He yelped.

 

"I… know… a shack nearby!" She replied, running so fast it was lucky she was holding him because he could faint any second.

 

"It better… It better be close!"

 

He was breathless when she finally pulled him into the small shack and he crashed onto the nearest sofa without asking for more. Vanessa barricaded the door, closing the windows and keeping her weapons at hand. She peeked through the shutters. There were still barks from outside. The size of these beasts…

 

"We're safe," Vanessa declared. "They'll just tire themselves out."

 

He allowed himself to breathe. Through the closed shutters, there was barely any light coming through, and some from the holed roof. He tried to make out his surroundings. Guns lying on shelves, a few grenades. Tons of dust, probably not a cabin that was used a lot. Papers scattered on an old desk. Heaps of clutter around the room.

 

"What is this place?" He asked nervously.

 

Vanessa sat down next to him, machete on her lap. She looked straight ahead, face stern, then went to the ground to light a fire. She wouldn't talk.

 

"Vanessa?" He asked timidly.

 

Outside, dogs were still barking. Vanessa struggled with matches, sighing but she shrugged him away when he tried to help. He sat back on the sofa again, hands clasped together on his lap. Vanessa breathed in deeply and, even with the fire pleasantly crackling, she didn't get back on the chair next to him. It was a few minutes of silence which Usnavi found uncomfortable before she replied.

 

"It's a bandit hideout. From when I used to work for them."

 

 

Usnavi's heart dropped in his chest.


	24. The Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny has been grumpy ever since they learned of Nina's escape and Pete is helpless.

News that Nina Rosario had left El Barrio quickly got around camp. Pete didn't think he had ever so much as talked to her, but the more he heard the news spread around and how everyone reacted, the more he told himself that he must be the only person in this entire settlement who hadn't. Everyone spoke of her in the highest praise and he was sad that he wasn't even certain of what she looked like. Not that he was spared any description.

 

"Man, I can't help thinking about Nina…" Sonny sighed for the twelfth time since they'd been forcefully enrolled on the cleaning team that morning.

 

"Mmh," Pete hummed.

 

That, he knew. Sonny had been talking about her all the time from the moment they'd heard she was gone. Pete had never really known that Sonny was the romantic type, but there was no doubt now. He was nothing if not completely smitten with that Nina.

 

"Like, do you think she's _with_ Benny?"

 

Pete took a small break from clearing out the wrecked remains of what had been the radio tower and rested his elbow on his shovel. Sonny was sorting through metal sheets and bars left in the dirt but turned to Pete when he didn't get a fast enough answer. Pete shrugged.

 

"You were with me when we heard. I don't know nothing more than you do."

 

"I know," Sonny sighed and started going through the rubble again. "I just… I dunno." A pause, turning his back to Pete. "I wish Usnavi was here."

 

This too. Another reason to complain. Today, it seemed to Pete that Sonny found every reason to whine. Some of it, he could easily understand. It had been a nasty surprise for the both of them to come back to a half-destroyed camp. Everyone, no matter their jurisdiction, had been assigned for repairs and clearing the grounds for most of the day, with a limited cooking staff that did not include Sonny's cousin Usnavi. Indeed, he was on a small team comprised of him and Vanessa, with the goal to get Nina back as soon as possible. Vanessa had told him the night before she'd most likely be leaving. Pete had said nothing of it, but he had kept her in his thoughts all day, hoping but also knowing she would survive the wilderness of the wasteland. She'd been eager to leave, but that had probably nothing to do with the mission and everything to do with taking Usnavi with her.

 

"D'you think Usnavi is gonna kiss her?"

 

Sonny looked horrified.

 

"He ain't gonna kiss Nina!" He squeaked. "Dios Mío, Benny is plenty enough competition!"

 

 _Always back to Nina with him,_ Pete thought darkly.

 

" _Vanessa_ ," he explained. "Do you think Usnavi is gonna kiss Vanessa?"

 

"Oh. _Oh_. Oh my god, he's gonna kiss her!" A smile on his face, a first today. "Not like Nina, she never gonna kiss me." Aaaand it was gone.

 

And when it wasn't Nina, Pete had no respite still, because when it wasn't her, it was the fact that they were stuck in camp and that Sonny wanted out. Admittedly, Pete wouldn't have minded to take a break from their hard work here in camp. He had gotten no time for himself whatsoever, a huge difference compared to their usual breezing through their job on the outside. The fact however was that, should he be allowed outside again, he had no idea if he wanted to spend so much time with Sonny in this particular mood.

 

"I think they probably will kiss," Pete went on, trying to look and sound unperturbed. "She doesn't say, but I think she really likes him. She likes nice people."

 

Sonny hummed and got back to work.

 

"Usnavi's nice."

 

Pete expected him to lead the conversation back to Nina, but instead he fell silent and continued sorting through the rubble, so Pete followed suit. Sonny's mood got no better throughout the day and when it finally got dark and work had to stop, he didn't say a word as they made their way to the dinner halls.

 

"Mijo, you look like crap," Jane commented when they sat down next to her and Carla. "What's up? Worked too much?"

 

Sonny grunted and grabbed his ration wordlessly. He got a piece of jerky that he chewed on quietly, not meeting anyone's eyes.

 

"One of these days, huh?" Carla asked Pete, who nodded.

 

Jane looked like she wanted to add something but instead settled for patting Sonny's arm affectionately. This had the opposite effect of making him stand up abruptly.

 

"Imma go to bed," he said. "See ya."

 

Just like that, he left them and walked out of the dining halls briskly. Pete did not quite know how to react. Part of him wanted to run after him but the serious part, the part that didn't get involved, didn't get into trouble when he could just sit back and observe, that part won and he simply began to eat his own meal. He could feel the burning gaze of Carla and Jane on him but refused to say anything.

 

He did not know why he was so upset. Of course, all day, Sonny had been insufferably moody and sulking, but Pete had technically been no better. He could not think of one time he had even smiled since the news dropped on camp, since their comeback from the blackout. Before, smiling around Sonny was an inevitability, an evidence. Now, he did not even know if he wanted to spend all that much time with Sonny anymore if he was going to stay that way.

 

"Petie," Jane cut him from his dark thoughts. "Are you alright?"

 

He dared look up to find Jane's large dark eyes on him and he hated himself for thinking that they looked exactly like Sonny's. That they looked beautiful.

 

"Fine," he replied curtly.

 

She leaned over to hold his hand exactly like she'd done Sonny's just a few minutes ago, as naturally as if he was her own. Pete tensed up, but relaxed just as fast. What a change it had been, learning to receive open affection, because that resource was never lacking in El Barrio and he was well liked by the (albeit few) people he interacted with. Jane's thumb brushed his sore hand from today's hard work and Carla looked at him with fondness as well.

 

"The thing about…" Jane started and tried to be looking for the next words before going on. "The thing about Sonny is, he hates change."

 

Pete frowned. That sounded like the opposite of what he knew about Sonny. Jane seemed to catch his thoughts before he outed them and waved a hand in dismissal.

 

"Not that project of his, no," she said. "He hates change he can't control. Takes him a bit to accept that some things won't stay as they were."

 

"Oooooh," Carla cooed, "Do you mean how he…"

 

She trailed off knowingly and Jane nodded at her.

 

"Sonny has liked Nina for a _long_ time," she explained to Pete.

 

He lowered his head, staring at his food, playing with it.

 

"But she's twenty-three, she's a woman and he's my little man, but he's still a boy. Plus, she's been into Benny for ages. He'll never be with her."

 

There was a drop Pete couldn't explain inside his chest. It felt like relief, but couldn't possibly be.

 

"And Sonny knows that," she went on. "But he hates that he knows it, so he mopes and hopes that if he's grumpy enough, things will change, but they won't."

 

Pete did not know what they expected him to say to that. Carla was looking at him as if he was a wounded animal and he didn't like that one bit.

 

"There's the other thing," she said. "Dani says she's seen it too."

 

"What is it?" Pete asked, though he felt he would regret this. Today had not brought many good things.

 

"Another reason why he has a pretty hard time letting go of his crush on Nina…"

 

Pete tugged his hand from her. He wanted to hug his sides, maybe go to bed and watch the ceiling, but at the same time felt frozen into place right where he was. He put his hands on his lap, clenched his fist, staring down.

 

"It's because it's hard for him to admit he has feelings for someone else now."

 

This was the first Pete had heard of Sonny liking someone other than Nina. He certainly didn't get that impression from Sonny himself, far from it.

 

"I don't think he does," he frowned.

 

"Ay, lindo," Carla said, reaching over the table to pat his shoulder in what Pete felt was a patronizing way.

 

"See, babe," Jane told her, squeezing Carla's arm. "I told you he didn't know."

 

"Sonny never said nothing about anyone other than Nina," Pete grumbled.

 

He could feel his stomach groaning with unease. It felt like jealousy, but couldn't be. What could Pete possibly be jealous of? Or who?

 

"Sweetie," Jane said gently. "I'm only saying this because I love my son more than anything in this world and I want him to be happy. He likes _you_."

 

The pit inside Pete's stomach got infinitely deeper, except that it didn't feel like falling anymore, rather the world turned upside down and the sky was the limit.

 

"Wha…"

 

"I think it's cute," Carla interrupted. "How he tries to spend so much time with you all the time."

 

"We're _friends_ ," Pete said. Not that he was the friendship expert. Not that they'd felt like friends today.

 

"You _are_ friends," Jane nodded. " _And_ also he likes you. It can be both."

 

"I don't… I don't know what you mean…"

 

"Mijo," Jane said and that word still made him feel warm, cared for, and a little bit calmer than he had a second before. "I'll tell it as I see it, I don't know for sure that it's true, not a hundred percent, but I know my son like the back of my hand and I am mostly certain."

 

Thoughts were chugging at Pete's mind and he waited patiently − only because he didn't feel like he would be able to say anything of substance if he tried.

 

"Sonny spent all day with you, right?" Pete nodded. "You've been here maybe a month and you're always together, and in all that time my boy hasn't mentioned Nina once."

 

"But today he wouldn't stop…"

 

"That's not the point," Carla said.

 

"He's feeling lost. Half of camp is destroyed, his job is on hold and on top of that, Nina has eloped with Benny, and he focuses on that rather than facing the truth."

 

"The truth?"

 

"That he doesn't love Nina anymore. He doesn't mope her, he mopes the time when he loved her and his feelings was easier to understand."

 

Pete was trying to process what she was saying, but the only thing his mind was able to focus on was the fact that Sonny _liked_ him. He had never had anyone who cared about him, not like that. He didn't know what to make of it.

 

"And really, he can't even keep it straight, because he still went to _you_ to get comforted."

 

Was this true? Sonny had spent all day next to Pete, even in all his grump, even if he felt bad. Was it because he actually cared about Pete? Did any of this make any sense?

 

"Sleep on it," Jane suggested when she saw him struggling. "You have time. My boy's all smitten, he'll come around, and then you'll figure it out together."

 

Pete nodded. He still wasn't hungry, but this time, it felt like excitement played a part, rather than angst. He stood up.

 

"Good night," he said, bowing his head lightly. "And, er, thank you."

 

They were smiling at him, brushing his arm kindly on his way out.

 

In the dormitory, he found Sonny already lying in his bed.

 

"I couldn't sleep," he said apologetically. "So I came here. I hope that you don't… er… that it's fine."

 

Sonny in his bed, small and fragile, tugged right at Pete's heart. He wondered for a moment if Jane and Carla could possibly be right, if Sonny really did seek out his company for a reason. He was going to take some empty bed when Sonny sat up and grabbed his hand.

 

"Can you hold me?"

 

Pete didn't trust himself to speak − not that he usually did. He laid down next to Sonny and before he knew it, Sonny had pulled his arm around his waist in a much too intimate embrace. Pete accepted it, squeezing Sonny all too slightly, but felt Sonny's breath hitch in response. He tried to sleep and ignore the thousands of questions coursing his mind. The last thing he felt before falling asleep was the hint of a kiss against his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for being so late! Please tell me if you still like this and want me to keep it going.


	25. The City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and Benny visit the City.

Nina started the eighth day, the day she'd promised Daniela she would be back and now wouldn't, with the richest breakfast she'd ever had − and that was saying something, considering she'd eaten her mother's breakfast all days of her life. Wild mushrooms, and boar slices, with a berry sauce to die for, never something that was done in El Barrio. Food was just better in the City, the multicultural hub of trade and exchange that it was, and to Nina it seemed that you could actually taste how rare and precious the ingredients were.

 

And the food was the least of the marvels Nina discovered in the City. From all parts, she was overwhelmed with new sights, enough curiosities to sate her ever restless heart. There was so much to do, to discover. They used another writing, Nina found out, that she could not read and so Benny and her had just pointed at the dish that looked the best at the restaurant of the inn they'd stayed at − both were businesses completely absent from El Barrio.

 

The City was also bigger than any settlement had any right to be. _Buildings_ , for God's sake, actual buildings from bricks and glass. Never something you found in El Barrio, the maze of empty storage units and rusty shacks that had barely survived the Explosions, let alone the two hundred years that followed them up until now. Nina felt like she could just walk up and down the streets of this place all day, content with observing the buzzing around of these numerous people, a crowd bigger than she had ever seen.

 

They spent that first morning in the meanders of the City, taking in the sheer size of it all. Not only were all buildings sprawled about, but time had refined their practicality, their use vastly different from the time they were built hundreds of years ago. Extensions had been built upon extensions, an extra room here, a hole dug there. Now there were catwalks between all houses with guards patrolling, so much better equipped than El Barrio's security team, even better than Benny and the elite squad, although Nina did not point that out. The streets themselves were cement and pavement, a vast improvement from El Barrio's hard dirt ground. Nina found something to marvel at anywhere she looked, always more, always better. Her heart was thrumming with the beat of life, fast-paced and passionate.

 

There was a plaza with food stands from all over the continent, places Nina had never even heard of, much less been to, and they spoke odd languages so foreign to her ears she longed to stop them and beg them to teach her their words. There was a water treatment unit bigger than her radio tower back in camp, huge, enough for thousands of people. There were flags and costumes so strange and colorful she wanted to buy every color of the rainbow and wear it herself. There was laughing, chatting, bonding. The City was alive.

 

At noon, they stopped to eat again, this time what she later learned was insects fried in ox fat, and yet the tastiest snack she'd ever had. In any case, it filled her stomach and she would need the extra boost of energy for the afternoon.

 

Indeed she spent the rest of the day in the library of the City. Rows after rows of bookshelves, more terminals than she'd ever seen, with their meager five small ones dispatched around El Barrio, but here were dozens, and researchers huddled around the screens, around old heavy volumes, the scent of knowledge being gained thick in the air. For hours she browsed, first aimlessly then with the purpose of researching the specific areas of camp infrastructure where she needed the most help.

 

And boy, did she find it. She found what she had been looking for, updating her plans with the latest dig-ups from before the Explosions, the finest ideas. She'd needed this so bad, she realized, stroking away entire paragraphs of her project of renovations, rewriting them with the new accurate information. She also found things she didn't even know she'd been missing on what seemed to be commonplace and running smoothly in the City. Recycling facilities, central heating based on human density, new systems of lodging and powering and cleaning and even cooking, more knowledge than Nina could ever possess.

 

She spent the afternoon reading and writing so long that her wrist ached with use at the end of the day. Benny had massaged it for her. He had asked if he should write for her, but Nina didn't want to risk losing any information and she was much more used to writing than Benny was, with her line of work and his, and so he'd watched her write at her fast pace, the thoughts faster still. Whenever she looked up from her work, she'd found him staring, and the smiles they shared then were sweeter than honey. The sky was black by the time they left the libraries.

 

They found the City awake at night. Whereas El Barrio fell asleep with the change to the night team and night time was for sleep only, the City was thriving. Nina had never seen such a mass of happy people gathering to simply have fun. Lights were dropping from every catwalk across the city, the streets bright as day, a symphony of mismatched lamps.

 

"C'mon," she said, grabbing Benny's hands. "Shake those hips!"

 

Dancing, _dancing_ , for God's sake! There was dancing in El Barrio, of course − Daniela couldn't live without it − but never to this scale, never hundreds of people, never such heat and energy. And Benny's hands on her waist, losing herself in the feeling. Songs she'd heard before, old preserved records that her mom was fond of, most completely new to her ears. Benny made her spin and whirl all night until her feet couldn't take it, and then she leaned on him to dance some more in the crowd of joyful Citizens.

 

They got back into the hotel room giggling into each other's arms, as if inebriated although Nina was only just drunk on love and joy. Benny is making her laugh and lose her footing, kissing her neck to her face and back again, on the other side, everywhere.

 

"Benny!" She squealed when his mouth set for a new assault right between her shoulder and her neck where she was most sensitive, burying his face into her hair.

 

With a foot, he slammed the door to their room shut, held her tighter and his thumbs brushed against the skin just over the waistband of her jeans.

 

"Mmh?" He asked, rubbing soft little circles against her stomach and she shivered. Look at you, she thought. Twenty-three, and such a nerd that a pretty boy kissing you makes you all giddy. But it wasn't just a pretty boy, it was Benny, and Benny had always turned her soft.

 

"Thank you," she said, giving his shoulders the lightest push to look at his face. "For everything."

 

His dark brown eyes contained all the warmth in the world. He stroked a finger against her cheek lovingly, bringing the smiles out of her whether she wanted them or not. He leaned down and kissed her, a brief one considering their previous trysts, but a token of love nonetheless and she would take it.

 

"Any time," he said. "Any time, Nina."

 

However amorous his intentions had been seconds earlier, he was now all tenderness, bringing her to the closest embrace. Outside, the music was still booming and she recognized the song. It was her mother's favorite, an old bolero from ancient times. They danced silently with her mom's song in the distance and Nina reminisced despite herself.

 

It was the song, and it wasn't.

 

It was her mother's smile when Lincoln broadcast it on the radio and she was taken by surprise, stopping her current task, perking up, only to get back to work with a smile on her face and a whistle on her lips. It was her mother pulling her father out of his old dusty armchair at night after family dinner, it was clearing out the furniture off the floor of their living room area and watching them swirl elegantly for her, awkwardly for him, and laugh and look twenty years younger. It was her mother's half day off once a month that she always spent in their private dwelling listening to the record, so much so that they were afraid it would scratch, but Camila Rosario was not one to let that bother her and she proclaimed that she would love the record with or without scratches.

 

It was her father looking so much in love Nina thought his heart would burst. It was her father inviting Abuela Claudia over and begging her to please grant him this next dance and slowly shuffling into place with her, her thin wrinkly hands in his callused overworked ones. It was her father asking her to dance and begging her to never grow so old and big that she would refuse a dance to her papí.

 

It was her brother playing that song every other day, every day, just because their mother loved it and he loved their mother. It was Abuela Claudia telling her a story of the young lover she'd taken as a youth in the vaults when she was still youthful and not yet an abuelita and she went dancing every night. It was Usnavi asking her to be his dance partner at balls organized by Daniela because he knew anyone else would make fun of him but Nina, she never would. It was Sonny begging her to dance with him and be his princess lady wife forever. It was Carla bartering with every newcomer traveler to get a copy of the old record to offer Camila because she knew it was her favorite. It was Daniela's parties and all the young souls of El Barrio on the central square and her watchful eyes making sure everyone had fun.

 

It was El Barrio. It was home.

 

"I need to go back to camp," she whispered against Benny's ear and felt him hold her just ever so tighter.

 

 

They set back course for El Barrio the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment, even super short, if you've read this!!!!!


	26. The Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usnavi and Vanessa deal with the consequences of her confession and find some help along the way.

They slept on opposite sides of the shack, the hounds still ferociously at it even after hours of barking out at the shuttered windows. Without a word, Vanessa had taken the couch, curled up into herself, her back to him. Usnavi lay on his bedroll in the corner by the fire, eyes wide open, unable to find rest for how long, an hour, two, more?

 

Vanessa was a bandit, a hoodlum, maybe even an outlaw, not that Doña Daniela cared about such things. Usnavi had always taken pride in being a good boy who did right by the people around him, because if you didn't have kindness in your own heart, how could you expect it from others? He worked every day of his life and tried to be a blessing to those around him, his people, and for a hopeful second, he had thought that Vanessa was a good person, a great one, protecting him and their camp and being strong for the sake of the weak. He'd had the hope that he could find love and maybe one day, in many years, maybe settle down and have a family of his own. But a family with a bandit…

 

Vanessa wasn't on the couch when he woke up. His first thought was that she had left him alone. He wondered how long he could fare, alone in the wild, tried to remember the last camp they'd walked past on their way here and if he could realistically run there for help. The bloodhounds went away during the night, it seemed, as there was no sound coming from outside. He stood up, packed his things, and went out of the shack but there she was, of course. Vanessa was stretching herself, overalls unstrapped to the waist down, bandages around her breasts only, her top and ankle boots on the ground, the exact picture of the moment they met. A light breeze was flowing through her hair that was untied for once and for the first time Usnavi saw how long it was, down to her waist. She was one with nature, barefoot, flexing her body in the morning mist. She was beautiful. And she was a bandit. He braced himself.

 

"Are you ready to go?" He asked, his voice much more in control than his heart.

 

Vanessa startled − had she expected him to be gone before sunrise? Gone like a thief? But she nodded, gathered her things, checked the shack to make sure they were set and led the way again. The day was as long as it was painfully awkward. Usnavi was craving to talk, to say anything to fill the breach between them, but if he did, then it would mean he would be making piece with a hoodlum, even if that hoodlum was Vanessa. So they both had fallen into sulking silence.

 

Vanessa was in charge of the map and directions and Usnavi followed along, with considerably more distance between them than the previous day. On the rare moments he dared look her way, he found her face stern and resolutely staring at the road ahead. Lunch was pork jerky that they chewed on during their walk. For that, Usnavi was in fact grateful, because sitting their butt down and still not exchange a word for a whole meal sounded like the last thing he wanted in the world. behind his eyes, flooding his mind, he couldn't get rid of images of Vanessa on his lap, Vanessa's eyes soft on him after they kissed, his hand down Vanessa's pants… He bit his lip and pressed forward.

 

The beautiful, angelic, independent Vanessa he'd built up in his mind had turned into someone he didn't know and was afraid of. He longed for Abuela Claudia, for her advice and insight, but the camp was many miles away. He longed for Nina. The thought struck him that maybe Nina knew about this, that she'd known and not told him. How long had Vanessa been in El Barrio, a few weeks? And Nina was a close friend of hers, immediately had become so. She had to know. She had to have known and kept it from him.

 

"Fucking thank God," Vanessa cried out after hours of silence.

 

Usnavi snapped his head to her, hoping for a revelation, hoping for anything that would change the horrible new status quo that was their implicit state of fight, but she wasn't looking at him. She wasn't even paying attention to him one bit − not much change from the rest of the day there, he thought gloomily. But his mood reached the highest peak when he saw what she was looking at. He couldn't even stop himself.

 

"Nina Rosario!" He ran towards her across the field and crashing into her arms. "Where have you been?!"

 

He hugged her tighter than he ever had − if anything, her absence from camp reminded him how much he cared about her and her well-being, filling him with fondness. Nina laughed and patted his back, and Usnavi fell Benny's gentle hand on his shoulder as well. There was a cough behind him and he reluctantly broke the hug and took a few steps back.

 

"Found you," Vanessa said, holding the handle of her machete, trying to look impressive, trying to look anything but relieved and happy and open.

 

There was fondness in Nina's smile as she held up her arms and Vanessa threw herself into her in a fiercer hug than even the one Usnavi had given her.

 

"Did you miss me?" She teased.

 

"Shut up," Vanessa muttered. "What if I did?"

 

"Shh," Nina said, stroking Vanessa's hair which she had tied back into braids at some point in the morning, a process which Usnavi had forced himself to look away from lest he would stare. "Let's go home."

 

As happy as Usnavi was to have found Nina and Benny, the joy was cut short by Vanessa clutching onto Nina as soon as they set back course towards El Barrio. A distance between the two of them and him and Benny trailing behind, short enough that Benny could keep a watchful eye on the both of them, not enough that they could catch a word of what the girls were saying. Not for lack of trying, at least on his part. Benny was focused on the road and their surroundings, ever cautious, a good member of their security team, but Usnavi was trying to decipher the words exchanged between them. Was Vanessa going to try to get Nina mad at him? Would he lose a dear friend as well as the love of his life? Were they plotting against him already? Anxiety was clenching his heart when Benny's arm wrapped around his shaking shoulders.

 

"Buddy…" He said and that was it.

 

Usnavi stopped in his tracks and threw his arms around Benny's waist and buried his face into the leathers covering his chest.

 

"Hey there, little guy," Benny chuckled. "Missed me too?"

 

Usnavi nodded, unmoving, and unwilling to move. He knew that tears of anger, of hurt, of betrayal had been welling up in his eyes all day but he refused to let them out, though they were very close to running down his cheeks. A sob broke through his body and he refrained himself as hard as he could to keep it dry.

 

"What's the matter?" Benny asked.

 

"I don't wanna talk about it," Usnavi mumbled.

 

He took a few big breaths, enjoyed a few more moments of the embrace of his best friend, and detached himself from him.

 

"So where've you been? Señora Rosario was so mad, I thought she was gonna breathe fire in my face."

 

There was something gentle in Benny's gaze that Usnavi didn't know him to ever have. It made him smile as well.

 

"We went to the City."

 

"Damn, really?!" Benny nodded. "That's so far!"

 

"Well, we're on our way back now, aren't we?" He grinned, but then grew stern. "Shit, Ms Daniela is gonna be mad…"

 

"Not more than the Rosarios."

 

Benny snorted breathlessly, humorlessly, and shrugged. His gaze went back to Nina. _There_ was the source of his gentleness.

 

"Did you…" Usnavi started but couldn't possibly finish his thought decently. "I mean, you two… You…"

 

He tried to gesture but that amounted to absolutely nothing. Benny's face broke into a teasing smirk − he'd gotten it, of course. It was a few steps before he answered, first with a playful punch on Usnavi's shoulder, then with words.

 

"Yeah," he breathed out. "Yeah, us two."

 

"Cool," Usnavi said, looking at the girls. They were still talking, hushed confessions he couldn't hear. Vanessa leaned in to whisper something into Nina's ear, then turned her head and for a split second they crossed eyes. She looked away even faster than he did. "That is so cool."

 

If Benny caught on the awkwardness, and he most likely did, he didn't say.

 

They stopped at a cave for the night. Vanessa knelt down to build a fire. Cautiously, Usnavi sat down on a flat boulder next to her but she stood up abruptly.

 

"I'ma go hunting," she announced. "Nina?"

 

Nina had been making lovey-dovey eyes at Benny, sorting their things together, setting down the bedrolls for the night, but she stood immediately to join Vanessa and they left in silence. Benny took over lighting the fire while Usnavi sat there in all his sadness and confusion.

 

"So…" Benny and him started at the same time.

 

Benny chuckled and waved his hand for Usnavi to go ahead first.

 

"So, erm… Vanessa and I had this fight…"

 

Benny nodded, utterly unsurprised.

 

"I mean, it wasn't really a fight, we haven't shouted at each other or nothing, just… d'ya know what she was doing before camp?"

 

Benny sighed. He fluffed the bedroll and patted the space next to him and Usnavi scooted over. They could see the stars starting to shine outside in the sky from here.

 

"Ms Daniela isn't sure, but she thinks some sort of thief. She's had her observed but Vanessa is very private…"

 

"She tells you that?!"

 

"Dude, I'm second-in-command, she better."

 

Usnavi played with a stick, tracing patterns on the dark earth of the cave. He thought of the shack, of her confession, how grossed out he had been… He had fallen silent then and Vanessa had taken offense in his lack of words, and they had barely said anything to each after that.

 

"I thought she was a good person," Usnavi sighed. "She told me yesterday, like, she used to work for bandits?"

 

Benny nodded, just _nodded_. Usnavi felt anger growing in his heart again.

 

"How can you be so blasé about this?!" he lashed out. "This is horrible, can you believe she's probably harmed…"

 

"Usnavi, I've killed people before."

 

Usnavi's heart tripled in volume, but his brain didn't have any of the words to express what he was feeling.

 

"Wha…"

 

Benny's gaze was on the crackling fire, his eyes resolutely away from Usnavi's, his face lacking the constant smile that Usnavi had grown to expect for twenty-four years of his life around Benny.

 

"Once an old man…" Benny said, breath hitching, his voice a completely new nuance that Usnavi had never heard before. "He was a bandit too, but he was attacking camp and I just…" He closed his eyes, nodded to himself. "We do what we have to do."

 

"Yes, but that was to defend camp, you had a _reason_ , you were just… You're not a bad person…"

 

"Buddy," Benny said seriously, a heavy hand on Usnavi's back. "I'm just gonna be honest. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

 

Usnavi groaned, glaring at Benny, but only got a stern look in response.

 

"Like, I get it, in camp you gotta be good, you gotta not steal and not harm anyone, cause we're all one people."

 

"Everywhere in the world we're all one people!"

 

"You don't know the outside, man," Benny insisted. "Those crazy raiders who wanna destroy everything, and the beasts, and everything… You gotta defend yourself. That's what we do out in the wasteland with the squad, and Vanessa too before she came to camp."

 

"Still now," Usnavi pointed out. "She's elite squad too now."

 

Benny nodded with a hum.

 

"I'm just saying," Benny said but it wasn't just words, it also felt like a judgment sentence. "You gotta put yourself in her shoes. If you were alone on the outside with Sonny and you had to steal to feed the kid, what would you do?"

 

He let Usnavi ponder the thought until the girls came back with a rabbit Vanessa had trapped. He prepared it, of course, while the others talked together. He thought of Sonny, of his aunt, of Abuela. What would he do if they were in danger, if they lacked their basic needs filled? What did Vanessa do for her mom, for Pete?

 

Vanessa sat next to Nina during dinner, soon also joined by Benny, leaving Usnavi all alone to his thoughts. He needed the time. A few times, Nina caught his eyes and smiled to him encouragingly, but made otherwise no attempt to communicate with him. When it was time to sleep, Benny and Nina's bedrolls were so close Usnavi could swear they were sharing blankets and most likely body heat as well. Benny had an arm around her and his face was buried in her hair. They looked good together.

 

 

Vanessa pulled her own bedroll to the side, by the entrance. Usnavi opened his mouth to say something, but the words never came and Vanessa curled into her covers, facing away from him. Usnavi dragged his own bedroll on the opposite side. The fire was dwindling down and he was a little chilly. Across the cave, he saw Vanessa shivering, struggling as he was, up until she wasn't and he heard the sound of her breathing over the silence of night. He fell asleep short after.


	27. The Rosarios Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camila and Kevin confront their daughter.

Nina was well aware that Vanessa wasn't much of a touchy-feely kind of person, but she couldn't help herself. Just the sight of the walls of El Barrio set a deep anxiety in her and with Benny busy talking to Usnavi, straightening his shirt for him, a friendly piece of advice for the road, Vanessa was now the only thing between her and utter panic.

 

"You're crushing my ribs," Vanessa groaned.

 

"No I'm not," Nina replied, nuzzling into Vanessa's neck.

 

"No you're not," Vanessa muttered, arms tight around Nina.

 

Nina was the first one to let go. The camp gates were sterner and more frightening than they'd ever been when they opened for their group. Nina breathed. Vanessa grabbed her hand, gently squeezed it.

 

"It's gonna be fine," she said. "They'll come around."

 

"So will Usnavi."

 

Vanessa shrugged. Benny and Usnavi had barely caught up with them that she was gone already, in the meanders of El Barrio. Usnavi shared glances with Benny, gave Nina a hug and went on a separate way to brood some more. Nina meant what she had said. Vanessa might have climbed up the personal ranking of favorite people in Usnavi's world faster than any other person before, but Nina had been there longer, a whole life of friendship with this silly boy and she knew he was bond to forgive Vanessa at some point. If there was even something to forgive.

 

"Mira, allí está."

 

The stern voice of her father shook her from her thoughts and panic ran through her blood. Barely across the gates, and she was already found, caught like a rat. Her family was running towards her and they did not look happy.

 

"Where the hell have you been?!" Her mother shouted, grabbing Nina by the shoulders, shaking her before hugging her so tight it cut all breath from her lungs.

 

"I should have answered Dad's radio calls, I know, I…"

 

Her father was at their side, and Lincoln, awkwardly looking down, feet shuffling.

 

"Answer your mother!" Her dad replied curtly. "Where were you?!"

 

There was a cough and Benny hand was on her shoulder. Her parents immediately disentangled themselves from her, her father glaring at Benny angrily. Benny cleared his throat again. His hand was tight, squeezing her just a bit too hard, and she reached up to hold it in hers.

 

"Mr Rosario. Mrs Rosario. Lincoln."

 

There was unease in the way Lincoln's eyes went from her to Benny and back again. Her father squinted suspiciously.

 

"Think very hard about how you justify yourself," he told Benny in an ice cold voice.

 

"Just hear him out!" Nina protested but her father wouldn't hear her or even look at her.

 

Behind him, her mom's face was stern, eying Kevin cautiously.

 

"Actually no," he said before Benny could open his mouth. "I'll say this nicely. Please, stay away from my daughter from now on."

 

Her mom grabbed his arm, muttering for him to calm down, and Nina dared to look at Benny. He looked positively outraged, trying to compose himself.

 

"Sir," he tried to keep his voice as earnest as he could but Nina could hear the hurt nonetheless. Lincoln rubbed his eyes with a clenched fist. "I've been here since I was a kid, you've known me for…"

 

"Do you think you're anywhere _close to_ her level?"

 

Her mother pinched the brink of her nose.

 

"Kevin, cálmate."

 

Nina looked at Benny. The words had hit him like a punch in the jaw. Mouth gaping, he was staring at Kevin Rosario like it was the first time he was seeing him. He seemed torn between aggressively defending himself and crawling back into himself to protect himself from anything else that might be thrown his way. He made his choice.

 

"Of course not, Sir, no one is…"

 

Nina made another choice.

 

"Yes he is!" She retorted.

 

All eyes snapped on her. Her father's were still bulging in anger, though she could not say if it was directed at her or at Benny anymore. Her mother's were scrutinizing, judging, deciding. Her brother's were sad and also a little bit proud, somehow. And Benny's, Benny's beautiful dark eyes… She would do anything for those eyes.

 

"Yes he is," she repeated calmly, holding Benny's hand and staring at her parents defiantly. "He's the next in line to rule over camp and I'm just a scientist!"

 

"You're not _just_ …" Her father started, but it was her turn now and she would talk for as long as she wanted.

 

"And he's smart and kind and he's always believed in me. He read my plans, Dad, _he_ actually did, and you know what he said?"

 

Her dad opened his mouth but Nina wouldn't let him.

 

"He loved them! He said I should do it."

 

"I _told_ you you should have let her do it," her mom growled at him. He waved her away.

 

"And yes, we sneaked out together, but only because _you_ ," she pointed, "wouldn't give me permission to leave the camp, ever."

 

"He still shouldn't have abducted you like that!"

 

"He didn't! I came to him and begged him to get me out of here because I was furious and sick of being cooped up in here! He only agreed because he actually cares about me and my happiness and that's why I…"

 

She wanted to look at Benny for this, needed to see him. He knew what was coming, she saw plain on his face, and she wouldn't do him the pain of denying him those words even if they were implicit already.

 

"That's why I love him."

 

There was a gasp, though she could not tell if it came from her father or her brother.  For the first time since they walked back home, Benny and Nina allowed themselves to smile. His hand squeezed hers gently and she was sure there would be more later. But Benny just took a big breath and braced himself to face the rest of them, his chest out with pride.

 

"Alright, you just hear me out now!"

 

His voice lost all the hesitancy of before and Nina wishes she could kiss him right now.

 

"I've always trusted you," he started and there was no doubt who those words were directed at, his eyes staring straight at her father. "When I lost my parents to those raiders when I was ten and I'd come hang in the radio tower because it felt like home and…"

 

"Oh, Benny…" Lincoln sighed.

 

"And I was a lost kid but you were always there for me and I always trusted you and I don't know why you never trusted me…"

 

There was compassion in her mother's eyes. She nudged at her father's ribs and for a second, Nina could see this going alright.

 

"I know we shouldn't have left without saying a word," Benny said. "It wasn't right and it wasn't honest and I'm sorry."

 

"It wasn't," her mom replied, but she had an encouraging smile on her lips.

 

"But we're not kids anymore, Nina's a woman, a beautiful woman." Nina knew he felt that way − he had been less than subtle about it the past few days − and yet here she was, blushing like a fool girl. The things Benny awakened in her. "And I'm not a child anymore. I'm a man!"

 

"Alright, alright, you're a man!" Her dad retorted, mocking.

 

"I am! And I'm the right man for your daughter! I… I love her," − Nina's heart skipped a beat − "And I don't regret leaving camp with her. Just not being honest about it. Because we're adults, and I'm not an impressed little boy anymore, and Nina is not a little girl who needs protecting."

 

There were a few moments of awkward silence, everyone staring at him.

 

"So that's what's up…"

 

He looked at them defiantly, challenging them to have something to add to what he'd said. Camila was the first to get her footing again.

 

"Kevin, apologize!" She slapped the back of his head.

 

He groaned and muttered something under his breath that Nina was sure mustn't be from the heart.

 

"I'm sorry," he said again, this time specifically to her, his eyes shining and for the first time, she saw again how worried her parents had been.

 

"I'm sorry too," she replied, crossing the short distance that their fight had created between them. "I should have told you I was going out."

 

What she should never say, is that she'd considered staying far from El Barrio forever, even for the shortest moment. Some secrets were best kept inside, less they hurt everyone around her when they spill out. Her parents wrapped their arms around her again and this time, she found comfort in the embrace, even more when Lincoln added himself to their pile, his head against her shoulder. She'd missed that face too.

 

"I suppose," her mother said carefully, "that we might have been a little strict about you never leaving the outside."

 

She wanted to nod, but settled for holding her mom closer.

 

"I want to go out again," she said. "Not too soon, but some day, and when I tell you I'm going outside I want you to support me."

 

"We will," her mom promised.

 

There was a newfound freedom after an all-out fight, a different kind of smiles exchanged between the Rosarios. She loved her parents more than anything in the world. She loved Benny even more. She'd hated the past couple days of incertitude about every reaction she imagined they could have and felt serene after the tide had washed over it all. After the fight, her mom dragged her to the kitchen, fed her and Benny a last minute warm meal, coddled them as if to make up for the lost week or so.

 

Only hours later, and having seen neither of them, did Nina wonder what had happened to Vanessa and Usnavi.


	28. The Grown Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa and Pete have the long discussion they both really needed.

 

Vanessa had some serious sets of skills that Pete admired. She knew how to make herself disappear when she needed to, but also make herself known the second the threat was gone. When she showed up in his room that night, it was out of thin air, a finger on her lips to keep him silent.

 

It wasn't very late and Pete was asleep just yet, just lying in bed and pondering on the events of the past couple days, waiting for slumber to overtake him with no such luck as of yet. Next to him, Sonny again. His third night in Pete's bed and all three nights, Pete had been long to find sleep, and then rather restlessly when he did.

 

So Sonny liked him, and not just liked but maybe even loved? Or any other emotion that left the bonds of strictly platonic friendship. Pete felt it in his heart too, felt something tugging there, but he didn't deal with emotions. He didn't because Vanessa didn't and she'd taught him everything he knew. Trapping small game, firing a gun, bartering at a trading post, having the proper stance with a blade… Nothing about the flutter of his heart when Sonny smiled, the warmth of him when he hugged Pete, nothing at all about what to do when you think you might want to kiss someone and you're pretty sure they would like to kiss you back but you just don't find the guts… Guts, Vanessa had in plenty, or so Pete thought.

 

"Get up," she ordered, and it had been some time since she'd ordered him around. He'd grown used to no one telling him what to do but Daniela. "And out."

 

She disappeared as fast as she had arrived. Pete blinked. For a second, he wasn't even sure she'd ever been here, but he heard an impatient rapping at the door. Carefully, so as to not disturb Sonny, he extricated himself from their pile of limbs to meet Vanessa out the dormitories in the hall. A few of the youth were still awake, but not many, so he whispered for the sake of the sleeping ones.

 

"What is it?"

 

"We're leaving," she said. "Right now. Get your things."

 

His first gut reaction was to believe it was a joke, but that wasn't like Vanessa and besides, nothing spoke of jest on her face. Blank expression, if frowning a little bit, and she was fully dressed and equipped, he now noticed, with her old backpack that he hadn't seen in over a month. He'd thought to never see it again. His mind was fuzzy all of a sudden, and not from the conflicting feelings about the boy sleeping in his bed. She had spoken clearly but there seemed to be a wall between what he'd heard and his own understanding. She looked at him expectantly, everything about her stiff and unwavering. Pete tried to clear his thoughts, sort them into a mental narrative that made any sense at all, but came up as lost as ever.

 

"Wha…"

 

"I said we're leaving this damn camp." Her voice was sterner now, rough and impatient. "Come on."

 

She grabbed his arm rather more forcefully than needed and things snapped into place in his head. He snatched his arm back.

 

" _No_."

 

He couldn't leave, he wouldn't. El Barrio felt more like home than any place he'd ever been all across the wasteland in sixteen years of roaming around. He'd found a use, made something of himself here and she wanted to throw it all away? To forget about the friends he'd made here? To lose _Sonny_?

 

Vanessa took his refusal like a punch in the face. A step back, eying him from head to toe as if she couldn't recognize anymore, as if she was suspected him of having been switched up with some impostor, as if the thought of Pete disobeying her was outside of her realm of comprehension.

 

"Petie," she repeated, the way you would scold a foolish child. "You come with me right now. We're hitting the roads again."

 

"What's with you?!" He asked, and he wanted the anger to stay out of his voice but he couldn't control himself. "What the hell happened on your trip out that you want to leave?"

 

Again, emotions. Vanessa couldn't handle them. There was hurt in her eyes that Pete did not recognize, much less begin to understand.

 

"That's none of your business," she replied curtly.

 

"It's my business if you make me leave! Shit, Van, we… we got a _life_ here!"

 

"We had a life before!"

 

She was being too loud now, anger rising in her voice. He checked that the door to the dormitory was well closed − he didn't want anyone to hear this at all, not when they had friends here who trusted them, not when he'd found what affection felt like.

 

"That wasn't living and you know it," he said through gritted teeth. "Life should be about more than just surviving. Aren't we better than thieves and hoodlums?"

 

He realized at once that he had used the wrong words, though he wasn't sure what he ought to have said. He'd meant to appeal to the goodness of her heart, but the moment he talked of their past as thieves, there was a switch in Vanessa's eyes and he saw in them something he'd never seen before in his life. He saw tears. Just a hint of them and they never went as far as rolling down her cheeks, but Vanessa must have felt them too, because she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands. The gesture was hurried, afraid she wouldn't look as tough if she cried in front of him. This was a side of Vanessa he didn't know at all. Tentatively, he tried to reach out, maybe pat her shoulder but she took another step back as if his touch would have burned her.

 

"It's all we are," she said and try as she might to sound icy cold, her voice was on the verge of cracking. "It's all we'll ever be seen as."

 

Of all the things he'd always known Vanessa to be, fragile had never been on the list and yet now, he was catching a glimpse of vulnerability in her. He was in new territory. If his relationship with Sonny had taught him anything, it was to be more aware and sensitive of others' feelings and needs. On the job, they spotted the weaknesses of other camps and provided the specific help needed if they could. Pete tried to think of Vanessa the same way.

 

"Van," he said with as much affection as he could muster up − he wasn't used to being open with his feelings, but if he couldn't even show proper love to the woman who'd raised him, how could he ever hope to openly admit to his feelings for Sonny? And even more, if he couldn't convince Vanessa to let them stay, how could he even be around Sonny to have the leisure to tell him how he felt? "You gotta tell me why you wanna leave. I… _We_ got a life going on here. Did something happen?"

 

She was frowning and he knew she hated to be asked for an explanation rather than receive the full compliance she'd expected, but he kept up her gaze earnestly. After a while, she shrugged. She opened her mouth to talk but no words would come out and finally, she turned her back to him. He was afraid she'd walk away and leave camp all on her own, leave him here if he wouldn't come, but instead she talked.

 

"It's…" She gulped. "It's Usnavi. We were out in the wild, you know, the sunflower field?"

 

He nodded, realized she couldn't see him.

 

"Yeah."

 

"And we were about to… you know…" She gestured helplessly. _Oh_. "But then hounds attacked and I got us to the shack."

 

"The hideout?"

 

Pete could still remember the terror he'd felt when he had to take Sonny to the raiders hideout for their own safety during the storm. He'd been scared to shit to be rejected for his past, to be judged, a disappointment… Sonny had given him nothing but affection and support. The way Vanessa's shoulders sagged, he could see that she might not have been that lucky.

 

"Oh, Vanessa…"

 

He reached out again and this time she did not jerk away from his hand on her shoulder. Slowly, she straightened her spine, shook her head slightly, and turned back. Her eyes were wet again and she didn't bother to rub them clean.

 

"So he knows. And I can't stay here knowing he hates me for who I was."

 

Pete took a big breath. He thought of Sonny back in his bed, what they'd been doing, what they _hadn't_ been doing.

 

"Van, you can't just give up." She gave him an incredulous look, but he kept on. "Like, I know this sucks, but also this isn't the end of the world? You gotta get back up again and like, talk to him… You can't just give up whenever you're not sure what to say."

 

"Watch me," she mumbled.

 

"We been on the roads for so long! Aren't you sick of it?" She looked away. "Cause I found something here I like… I found _someone_ here I like, and so did you, and we are not going to leave them."

 

She looked like she was torn between strangling him and hugging him. He thought of what Jane had explained to him, Sonny clinging onto the last shred of his crush on Nina because it was more comfortable than dealing with the new reality of feelings for someone else.

 

"We still have things to do here…" He tried, sounding sadder than he ought to but the prospect of leaving El Barrio terrified him.

 

"There's things to do everywhere," she retorted moodily. "And I'm not wanted here."

 

"There isn't _Sonny_ anywhere else," he snapped. "You can talk, you almost fucked Usnavi, but Sonny and me haven't even kissed yet!"

 

There was a gasp behind him and the terror peaked inside him when he turned to face Sonny's sleepy face at the door. They stared at each other for a few long seconds before Sonny ran away through the hall. Just what he'd needed… His heart was pounding and he suddenly felt dizzy and Vanessa was opening her mouth and closing it without a sound coming out. The silence between them had never been so thick.

 

It was interrupted by the booming voice of the queen of El Barrio.

 

"Coño, Vanessa, what the fuck is going on?"

 

Sonny at her heels, Daniela was charging their way, madder than Pete had ever seen her. She walked him by to stop in front of Vanessa, much too close for comfort and though they were of a height, Vanessa looked so much smaller at this moment. Faced with Vanessa's silence, Daniela went on.

 

"Sonny tells me he was eavesdropping," Pete's head snapped towards Sonny but he wouldn't look back, "and that you want to leave like a thief in the night?"

 

The way Daniela's face was glowering, the wording was anything but accidental.

 

"Usnavi learned stuff about me, and I…" Vanessa started but Daniela wasn't here to listen so much as to tell off.

 

"What did he learn? That you two were bandits before El Barrio?"

 

Whatever Pete or Vanessa had been expecting, it wasn't that. Vanessa fell silent again, staring with wide eyes.

 

"You think I didn't study you before letting you in the squad?" Daniela asked. "I know a thief when I see one."

 

"Usnavi didn't wanna…"

 

"Usnavi is a fool and the only thing you need from him is a good kiss."

 

Vanessa's eyes were flashing anger and Pete was afraid she would just lash out any second. Daniela must have had the same fear.

 

"Come," she said. "We have a camp meeting to attend."

 

 

She grabbed Vanessa's backpack from her and on their way out, handed it to a messenger boy with the order to bring it back to Vanessa's elite squad quarters where it belonged. Vanessa's shoulders tightly locked inside the grip of her arm, Daniela called a few guards over and muttered to them something that Pete didn't catch. His heart almost stopped when he felt Sonny's hand slipping into his as they followed Daniela out to the central square. They shared a smile before turning to see whatever plan Daniela had in mind unfolding before their eyes.


	29. The Camp Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny wakes up Daniela to save the day and try and stop Vanessa to leave.

The central square of El Barrio had a small stage. Usually, it was used for small performances. Lincoln and Juan had a little band going on and they liked to play for a crowd every so often. Today, it would be put to a much higher purpose. After she'd ordered the security guards to gather up all dwellers of El Barrio to an emergency camp meeting, she dragged a very reluctant Vanessa onto the stage, dropped her onto a chair where she gestured to a couple of guards to watch over her in case she tried an escape. Little by little, then all at once when they saw that she was waiting for them herself, the settlers answered Daniela's call and a crowd started gathering around the stage. Vanessa looked like she wanted to run away more than ever.

 

How many people did El Barrio have by now? Daniela ought to check the data on her terminal far more often. There had to be over four hundred people around them now. Little kids yawning and clutching onto their parents' or siblings' legs, the day shift of the security team tired from a long day's work, curious eyes on Vanessa who resolutely glared at the rough planks of the stage. In the distance, Daniela spotted the Rosarios, parents bickering together and a few steps behind, Nina and Lincoln arms in arms. Benny reached behind them to hold them both tight. Daniela bit back a smile.

 

 _Where is the rest of the squad,_ she thought, _they'll want to see this_. Cuddly Ted was still out at this hour and joined the crowd alongside his family, with whom he'd been spending time in the temporary shelters for the dwellers whose homes had been struck down by the storm. Dana was the first of the squad to reach them, straight out of the soldiers barracks. She trotted towards the stage, leaning her elbows on it, staring up at Vanessa.

 

"You in trouble?" She gave a good natured smirk.

 

Neither Daniela or Vanessa granted her an answer. In the distance, Daniela finally saw the principal culprit of this whole disaster of a fight. Usnavi was a fragile little thing. Sadness radiated from him even from all the way across the large central square. It matched Vanessa's anger perfectly. Made for each other, these two little idiots.

 

Daniela cleared her throat. With her status and poise, it had never been hard to catch everyone's attention.

 

"Atención," she said, snapping her fingers. All heads turned to her. She pointed to Vanessa. "This is Vanessa Otilia García. She arrived at camp last month."

 

A unanimous nod. Vanessa might not be a social butterfly all the time, but she'd made herself useful around camp and everyone knew of her, if they hadn't personally talked to her. Many had.

 

"She thinks she doesn't belong here, but she's a silly foolish girl. Can I get a raise of hand on who is also not native from El Barrio?"

 

A sea of hands lifted up in the crowd, Daniela herself included. She was watching over them all, but secretly kept an eye on the little kitchen boy who seemed dubious of this whole event.

 

"And who did things they are not proud of before they settled here?"

 

The awkwardness of her people was palpable, but very few hands went down. She could see the Rosarios sharing a look of pain, keeping their hand up. She gestured for them all to lower their hands. Vanessa's stare was burning the back of her neck.

 

"I'm letting everyone know," she said with a flair of drama, maybe, "that Vanessa here used to be a bit of a thief before she became a rule-abiding settler of El Barrio. Today, I want to make her part of my elite squad."

 

There were a few gasps in her audience, but all were from little kids or from settlement-born adults. Daniela dared a glance at Vanessa. Arms crossed, moody pout still on her lips, she kept her eyes on the floor as soon as Daniela's were on her.

 

"I believe that people like her can become great additions to our people," she said firmly. "We've always believed that and the gates are never closed for people who want a better life. Look around at all of you who had a change of heart. Anyone can climb up if they have what it takes."

 

She let the words sink in. There were nods, people looking inspired. She caught Claudia on the distance, next to her boy − so this was where she'd been hiding all day, comforting the poor unfortunate one. Daniela herself had only heard of the fight from her security team gossiping carelessly, not knowing she was listening in, but Claudia had been lucky enough to hear from it first hand. How Daniela wished she'd been a fly on the wall listening to the boy pour his heart out. She certainly hadn't received the same open confession from her own little protégée.

 

"Nina," she called out. Best start with someone everyone knew and loved. "Come up on this stage and tell us why you trust Vanessa."

 

"Is this necessary?" Vanessa groaned and there were some whispers of agreement from the crowd but she shut them down with a glare.

 

Far from complaining, Nina promptly climbed the few steps up the stage and, standing right behind Vanessa, hands on her shoulders, began to speak.

 

"I trust Vanessa," she said, squeezing down on Vanessa's shoulders affectionately − Daniela could see that Vanessa was tensing up in return, but soon relaxed into the touch, "because she's strong and brave and is not afraid of protecting the ones she loves. She's fierce and we need people like her here. Van, we need you here," she added much lower, and Vanessa's face remained stern, hiding away the emotion.

 

"Thank you," Daniela nodded and Nina got back to Benny, pushing on his back for him to take her place.

 

Frowning in puzzlement, he took her place on the stage next to Daniela and Vanessa and looked around for help before realizing no one would talk for him if he had nothing to say.

 

"I, erm, I mean, I like Vanessa?" Vanessa bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling. "She's cool and we trained together once, she almost broke my wrist, so I think she's pretty good? Still gotta get revenge from that…"

 

People smirked and there were a few laughs. Benny winked as he got down the stage. And just like that, Daniela had won them over, her two best elements vouching for Vanessa. When the next one to volunteer on stage, Juan, talked about Vanessa helping him load fruit down to the ice basements in the kitchen, everyone was just listening quietly with a fond smile. They were into the idea. Daniela could not say for sure how many people here cared for Vanessa for earnest, how many were afraid of consequences if they did not comply, but one by one, they climbed up the steps to give their own personal testimony of why they liked having Vanessa around.

 

"I think V's pretty cool," Sonny said. "Except when she plays with my hair, but she's strong and can totally pick me up and I like that…"

 

"Vanessa's so cool," one of the messenger boys said. "She let me play with her machete to chop apples last week, that was awesome!"

 

"Vanessa's helped me find my cat when it got lost in the rumble after the storm," an older lady said, pinching Vanessa's cheek who only mildly growled at the gesture − progress.

 

"She dances so well! She's amazing to have around the tavern with us at night," Dana said, mimicking Vanessa's twists of the hips − that'd been a surprise from such a serious girl and Daniela hoped for Usnavi's sake that he'd never seen her at a dance because his heart would just burst and kill him on the spot.

 

"She let me palm her biceps," Yesenia said, which prompted a rough nudge from her Yolanda. "They're almost as hard as mine, it's pretty cool."

 

After each person speaking up, there was now some light applause. Vanessa was squirming on her chair, as if she didn't know where to put herself, but there was a smile on that grumpy face now and for that, Daniela was proud and grateful. A month was long enough to interact with a large amount of people in such a closed space and most people had a little something to say, if just a few words. Eventually, it seemed that they'd almost all had their turn and only the few last ones that mattered the most since Nina and Benny were left. Claudia nodded in all her wisdom and took her turn. Daniela helped her up the five steps to the stage, letting her cling onto her arm. Everyone applauded even before she'd said anything − the respect everyone held for Claudia was the very least she deserved. For a moment, Claudia simply stared at Vanessa with a benevolent smile, but she cleared her throat and spoke up in her high voice that contained all the kindness you could ask for.

 

"Mija, the second I saw you, I knew you were made to stay here with us. You're strong, but more importantly you're a good girl, and you have the depth of the night sky in you. Please, stay with us. Stay home."

 

Vanessa's eyes were glistening − thank god she was on her pedestal or she'd have been emotional in public. That was probably high in her list of worst nightmares. The next speaker took the stage before Daniela even had to prompt him. He knew when it was his time.

 

"Vanessa," Pete said, voice thick with emotion they both loved to hide deep inside but could not seem to manage today. "I… erm…" He took a big breath. "Thank you for my childhood."

 

He looked like he wanted to say a lot more, but his eyes contained everything his mouth could not speak out. Like a flash, Vanessa jumped off her chair and pulled him into the fiercest hug. There were _awws_ from the crowd, Carla and Nina loudest of all, but neither Pete or Vanessa let that bother them. For once in their lives, they took the affection they freely gave each other and the hug lingered long past the average Vanessa hug time. The only thing that interrupted them was the final speaker, the one Daniela had pulled on this little show for in the first place.

 

"Erm…" Usnavi muttered awkwardly, softly.

 

Pete and Vanessa broke their embrace and with one last pat on her shoulder, Pete walked down the stage, nodding in Usnavi's direction with an encouraging smile. Daniela herself took the steps down after him, leaving the two lovebirds to make up all on their own. In front of the whole camp.

 

"Vanessa," he started, but the words did not seem to want to come out.

 

"Yeah?" The hope in her voice almost broke Daniela's heart, if she had any to break.

 

"I, erm… _Please stay._ "

 

Vanessa's fingers fiddled with the handle of her machete, not looking at him, but she was biting a smile that threatened to take over her whole face.

 

"You wanna?"

 

He nodded so frantically Daniela was afraid he'd snap his head.

 

"I really… I mean, I just saw you that first day and wanted to be with you forever and, erm, I still want that… I just… I wanna be with you."

 

Benny cheered and clapped from down the crowd and Nina shushed him, probably to hear what Vanessa might reply.

 

"I wanna be with _you_ ," she simply said. "Your face is cute."

 

"Your everything is cute!" Usnavi retorted. "I just… I love you."

 

Whatever Vanessa had expected, it wasn't that. There were more than a few gasps and Vanessa looked like she wanted to hit him, but also kiss him for the rest of the night. Daniela was nothing if not generous. She'd leave Vanessa the option to do whichever she preferred.

 

"That's the end of the camp meeting," she announced. "Everyone back to their homes or dormitories. Now."

 

The last she saw of Usnavi and Vanessa, they were still on that little wooden stage, their arms locked around each other, sharing the sweetest little kiss in the world. Mission accomplished, she thought before going back to bed. Sonny had definitely made the right call by waking her to come save the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so self indulging, I'm so sorry, please forgive me. Also please PLEASE comment so I know you don't hate this fic.


	30. The Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usnavi and Vanessa reconcile after two far too long days of cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that there is explicit sexual content in this chapter. If you don't read smut, you can stop reading as soon as you feel that things are getting steamy. There isn't any plot-relevant event during or after the smut that you'll miss.

Usnavi was acutely aware of the eyes of everybody he'd ever known on him until Vanessa closed the few steps of distance between them and cupped his face to give him the best kiss of his life. It all faded away then and he barely even registered that everyone left them all on their own here, with only the night sky and the night shift guards of the security team as witnesses. All tenderness dissipated into the chill air as soon as they were alone, or as close to that as possible. Fingers digging into his skin, a hand in his hair almost painfully tight, Vanessa kissed like it was the last time they'd ever have. Usnavi prayed that there would be so many other times, every day of his life if they could.

 

When they broke the kiss, Vanessa pulled him even closer, not letting go, forehead against his. Her arms were rubbing his and even though he should feel the fresh air biting his skin, still in his tank top from being torn out of bed, he'd never felt so hot and bothered. His mind jumped to the only other time they'd kissed in the middle of the sunflower field. Then remembered how that day had ended.

 

"I'm sorry," he said and the oddest joy filled him when he heard Vanessa say the exact same thing at the exact same time.

 

She let out a breath of relief with the cutest smile Usnavi had ever seen in his life. He wanted to bring that out of her more.

 

"I shoulda… well…" He buried his head in the crook of her neck, ashamed to look at her. "I shoulda tried to understand and not assume the worst."

 

"It's fine," she sighed. "I could've told you sooner."

 

He nodded against her neck and hoped she wouldn't notice that he was smelling her hair or that she wouldn't think he was a creep for thinking she smelled good.

 

"You wanna get off?" She said and made his heart flutter with a thousand butterflies when she ended that with a kiss on the ear she'd whispered it into.

 

The flutter turned into a rush of anxiety as soon as the words hit him. Get each other off so early in this beginning of something, whatever it was between them now? Did she think he was a boy like that? He was, but that wasn't for her to know, not so soon. But then again, that kiss in the sunflower field that had gone way beyond just a kiss… Maybe this was what she thought this was about, getting off with him and maybe his love confession had been the silly words of a little boy with too much feelings for her and she was guiding him back to what really mattered. Before he knew it, his hands were shaking and Vanessa's had to slid down to still them. She looked him in the eyes and he felt so dumb.

 

"Usnavi," she said and despite everything he loved the way his name sounded on her lips. "Let's get _off this stage_."

 

"Oh." _Way to immediately jump to the naughty propositions_ , he rebuked his brain. _She was just being practical._ "Oh, yeah, of course."

 

"I don't wanna go to sleep yet," she said on their way down the steps. "But the rest of the squad is in my room…"

 

"And my family is in mine."

 

Her fingers intertwined with his as their palms hugged. At the very least, they were on the exact same page by wanting to spend some time alone, just the two of them.

 

"Kitchens?" He offered with a shrug. "They're empty now."

 

"God yeah," she sighed. "I haven't eaten today."

 

He laughed nervously. He had eaten, for sure, straight from the cache of sweets Abuela Claudia kept hidden for special sadness emergencies. All day, he'd poured his sorrow out to her. It'd been one thing to get Benny's advice and he'd appreciated that, but had also really needed his Abuela's gentle coddling, needed to feel understood and comforted.

 

"So, erm, when you wanted to leave, you were…" His voice trailed off.

 

"Upset," she said and chuckled in self-deprecation. "I chopped wood all day. Camp is gonna stay warm for a while."

 

"But now you're… I mean, you're not…"

 

"I'm not upset," she smiled, squeezing his fingers. "I've never been so not-upset."

 

Usnavi lit up a candle for them to see each other even in the dark kitchen halls at twilight. Of course, Vanessa walked inside the room like it belonged to her and began scanning the shelves for whatever snack she might find, grabbing whatever she liked. He'd never tell.

 

"Can I make you some…"

 

" _Itth thine_ ," she replied through a mouthful of bread she'd snatched from the morning leftovers. She swallowed. "It's fine."

 

She sat on the table, feet on the bench, butt where Usnavi would never dare work again now. Instead he sat down on the bench next to her, looking up at the beauty that was his… his… What _were_ they? She glanced down at him and he gave his best smile. He must have looked silly because she smirked back and messed with his hair.

 

"Vanessa, I…"

 

"Want some?" She cut him.

 

She held up a hand that contained berries but when he tried to pick one, she closed her hand, gestured for him to open his mouth. Tentatively, he obeyed and she handed him the berries one by one, her thumb lingering on his lower lip, eyes boring into his. All secrets gone between them, what else was left to stop them from being happy? He sighed contently and rested his head against her thigh as she played with the hair at his temple.

 

Vanessa straightened her back, flexed her fingers, suddenly looking like she was taking up much less space than before. Absentmindedly, she gave him another berry and kept her fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp.

 

"Usnavi, I gotta tell you, I…"

 

He perked up, glancing up at her. She was staring at the wall opposite of them. Her face was resolved and beautiful.

 

"Me too," she muttered under her breath.

 

With less confidence than earlier, she fed him another berry, as if to keep his mouth busy and most importantly, shut. He gulped it down.

 

"You too what?"

 

She gestured nervously.

 

"You know…"

 

He stared. She shrugged.

 

"What you said out there. On the stage. Me too."

 

His mind raced to remember what she might mean until all of a sudden the memory of his confession struck him and he beamed larger than fit his face.

 

"You lo…"

 

" _Don't make me say the words_ ," she said sharply, but turned soft again in a matter of seconds. "I… Yeah. I do. I think."

 

Usnavi couldn't stop smiling, not when he knew that Vanessa _loved_ him, or at the very least might love him. Her hand found his on her thigh, their fingers fitting perfectly, because everything about her was all he'd ever needed to feel complete. And when she looked at him, he swore he could actually see a trace of love in her eyes, even as she rolled them teasingly and pulled him up to her level, and standing there between the legs of a very willing Vanessa pulling his mouth to hers might well have been the coup de grâce of Usnavi's short life if kissing Vanessa didn't bring him right back from the dead.

 

"Usnavi?" She whispered, mouth so close to him he could taste the words on her lips.

 

"Mmh?"

 

Her hands slid under the light fabric of his tank top, cold fingers against his skin in the night but getting warmer from the heat of him.

 

"Remember the sunflower field?"

 

He shuddered at the memory of the hounds.

 

"The first part?" She smirked.

 

Her fingers dug into his skin, bringing him close and closer, and her mouth was busy at his neck already, the hint of a bite behind her open-mouthed kisses. Usnavi moaned. He wasn't supposed to be a green boy who got excited at the lightest touch, but this wasn't a touch from anyone, this was Vanessa, his soulmate, the one woman he felt he'd ever truly fallen in love with, and everything she did was worth a thousand times more than the rest of the world. Not that the rest of the world lined up to kiss him breathless in the middle of the night.

 

"Yeah," he whispered in the silence of the empty halls. "God yeah."

 

"I wanna finish what we started," she said in a voice that had no right sounding as seductive as it did.

 

Like a young boy, he felt his dick stiffen in his pants. _No self control whatsoever,_ he chided himself. _She'll be the death of you._

"I want _you_ ," he answered, hands shaking at the thought that he could unbuckle her overalls himself right now and it wouldn't be unwelcome, that he wasn't being a freak after all, that she wanted him back.

 

She was more forward than him, of course she was. Rather than letting him ponder if he should make his move, she took matters in her own hands and tugged on his top, tearing it off him and throwing it away carelessly. He shivered in the chill of the night − there wasn't a heating unit in the kitchen halls, as they were kept hot by the ovens when they were running − but Vanessa brought him close to her, her hands palming his lower back, and between her legs he soon felt like nothing could touch him, not even the cold.

 

There was something so inherently naughty about being here with her. Realistically, Usnavi did not expect to get caught, not in the kitchens and not so late at night, but just the thought that anyone could walk in on them at any time set him abraze like nothing before. He was already panting like an idiot by the time Vanessa finally took pity on him and rubbed his dick through his light pants − he ought to feel ashamed at how hard he already was, but the moan she let out when she felt him was enough to silence any shame.

 

"Can I…" he hesitated, "I mean, is it okay if I take off your…"

 

She snorted and tossed her braids back, leaning back to let him unbuckle the straps of her overalls. With febrile hands, he undid them, and she even let him pull off her top, the bandages covering her breasts that were now bared for him. She kicked off her boots and he was almost sure he heard them knock into something fragile but he didn't find it in him to care. He couldn't help kissing all that skin he got to see, her shoulders, breasts, hands at her waist, feeling a softness about her that he never really saw before.

 

"Oh my god," he whispered against her neck as her hand slipped into his pants to stroke him. "Oh my god, oh my god."

 

"Don't come too soon," she smirked, biting his earlobe. "I want some fun too."

 

"You're just… ugh…"

 

She kicked off her overalls to the floor like it was nothing, like she wasn't ruining him forever, seeing her naked on the kitchen table where he was supposed to work every day, like this wasn't the single most beautiful view he'd ever seen in his life. There'd never been anything as enticing as her and the way she pulled on his hips, tugging down his pants and he felt like the luckiest little kitchen boy in the world.

 

"C'mon," she told him hurriedly.

 

She pressed his hand against her and Usnavi could feel how hot and wet she was, pulsing against him, her eyes boring into his to show him how ready she was for him. With a nod from her, he let himself enter her for the first time and he couldn't stop the groan that escaped him at the sensation. Only a few weeks since he met her, but an eternity in his own eyes.

 

"Mmh yeah, that's it," she moaned, arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss.

 

He tried his best, he really tried to keep it reasonably slow, keep a pace that would make it last for the both of them, but she was too delicious, too perfect, and the way she wrapped her long beautiful legs around his waist and pushed her hips against him with every thrust of his, she wasn't making it any easier.

 

"Vanessa…"

 

"Shh, baby, no talking," she told him and maybe he ought to have remembered that from the last time two days ago.

 

Usnavi was entirely fine with not talking, if it meant he was allowed to have sex with the most beautiful woman in the world. There was more than enough to enjoy without saying a word. His knees were raw from the rough wood of the bench but it was all worth it if he had Vanessa under him. He leaned down, craving more contact, needing to touch her, to feel her body against his. On a whim of courage, he untied her braids and her hair cascaded on her shoulders, gorgeous waves of black silk. He pressed his face against her neck, burying it in her hair and their bodies were so damn close, every part touching, or so it felt to him.

 

Usnavi loved sex, ideally good sex, but what he loved about it went far beyond getting his dick warm and cozy. It was the emotion inherent to it, the trust, a woman's arms around him and her lips on his skin and feeling treasured and cherished. He'd never had sex with someone he didn't at least have a crush on, and his feelings for Vanessa went far beyond a little crush. He was in love with her. Making love to her felt as natural as breathing.

 

"Usnavi," she moaned, pulling him out of the beautiful thoughts. "Can you get off?"

 

"Huh?"

 

 _Could he get off?_ What did she think he was doing? Only minutes into this, and already better than all the thousands of shameful wanks he'd had in his life, deep in his bunk late at night, trying to be as silent as he could. Of course he could get off, the real issue was restraining himself so she didn't think him a loser who couldn't control his dick.

 

"Get off _me_ ," she clarified but before he could scramble off her in apology, she pulled him even closer and, without a warning, rolled them around so she was on top. "Mmh, much better."

 

And how much better it _was_ , being all laid down on the table with her above him as the only view. Her legs surrounding him, scratchy against his thighs, hands flat on his torso, she was made for this position, made for being in charge. She rode him mercilessly and all he could do was lay there at her disposal, fingers digging into her hips despite himself, hips bucking up.

 

"You're pretty from up here," she said, her voice far softer than the pace she inflicted on him.

 

Her hand cupped his face, a caress, and he leaned into the touch. What had started as hurried and messy was suddenly turning into something soft and beautiful and perfect − what else than perfection from Vanessa?

 

"Very pretty," she repeated and he kissed the inside of her palm.

 

Her hair framed her face and fell down on his, a dark curtain from the rest of the world.  He had no idea how he was even able to hold it in, how he hadn't cracked as soon as she'd even kissed him, but he knew for sure it wouldn't be long now. The way Vanessa moved, rolling her hips on his, a hand cupping her own breast, like she was above it all, like nothing mattered except her pleasure here in the middle of the night. And nothing else did matter, he thought. He shoved two fingers in his mouth to coat them wet and pressed them on her clit, rubbing it with each thrust of her hips on him.

 

" _God_ yeah…"

 

He was being good, he saw plain on her face, he was giving her what she wanted. When he finally had to snap and let it go, because he couldn't restrain himself any longer, at least it was with the knowledge that he'd pleased her and indeed, she wasn't long to follow, clamping down on his dick, head thrown back. She rode it all out until the last of it, and then some more to be sure, and Usnavi could have died on the spot and yet died a happy man.

 

Vanessa smiled, brushing a sweat-drenched curl off his forehead. She leaned down to kiss him much more tenderly than he deserved. Short-lived softness, of course, as it seemed to always be glimpses of it with her. She rolled off him and stood up, the sight of her parading around the kitchens entirely naked also too much for him.

 

"You can talk now," she smirked.

 

"Whatcha doing…"

 

She hummed in response and grabbed a bucket that she filled at the large sink near them. She began cleaning herself and there was something so domestic and beautiful in watching her that Usnavi almost lost himself in the thoughts until she turned around and splashed him with the water on her fingers. He winced, she laughed.

 

"I'm not gonna go to bed all sticky," she said. "And neither should you."

 

He joined her, grabbed a rag from the shelf, but as soon as he'd started washing, a disturbing thought came over him.

 

"I don't wanna go to bed!" He cried out.

 

Vanessa stared at him dubiously.

 

"Not… not without you," he explained. "Can we, like, stay here?"

 

"Sleep… in the kitchens?"

 

"There's a bunk in the pantry! And, I mean, I wanna be with you tonight…"

 

She seemed to think about it for a while, but nodded. His heart dropped in relief.

 

"A'ight, but I'll wake you up before dawn. If your boss finds us, we dead."

 

They managed to find a blanket to cover them both. If Vanessa rolled her eyes when Usnavi picked all their clothes and tidied them into a neat pile next to the bunk, at least it was with fondness and she didn't comment on it. The bunk was much too small for two people, but Usnavi didn't feel like they were two people, he felt like one with her and wrapped around her, he'd never felt so safe. He could not believe that he'd ever thought she was any sort of threat.

 

"I love you," he sighed and the words felt even more natural than the first time.

 

"Mmh," she hummed but the kiss on his cheek meant everything.

 

He tucked her close to him, every portion of their bodies in contact, and the quiet of her breathing lulled him to sleep.


	31. The Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete and Sonny take a moment to breathe.

Pete had never really thought there was something special about him, anything about his appearance, but now it seemed to him that his hands held a little magic in them because they were holding Sonny's hands. After the camp meeting, as everyone went back to their dwellings, still Sonny's fingers were intertwined with his and their steps led them to the same place, Pete's bed.

 

There were many things on Pete's heart, more than it could handle, but rather than draining him, he felt like the love bursting from inside him was setting him light and free. He was a butterfly flowing with the wind, buzzing with every new sensation. Around them, the other people with whom he shared his dormitory were going back to bed, yawning and joking around about Vanessa. Pete was filled with pride that they'd managed to get her to stay, but more than that, his mind was on the fact that he was going to stay with Sonny for the foreseeable future, forever if he could. He felt like there was a bubble around them that set them apart from the rest of the group.

 

He had said out loud that he wanted to kiss Sonny, at least had implied it, and Sonny had overheard. And here he was, holding Pete's hands, sliding under the same blanket as him, in his bed. That in itself was a miracle, that the thought of kissing him didn't turn Sonny completely off. Less of a miracle was the fact that it hadn't happened yet, but without words Pete and Sonny had perfectly fallen into the same understanding that a kiss in a room full of other people was not what they wanted their first kiss to be.

 

Still, the rest of that night, albeit silent, made Pete's heart thrum. Facing each other in Pete's bed, both of them exhausted after a long town meeting but not wanting to be the one to doze off first. They held hands even then, both of them periodically glancing down at their joined hands on the pillow between them with a smile on their face. In the end, Pete never really knew who fell asleep first, but the next thing he knew, he was gently shaken awake by Sonny in the early hours.

 

He could have thought it was a dream but there was nothing unreal about Sonny's hand on his shoulder and the sparkle in his gaze as he nodded towards the door for Pete to follow him. Pete rubbed his eyes.

 

"What's up?" He asked, stifling a yawn.

 

"I couldn't sleep," Sonny whispered excitedly. "Not much, anyway."

 

Pete had been sleeping perfectly fine but he supposed that was beside the point. Sonny grabbed his hand and pulled him through the meander of camp till they reached the kitchens. The sky was a beautiful dark shade of gray, not quite dawn yet.

 

"I was thinking," Sonny said as he pulled the large sliding door open. "We should go have a picnic, you and I."

 

"Right now?" Pete asked, smirking. "Sonny, it's not even morning."

 

"I know, I wanna see the sunrise!"

 

Pete thought about it and shrugged. If he was up, what was the hurt in it anyways? He followed Sonny inside the kitchens, the empty still of the room so different from the usual hustle of its staff. Pete wondered what time they started their shift, if they had more time before fortuitously meeting a member of the staff.

 

Sonny began to saunter around the room. He looked so cute, Pete thought, the way he fussed over which fruit to pick, settling on peaches, struggling to fit everything into a small bag one-handedly.

 

"Let me," Pete said and held the bag for him while Sonny stashed bread, fruit, slices of dried meat, a water pouch, everything they needed for a nice breakfast for two. Once Sonny had rummaged the shelves of everything they wanted, Pete helped him tie the knot and they were ready to leave, a gun at Pete's hip for security. Almost ready.

 

"Thanks," Sonny said and kissed Pete on the lips.

 

It happened so fast, barely a peck on the lips, and none seemed more surprised by it than Sonny himself. Large eyes widening in shock, he brushed fingers against his own lips, as if he doubted that the kiss he'd initiated had even happened in the first place, as if he couldn't believe that their first kiss had come and gone without either of them seeing it coming.

 

Rolling with a surge of courage, Pete leaned down to kiss Sonny again before he could talk himself out of it and there was nothing inadvertent about their second kiss. Pete gently cupped Sonny's face as their lips touched and even though he'd never done this before, he knew he wanted to kiss Sonny again and again for the rest of his life. There was something addictive about the feel of Sonny's face between his hands, Sonny's arms wrapped around his neck, the space between their bodies closing up, bag forgotten on the floor. In the quiet of pre-dawn, there was nothing to disrupt them.

 

Until someone cleared their throat behind them. Sonny jumped to the ceiling and hid behind Pete, peeking over his shoulder to glance at the intruder and then rolling his eyes and coming out to meet her when he recognized her.

 

"Good morning," Vanessa said, like an asshole, leaning against the counters, sipping a cup of juice. She tried to hide her smirk behind it − not very well. Her overalls, he noticed, were unstrapped, hastily put on, her hair was loose.

 

"What the hell, V?!" Sonny yelped. "How long you been here?"

 

"A while," she replied and Pete felt his insides crumbling in embarrassment. "I thought you wanted me to _stay_ in camp."

 

Sonny's face was red in anger and Pete wanted to calm him down, maybe rub his shoulders, but not in front of Vanessa, he couldn't.

 

"Muñeca, who are you talking to?"

 

Usnavi walked out of the pantry in his sleep pants, mid way into putting on a tank top, but when his head popped out of it and he saw the three of them, his face burned as red as Sonny's and he had nothing to say. Sonny wasn't so silent.

 

"Oh my god, Usnavi, be decent!" He squeaked, glaring at his cousin.

 

His eyes kept going between the two of them, unsure who to be mad with. Pete wasn't quite sure what prompted such anger.

 

"I'm dressed!" Usnavi retorted curtly. "What are… What are you two doing here?"

 

"We're going out on a picnic," Sonny replied curtly. "Doing our thing."

 

Somehow he did not deem useful to mention what they actually _had_ been doing.

 

"What, right now? Sonny, you can't just leave camp without telling! Look at what Nina did and…"

 

"Oh, and I was supposed to wake you up and tell you?" Sonny said. "You weren't exactly in your bunk last night…"

 

Usnavi's face fell and Vanessa had to walk over and wrap an arm around his waist to comfort him, a glaring contest between her and Sonny.

 

"So you go have your picnic now," she said. "Son', come kiss your cousin goodbye."

 

Reluctantly, Sonny pressed a quick, halfhearted kiss on Usnavi's cheek and with a last glance back, dragged Pete out of the kitchens, leaving Vanessa whispering something in Usnavi's ear, most likely to soothe him.

 

The guards let them out of camp without a problem after a short explanation and out in the wasteland they went, hand in hand. Pete hesitated for a minute, but facing Sonny's silence, he felt like he had to say something.

 

"So, erm, what was that about?"

 

Sonny stared at him blankly.

 

"I don't know what you mean."

 

Pete left it at that for the time being. They walked in silence, Sonny leading the way. After a while they reached a rocky hill that Sonny insisted they climbed and the view at the top of it was outstanding.

 

"This is cool," he said, sitting down on the edge on the cliff, legs dangling in the air.

 

Cautiously, Sonny sat down next to him, head leaning against Pete's shoulder and Pete wrapped an arm around him. Being close to Sonny felt so natural, like something he'd always been supposed to do, and he wanted to always make him happy. Always make sure he was.

 

"Are you upset?"

 

"Mmh?" Sonny perked up.

 

"That Van and your cousin… well, you know what they did."

 

Sonny snapped his head towards Pete, gulping down a big bite of the peach he'd been gnawing on.

 

"So they _did_ do it, right?"

 

"Think so," Pete shrugged.

 

Usnavi wasn't exactly the first person to share Vanessa's bed. Pete wasn't surprised by it. She was free to do what she wanted. He did feel like Usnavi would probably stay in her bed for much longer than any other before.

 

"I just don't get how they can just… you know? It's so soon!"

 

Two months seemed to Pete an eternity, compared to her history of getting close to newly met strangers.

 

"She likes to… I mean, we never talked about it or anything, that'd be gross, but, but she definitely likes, erm, sex."

 

"And Usnavi," Sonny sighed.

 

Vanessa liked sex and Usnavi, Pete pondered. Besides painting a very reductive picture of her, it wasn't untrue.

 

"I think it's too soon."

 

He scooted over to a couple feet away from Pete, arm's distance but even so short, Pete felt that it wasn't to be breached. He waited for Sonny to talk. The sky was a lighter shade of gray than it'd been, with streaks of orange and purple on the horizon. The view would have been lovely if it'd been what Pete was looking at. Sonny was lovelier.

 

"Do _you_ wanna do it so soon?" Sonny finally asked, barely a whisper, nothing like his usual.

 

Pete thought about it. He'd never had sex in his life, didn't even really know how it worked with another boy. He had no idea if it was even different. Oh sure, he knew enough about feeling horny to know that some day, sex would probably be something he'd like, but he wasn't at that point yet.

 

"Right now?" Sonny nodded. "Not really."

 

Sonny's shoulders dropped in relief. He hugged his knees, a little ball of stress from what Pete could tell.

 

"I don't either," Sonny said. "Not right now."

 

"Well, we don't have to, I mean…"

 

There it was again, plain on Sonny's face, the fear that Jane had told him about, the fear of change. Except that things weren't changing anymore, not beyond anything they'd already done.

 

"It's…" Sonny took a big breath, and another one, and still looked quite nervous. "It's my body."

 

Pete frowned. Sonny's body, god bless, was a beautiful thing, the little he'd seen of it.

 

"When I was born," Sonny began to tell and his voice was shaking like he was about to cry. Pete wanted to hold him and make him never cry in his life, but something about the way Sonny held himself, the earnest voice, made him remain silent. "Abuela Claudia delivered me, actually, but it's not her, it was… Well, everyone in camp, really."

 

"What'd they do?" Pete asked, his voice low as a whisper as well, naturally finding himself imitating Sonny.

 

"Everyone thought I was a girl. Cause of, well…" He gestured to his lower body in general. "Gave me a girl's name. I don't wanna say it."

 

"You don't have to," Pete replied softly.

 

He wasn't sure he was really understanding what Sonny was saying. He thought he'd heart things like that, years on the roads, you meet all sorts of people, but Sonny didn't look like he was done so Pete kept listening.

 

"I was like, I think eight and I realized it's all bullshit, you know? I'm not a girl, I don't _wanna_ be a girl, I'm… I'm not."

 

"Yeah," Pete let out a breath he had no idea he'd been holding. "Yeah, you're definitely not a girl."

 

"I mean," Sonny leaned back on his hands in the dry grass, staring ahead at the horizon. He looked more comfortable. "I love girls, but as someone else, not me."

 

"Girls are fine," Pete nodded. "I mean, I guess. I'm just into boys. I'm just into you," he added nervously but there was tenderness in Sonny's smile at his words.

 

"Even if my body is like a girl's?"

 

"Your body is your own, it's not like anyone's." He hesitated before adding, "You're my boy."

 

Sonny looked at him blankly for a few seconds before snorting and lying down, his head on Pete's lap.

 

"Yeah, I'm your boy."

 

It was soothing to watch the sunrise here on this cliff, fingers stroking Sonny's curls. They eat in silence for the most part, just happy to be sharing each other, to be together. The sun was well up in the sky when they stood up again to walk back to camp. Hand in hand, they crossed the gates of El Barrio.

 

Around them, still the broken buildings, still the flooded quarters, still the displaced people whose dwellings were destroyed with the storm. Still the life and reality of camp.

 

"What now?" Sonny asked.

 

Pete looked at him. There was a bit of wind blowing through the gates into camp and it made Sonny's hair tremble with every waft. Pete squeezed his hand.

 

"Now, we're gonna be happy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last chapter from Pete's point of view of this story, friends. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought of Sonny and Pete's storyline overall!


	32. The Happy Delivery Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usnavi gets to work after waking up in the kitchens with Vanessa.

How Usnavi managed to sneak back into his dwelling to get changed and come back to work without Señora Rosario seeming to learn about his tryst with Vanessa at his own workplace by the time he got back, he had no idea. His aunt was something else, smirking at him from her own bed across the room, completely in on him. Thank god she hadn't said anything in early morning for Abuela Claudia's sake, who was still snoring in her padded bed in the corner. Usnavi had put on his work clothes as fast as he could and even arrived in the kitchens before the rest of the team.

 

"You're early," Camila commented.

 

She was the only person sitting at the table, going over the meal plans of the day, and she didn't even look up at his entrance. Relieved, because he didn't mind attention but preferably coming from someone who didn't scare the crap out of him every time she opened her mouth, he sat down at the big table but suddenly remembered the last time he'd been sitting in that very same spot and sprung up again.

 

"Can I get bread duty today?!" He squeaked, way suspicious, but he couldn't help himself.

 

She eyed him with just a tad of suspicion but that was the usual when he was being fidgety, and she simply nodded her permission. Usnavi couldn't trot away to the ovens too soon. He didn't prefer baking duty over his usual tasks, but at least, it was in its own separate room and far from his shame. He probably wouldn't feel up to working at the big table for quite a while, not with the memories of Vanessa's naked legs around his waist and the way her hair cascaded and the glint in her eyes… _Oy, sucio_ , he chided himself and ignored his body's reaction at the memories to get to work and do his job.

 

If Camila had ignored him, the same certainly couldn't be said of the rest of the team. Carla was the first to find him at the baking station, pressing into his side excitedly as she grabbed a batch of dough to knead alongside him.

 

"Soooo…" She said knowingly, pinching his cheek.

 

Usnavi had always been fond of Carla − who wasn't? − but less endearing was the way she looked at him like he was a hot piece of gossip she longed to decorticate and then run to tell all the details to Doña Daniela. 

 

"¿Qué?"

 

"Vanessa and you, huh?"

 

Her eyes were glinting with warmth and he felt like a little boy under the teasing gaze of an older sister. Could she _know_? Were there cameras in the kitchens to check on the happenings during the night? There wasn't enough cameras in camp to afford one in such a place as the kitchens, right? But did Doña Daniela know? Had she sent her many spies his way? He shifted in place, trying to not show his nerve.

 

"What about us?"

 

"Come on, tell me," she whispered, watching over their shoulder that they weren't being listened to. " _You told her you love her._ Did she say anything? Did you have a nice talk?"

 

Oh, of course Carla would ask him about romantic tidbits. He had no idea why he even thought she would partake in the kind of vulgar gossip their queen was so fond of. He remembered Vanessa's words − or lack thereof − and smiled.

 

"We had a very nice talk," he said. "She ain't leaving."

 

"Oh, Usnavi, I'm so happy for you!" Carla hugged him tight. "I knew you would find love. Jane had faith."

 

Usnavi's heart warmed at the thought that his family had been rooting for him, hoping for the best for him just as he always, always did for them. Carla spent the rest of their morning chores together, baking sweet bread and exchanging knowing smiles. He felt light and happy when he went onto the delivery round, his favorite part of the job.

 

Everywhere around camp, people clapped his back, old tías kissing his cheeks, everyone proud and happy for him. Usnavi knew everyone in camp, talked to them all at least once a day on his deliveries and they seemed to all be giving back what affection he liked to spread around him.

 

"Que bueno, mijo," they all commented on last night's camp meeting.

 

Usnavi took the pinches, the pats, the congratulations, and carried them, the love of them with him around camp in all his happiness.

 

In the dining halls, Nina and Benny were sitting together, probably way too close, talking into each other's ear as if the rest of the world didn't exist. Usnavi wasn't too sure he was supposed to intrude, but Nina waved at him, calling him over.

 

"Hey, erm…"

 

He felt like he was invited to something fresh and beautiful that he should leave alone.

 

"Don't be silly, Usnavi," Nina ordered. "Sit with us."

 

Awkwardly, Usnavi got the last few rations of breakfast of his basket and passed them to Benny and Nina before taking a seat across the table from them. He wanted to dig in but found his stomach suddenly knotted. For the first time in his life, he wished Nina weren't here with him because now that Benny was right in front of him, he longed to confess everything that had happened to him (leaving out the smutty details that were none of his business), his best friend of always. But then Nina smiled at him with just as many years of friendship and kindness and he knew that there was nothing he could tell Benny that he couldn't also share with Nina.

 

"So, erm, me and Vanessa, we're…"

 

Benny reached across to offer Usnavi a fistbump.

 

"You done it, brother," he said. "It's all one smooth ride from now, the hard part was getting the girl to like you."

 

Nina nudged his ribs rather forcefully.

 

"No it wasn't!" She retorted and at Usnavi's panic she added, "I mean, this wasn't hard at all. Vanessa has liked you from the first."

 

Usnavi felt his cheeks warm up under Nina's benevolent smile.

 

"Yeah," he breathed out. "She said she… well… yeah."

 

Nina's mouth dropped open in surprise and she slapped Benny's arm. Both of them stared at him and Usnavi felt very exposed, but also very loved and cared for.

 

"She said it?!" Nina cried out and realized she'd been loud, and repeated in a still very loud whisper. "She actually said it?"

 

"Sort of… How'd you know she feels it anyways?"

 

Nina looked smug and crossed her arms contentedly.

 

"We also had our little heart to heart on the road back home. You weren't the only one with a lot to process through."

 

He lowered his eyes, but she took his hand and stroked a thumb against his palm gently.

 

"Vanessa was like," her voice dropped an octave, mocking Vanessa's tone, " _I don't care about camp, I could leave right now, but Usnavi is like,_ fine _, I don't hate him, and I'd stay just for him if he wanted me._ So I knew it was real love."

 

Benny burst out laughing, Usnavi chuckled. Inside, he felt so very glad that Vanessa's real half confession of love had been much more intimate than that, and for him only.

 

"So we're all back to square one now," Benny pondered. "Now that we're back here and Vanessa's not leaving…"

 

Usnavi nodded. It felt good to be home and loved and for Nina and Benny to be safe and sound back here as well. And he was happy they had found each other.

 

"I don't think so," Nina commented, pensive.

 

Half-absently, Nina exchanged her portion of peach jam with Benny's apple ration and it made Usnavi so happy and a bit in awe at how in sync Nina and Benny already were, supposedly only together for a few days and already knowing details like each other's breakfast preferences. How long must they have been very close friends to be yet closer now. They had an intimacy that went well beyond what he had with Vanessa. It was like Benny and Nina had jumped straight into the relationship, and so hard and fast that they'd landed deep into old married couple territory. Both of them looked at each other like the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen, like a precious stone or a baby calf.

 

"I think all of us learned a little bit about ourselves on our trip on the outside," Nina said.

 

There it was again, that look that Benny gave Nina. All of them were proud of her but he took it to a whole other level.

 

"And we're ready to do things we wouldn't have done before."

 

Usnavi choked on a bite of bread as he thought about lying on the kitchen table and Vanessa's body above him, and he blushed.

 

"So we're all the way over to square two, I guess?"

 

She smirked.

 

"What's square three got in store for us…" Benny wondered.

 

Nina took a big breath and stood up.

 

"Well, I know what it's got in store for me," she said. "If you'll excuse me, I have a talk long overdue with Daniela."

 

She was about to leave but Benny took her hand one last time and pressed a kiss onto it before letting her go with pink cheeks and a beautiful smile. He watched her walk away all the way across the hall before turning back to Usnavi and, both hands on the table, he pushed himself up.

 

"Time for a bit of sweat on that brow," he said, patting Usnavi's shoulder. "I have work and _you_ have company…"

 

Usnavi snapped his head back and, on the other side of the room, a ray on sunshine at her back, there was his lovely princess, there was his sun and moon, there was his north and south. Vanessa spotted him in the distance and gave him the sweetest, loveliest smile, walking towards him. She leaned down to kiss him and messed with his hair. And there were Usnavi's squares three to infinity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last Usnavi chapter of the fic! Please tell me how you liked his story overall and what you would like to see in sequel works in this AU.


	33. The Reconstruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina leads a camp meeting.

 

For so long, Nina had had the feeling that revising her plans for the future and being satisfied with less than the initial goal was a failure. Settling for less was a mistake and below her. She thought that longing for more and seeing the future was incompatible with present happiness. But if her trip to the outside had taught her anything, it was that there was so much more to life than everything she'd known. Learning to be content with what she had, to face the challenges life threw at her, was being smart too. Learning to adapt. She could keep her head up. She could be satisfied with her current situation and still strive towards more. She could be happy facing the future and embracing what she had. Happy with things being good enough.

 

"Enough," she told Benny, an indecent moan. Her face was flushed, her body sated to completion. "I'm good."

 

Benny perked up from between her legs, thumbs rubbing gentle circles on the inside of her thighs. She loved the way his eyes were lidded, like he was waking up from a beautiful dream.

 

"Not one more?" He asked, pouting.

 

"You have to learn to have enough," she smiled.

 

Combing her fingers through his hair, she could sit here on the counter of her lab for hours if Benny was up for it (and the past couple weeks had taught her that he was), but the rest of the team was bound to arrive within the hour and she did not want to risk being short of time to make herself presentable again, much less be caught. With a last kiss on her thigh, he stood up and chivalrously offered his hand for her to jump down the high counter. She took the hand, and also one quick hug before looking for her pants that she'd discarded rather hastily before they'd started all their naughty business. As she put them on, Benny wrapped his arms around her stomach from behind, squeezing lightly, dropping kisses on her shoulder line. She rolled her eyes − with fondness, even though he couldn't see her.

 

"You know I have a meeting," she said, did not ask. "I can't be late to a meeting I set up."

 

"Alright," he whispered in her ear, and he had to know how she loved this voice, longed for it. He made no sign of letting go, but she turned around and gave him a kiss before gently pushing on his chest.

 

"You'll be there, right?"

 

He smiled and handed her the lab coat she'd also gotten rid of, which she put on and buttoned it up immediately, so as to stop herself from what she craved to do, which was take it off again and get her butt back on that counter and Benny back on his knees before her. Or the other way around. She hadn't missed the way he'd adjusted his pants standing up, but there was no time. They'd already been imprudent, spending all night down here.

 

"Of course," he promised. "I'll be in the first row."

 

"Good," she breathed out, not even noticing she'd been keeping her breath in. "Good."

 

Benny had managed to distract her from the nerves for quite a while (pretty long, if she had to admit) but donning her confident face proved much harder than putting on her work clothes. Of course, he picked up on the anxiety starting to build inside her. He always did.

 

"C'mere," he said, holding up his arms for her to find her favorite place in the world in his embrace. "You're gonna be amazing, I promise."

 

"I'm nervous," she confessed, head buried into his torso.

 

He stroked her hair, keeping her close.

 

"Just amazing," he repeated and she almost believed him. She nodded into him as he rubbed her back. She wanted to stay here for twenty, two hundred minutes, tight against Benny, but she had a meeting to lead and he had to at least _pretend_ to be a good soldier who slept soundly in his own bed and certainly didn't stay down here all night having some alone time with his girl. Reluctantly, she let go.

 

"See you later?" She made sure.

 

He nodded and with a kiss on the cheek, he left her to her thoughts and ideas and, more importantly, to her planning. She waved him goodbye before before letting out a deep sigh and dropping onto her stool. Excitement and fear were fighting in her heart and she was afraid that the latter would win. She gathered the papers that had been scattered around when in their passion, Benny had grabbed her and pulled her on the counter which was her desk. They'd seemed not to matter then but she saw that a few pages were smudged now. How relieving that these were just copies to hand around the vast crowd of workers when she would officially announce the opening of the reconstruction of El Barrio. She had the full plan safely kept.

 

"You can do this," she told herself in the empty room. "You're smart and you don't love big crowds but you can do this."

 

If everything went according to plan, she'd be able to do this. And if the plan didn't work out exactly, well, then she'd just adapt and make do with what would happen. She trusted herself to do it, but above all she trusted the camp and its dwellers to roll with it. This was their future as much as it was hers. 

 

All of this was with Daniela's good will and permission, of course. After she'd come back from the wasteland, Nina had requested a private meeting with Daniela − not that she really needed to book anything, she wasn't oblivious to the fact that Daniela was quite fond of her, which was reciprocated, and she knew she could have just walked into her office, but she had wanted a formal context to make a bigger impression. And what an impression it'd been, presenting her whole project to Daniela for the first time, her pride and joy, enhanced with everything she'd learned on her trip on the outside. Daniela had listened to her carefully, had even taken notes and asked smart relevant questions when Nina was done. With her full approval, Nina had sent out invitations to local settlements and per their enthusiastic agreement, all the volunteer workers in the larger area were set to arrive today. Sonny had complained about the many trips he'd had to make across the wasteland, but he had his new buddy on the messenger team and if Nina was to believe the rumors that had spread in her absence, buddies was the lightest description of their relationship. They probably didn't get bored one minute on the roads.

 

Daniela had been keen on starting early, just short of a week after she'd presented the plan at all, all the materials ordered and gathered to get started as soon as possible, and the rest would come as construction went. It was true, after all, that with camp destroyed, reconstruction was pressing and Nina felt at her back the needs of the people. They would start with the more damaged areas, the east side where all residencies had been flooded, and of course the radio tower. Nina had noticed its absence like a punch in the gut when she'd arrived but the very first night back, she'd set herself to draw a plan of a newer, bigger, better one and she felt confident that it would be adequate for all its dwellers. She'd invited an expert on electronics from the City to arrive today and she hoped Lincoln's radio service would be vastly improved from it. Then would come all the other areas of camp, one by one. The kitchens had to be renovated, the farming sector had to be completely revised to allow more breathing space to the plantations and give room to protected pastures just outside of camp. Some walls would be broken down only to be reconstructed sturdier and stronger at a farther distance. Camp would not just be better equipped and accommodated but also larger to fit all the newcomers.

 

It would be a huge amount of work, she knew. Every part of camp could be, would be ameliorated and the plan could take months, years to be completed. She couldn't wait to see the end result, to have laid out before her eyes what had been in her mind for so long. The best thing of all was that she wouldn't be directing it alone, but with the help of the maintenance and engineering team, and more specifically with her father's accord. Of course, she had rather asked for forgiveness, only letting him know about the imminence of the reconstruction once she had secured Daniela's approval, but still. They'd gone over the plan together at dinner for the past few days and he supported her in every way.

 

She read and read again the instructions until they were burned in her memory. Before she knew it, the time for revision had passed and there was a knocking at the door. Before she could answer, she saw the happy face of her boy, her man, coming to pick her up.

 

"Had a good night's sleep?" She teased, knowing full well he'd had no sleep, or in any case none in his bed.

 

"My night was perfect, thank you very much," he said and kissed her cheek.

 

He offered her his arm and guided her out onto the central square where the meeting was supposed to take place. Everyone was here, she saw, her heart throbbing in her chest at the sight of dozens of people, maybe hundreds, gathered here to help her make something special.

 

"You're ready, sweetheart?" He asked when they reached the small stage where someone had given her a pulpit − she suspected Benny as well.

 

She turned to him, to the crowd where she recognized the faces of everyone she knew, all the hand workers of El Barrio. On the other side of the square, her father smiled at her.

 

 

"I'm ready."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last Nina chapter! Just the epilogue left now, which will be posted tomorrow. Please tell me what you thought of Nina's storyline and I beg you, leave one last comment to let me know. Even just a word to let me know what you liked about her story.


	34. Epilogue: The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa wakes up at dawn and welcomes newcomers to camp.

Sunshine was veering through the holes cut in the walls of the large containers that were the elite squad quarters. The day was starting and by Dana's snoring, Vanessa judged it wouldn't be much longer till she woke up. She was always loudest right before waking up. Clutched around her, Usnavi was still breathing deeply, his patches of hair he liked to call a beard scratching her skin. He made some sound in his sleep, like a small animal, nuzzling against the crook of her neck, arm tightening around her waist. She smiled, kissed his brow before nudging him gently.

 

" _Usnavi_."

 

He hummed and, still in his sleep, his lips were pressing kisses against her neck. One of his legs slid between her naked ones, and was that his…

 

"Hey there, lover boy, you gotta go," she chuckled.

 

Some more adorable little sounds Vanessa wished she could put in a little box and preserve forever, and a flat palm riding up her naked back, but now Dana's nose was twitching, she could see it from all across the room, and who knew how much longer they had before getting caught. She shoved Usnavi sharply off the bed.

 

"Oy!" He yelped, "What the…"

 

She gestured for him to shut it and he immediately obeyed.

 

"Get dressed and get out," she mouthed, nodding in the direction of the thankfully still sleeping Dana who no one wanted to catch them huddled together and naked again.

 

He pouted, but did get his clothes from where he'd arranged them all nicely last night on the crate next to her bed that served as a nightstand. So early in the morning that the sun wasn't even up, his naked ass scrambling to regain some decency, she could really stand to see much more of that. Alas, the call of duty was ever pressing and Daniela had demanded that she be on the training yard before breakfast was served. Vanessa stood up and picked up her own clothes from the much less neat pile on her side of her single person bunk. She felt his eyes burning through her back. Indeed, when she turned around, Usnavi had stopped right in his tracks, mouth gaping, one leg in his pants, one out. She snorted.

 

"Clothes on now, you dork," she whispered.

 

He stared a couple more seconds then shook his head, snapped out of it, pulled on his pants, that white undershirt she liked so much, though she liked it even more off his back and on the floor. Cute boy. Scrawny with just the tiniest bit of muscles on the arms. She liked that. She liked that so very much. Soon both of them fully clothed and no one to ever suspect he'd spent the night, had sneaked in just when the settlement watch turned to its night shift last night, just when Dana and Ted had fallen fast asleep and Benny… _Shit_. Where the fuck was Benny?

 

"Erm…" Usnavi whispered behind her and when she turned, it wasn't just her skinny little boyfriend waiting for her to walk him downstairs back to his dwelling. Benny was standing in the doorway, big and tall and looming and with the absolute worst case of sex hair Vanessa had ever witnessed. She smirked, pushing past him as he made his entrance back into the elite squad quarters with no shame at all. She walked away a few steps, ready to go, and was reaching out to hold Usnavi's hand but grabbed onto thin air. She looked back and there he was, still back in her shared room, shuffling awkwardly on his feet under Benny's teasing grin.

 

"C'mon," she said, walking up to him, a kiss on his cheek to unfreeze him.

 

Her eyes met Benny's and they nodded at each other. This was just the first time that Usnavi got caught by his best friend, but it wasn't anything new for Vanessa or Benny to cross paths on their way in our out of their quarters when they sneaked their way towards romantic endeavors. They hadn't had a night where everyone slept in their own bed so far. Only a few days of this new situation, and already they'd developed a routine of barely acknowledging the other one with a nod and never, ever talking about it. She pulled on Usnavi's hand but Benny stopped them and gave Usnavi the most crushing bear hug.

 

"You little dork…"

 

"Benny, lemme go!" Usnavi squeaked.

 

"Alright, alright," Benny relented, patting Usnavi's shoulder proudly. "I love you, man."

 

"Yeah, yeah…" Usnavi grumbled and took the lead out of the room. Vanessa and Benny stared at each other and shrugged before he went to his bunk and she joined Usnavi outside.

 

In the empty hall at this time of day, she could just pull on his collar and kiss him plenty, as passionately as if she was leaving tomorrow. There it was again when she dropped his shirt and broke the kiss, that look of wonder and awe. Usnavi had many talents, for sure, but the single one she preferred was being adorable.

 

Camp was empty, still a maze of shadows. She made Usnavi hide behind her to give him some cover as she walked him back to his little shack not far from the kitchens. With a last kiss to thank him for a delightful night, she let him go pretend he'd never left his bed at all. Love wasn't hard to find in this camp, if you were discreet and didn't mind lacking some sleep.

 

Daniela was waiting for her in the training block. They sparred for a couple hours every morning at dawn. Daniela said that if you couldn't be at your best in early morning, you could never be at your best at all and none of your skills mattered. Or maybe she was being overdramatic to try and instill some discipline into Vanessa. Either way, she was a jerk and Vanessa equally hated and admired her.

 

"Yo," Vanessa said, nodding towards Daniela.

 

She got her blade out, got into position, but Daniela just stood, leaning against the fence, staring at her with the hint of an amused smile.

 

"What?" Vanessa asked, already feeling the frown on her face.

 

"Had a good night's sleep?"

 

A small rush of panic, but Vanessa soon told herself that if she'd been in trouble, Daniela wouldn't be joking about it that way. She grunted and gestured for Daniela to come have their scheduled fight session instead of trying to pry anything out of her, but Daniela would not be cowed.

 

"You know, you could probably request him a room in the elite squad hall," she said. "I need you there for emergency calls, but it doesn't mean you can't have your boy there too."

 

"I don't need it," Vanessa says. "C'mon."

 

"I'm just saying," Daniela smirked. "Usnavi is good with a household, he's serious and faithful, and he's been ready to be married off since the first day he saw you. He'd make a perfect little husband."

 

"Shut up," Vanessa growled, trying to hide a smile. "Get into stance."

 

Their fight session was intense, it always was with Daniela. She never gave Vanessa time to break a sweat − Vanessa liked it that way. She worked her spot in the elite squad like it was the only job that mattered and gave it her all. She wouldn't take pity from Daniela or from anyone, winning every brawl only because of her sheer skills and not because the others went soft on her. After the first round, which Daniela won, sweat was starting to drench her back but she didn't mind, because she was just now starting to get to know her opponent's weaknesses and exploiting them. She would win the next round, she was sure. Daniela said that soon, she'd be good enough to be taken on missions out on the field. Good. Vanessa was starting to get tired of the daily training and longed for more.

 

Before she could claim her victory, their fight was cut short by Carla trotting up to the training grounds, calling after Daniela.

 

"Newcomers!" She exclaimed with a grin. "And not one for Nina's meeting, actual travelers. I was helping Claudia when they were brought in."

 

"Claudia?" Daniela asked critically. "Are they wounded?"

 

Carla nodded.

 

"The boy," she explained. "There's a boy and a girl. She says they might stay here. Claudia told me to come tell you immediately."

 

Daniela shoved her blade back into its sheath. Vanessa followed suit, if their training was going to be over. The other soldiers around were security guards who were much below her skill level and she had better things to do than idling around with some average kids that Daniela had assigned to the training grounds to complete their formation before putting them on the job. She was elite squad, not a goddamn teacher.

 

"And where do you think you're going?" Daniela scolded her when Vanessa tried to make an exit. "You're coming with us."

 

Vanessa rolled her eyes, but complied. There went her plan of maybe visiting the kitchen, spend some time with her boy and steal an apple, or maybe even to the lab to check what Nina was doing, if she was still down there. She had a big meeting going on today, right? That'd have been fun to check out. Being under Daniela's good graces wasn't always a blessing if it meant following her around like a puppy.

 

There was a boy lying down on a bunk in the healing hut when they arrived, accompanied by a pacing girl who must have been around Pete's age, give or take. When they entered, she stopped right in her tracks and stared at Daniela with widened eyes full of fears. Daniela tended to have that effect, Vanessa had noticed. She wondered if that was how Petie had reacted when he'd arrived. A shame she'd been too out of it to witness that, passed out or near enough that she hadn't seen the first encounter.

 

"Claudia, brief me in," Daniela ordered, keeping her full height towering over the poor girl − not that Daniela was all that tall, but against teenagers, she was.

 

"Mija, this isn't pretty," Claudia replied. "Hound bite starting to get infected, it's lucky Yolanda managed to get him here as soon as she could…"

 

The girl put her chest out with pride, a timid smile on her face that disappeared under Daniela's serious gaze. The things she dared to do to newcomers. Vanessa knew more than a little bit about that.

 

"Well, well," Daniela said grandly. "¿Qué tenemos aquí?"

 

The girl had been scared before Daniela spoke, but as soon as she heard the Spanish come out of her mouth, her shoulders visibly dropped and she began answering in the same language, just as fast as Usnavi when he was stress-rambling, and Vanessa only just caught that her name was Yolanda and that she'd been tricked by Lone Larry, her friend getting hurt in the process. Before she knew it, Vanessa was going down memory lane, not just her own experience with the old crazy man months ago, but also to her childhood, when she used to speak only Spanish with her mother to make sure Vanessa never forget she was Latina, and lost the habit of speaking it the same time she lost her mom, that day she took Pete in, and, seeing the young girl be so passionate and yet also so defensive, Vanessa had only one desire, and it was to hold the girl and promise it would all go alright here in El Barrio. She shuddered. Too much time with Usnavi was making her soft. Deep inside, she didn't really mind.

 

"Vanessa." Daniela spoke in the exasperated tone that told her this wasn't the first time she was calling her.

 

"Yeah?" Vanessa said, casually leaning against the wall, waiting for orders.

 

"You'll show Yolanda around and when Nina's meeting is over, ask if she has any work for a newcomer. ¿De acuerdo?"

 

Vanessa nodded and gestured for the girl to follow her out and through the streets of camp for a short visit.

 

"This place is so big! I'll never get used to it," Yolanda commented, looking up at the shapes of the buildings of El Barrio. "You've been here long?"

 

"Couple months," Vanessa replied, walking her across camp to show her the main buildings she'd need to know about if she was to stay here for any amount of time.

 

"And you like it here?"

 

Vanessa stopped by the kitchens and through the doorway, waved at Usnavi who smiled shyly and waved back. She liked him _so very much_. Across the pathway, Sonny and Pete were idling on a bench and whispering their idiocies to one another and in the central square, Nina was holding her meeting to change the world, or at least their little world of a settlement.

 

"Yeah," she breathed out. "Yeah, I love it."

 

The sun was high in the sky. All was well.

 

 

"You will too," she added. "Welcome to Camp El Barrio."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT'S A WRAP! Please if you never commented before, comment now to tell me what you thought. This is the longest fic I've ever written in my life and I really want to know how I did.


End file.
